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Full Definition of SELFISH. 1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others. 2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others <a selfish act>
Tough not to be negative when ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is the only definition I have found so far. This is only one of many definitions that I cut and pasted.
How is having children selfish? It's a huge job and expense, with little reward.
My husband kept putting it off for years, because kids are expensive, and they're a lot of work, and we wouldn't have as much free time to pursue our own interests and hobbies. Having children gets in the way of enjoying the things you want to do.
There are plenty of people who never have kids for that very reason--because they don't want to have to share their money with kids, they don't want to share their time with kids, they don't want to lose their freedom, they don't want the responsibility of giving kids a good upbringing. Isn't that selfish?
Some people say they don't want to have children because they think there are too many people in the world already. Fair enough. But there are also too many orphaned kids that need a home, so why not raise those kids?
If having children is "selfish," then not having children by choice is also "selfish." People make these kinds of decisions mostly based on what they think will gratify and please them. And it should be so. Should people decide to have children when what they are thinking is, "Being a parent will make me deeply unhappy, dissatisfied and unfulfilled, but I will just suck it up and have a child anyway, and by the way, I'll be sure to outwardly appear to be a loving, devoted parent for the rest of my life"? Because that would be "unselfish"? I hope not.
People who "unselfishly" decide not to have children because they "can't afford to give them what they need, don't have the patience to be a parent, it's better not to bring a child into this messed-up world, there are enough people already," etc., are very often secretly thinking, "and I really don't want to give up any of my free time and disposable income and have someone hanging around all the time who needs me. I prefer my independence." Even though I have kids, I understand this way of thinking. I get it. But undeniably, it's selfish!
How is having children selfish? It's a huge job and expense, with little reward.
My husband kept putting it off for years, because kids are expensive, and they're a lot of work, and we wouldn't have as much free time to pursue our own interests and hobbies. Having children gets in the way of enjoying the things you want to do.
There are plenty of people who never have kids for that very reason--because they don't want to have to share their money with kids, they don't want to share their time with kids, they don't want to lose their freedom, they don't want the responsibility of giving kids a good upbringing. Isn't that selfish?
I'm so selfish I could have retired years ago if not for having kids. That's how selfish I am. What an idiotic proposition.
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