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Ultimately I am thinking of this baby and it was my intention to help my sister look at all of her options because abortion isn't the only answer. No matter what she decides will be hard. Anyway, how do you contact the mods? I looked over the whole site and can't figure out where to do that.
I'm thinking you can go to your original post and click on the red outlined triangle in the right corner and explain you want this thread closed due to rudeness.
I'm thinking you can go to your original post and click on the red outlined triangle in the right corner and explain you want this thread closed due to rudeness.
Oh okay thanks for pointing that out.
She texted me back and told me it was wrong of her to ask me to adopt her baby. She is going to talk to her BF's mom who had her son when she was young to get a perspective from a woman who was once a young, not ready mom.
She texted me back and told me it was wrong of her to ask me to adopt her baby. She is going to talk to her BF's mom who had her son when she was young to get a perspective from a woman who was once a young, not ready mom.
It sounds as if she has a lot of things to think about. It was unfair of her to put you in the position she did with her original question. Especially if she knows of your feelings on abortion. I'm sure she is still in shock and trying to figure out what is best for her given her situation. It also sounds as if she is considering all her options. Which is how it should be. I felt from your OP that she was put off at the thought of being inconvenienced and had basically told you that if you wanted it fine but otherwise she would terminate the pregancy. That is an awful position to put someone in. If she is putting thought into her choice, involving her BF and his family and you are there for support then it sounds as if she's on the right track and taking things more seriously than originally posted..Whatever she decides, good for her for not taking it lightly.
I didn't go into much detail in my OP. I also just assumed that she would abort it if I didn't want to take it because she said she wouldn't give it up to a stranger. She said she is torn between keeping it and aborting it. Her heart is telling her to keep it and her brain is telling her to abort it. She told me she thought I wouldn't speak to her if she got an abortion which I would never do, she probably just assumed it based on the fact that I'm pro-life. But I am not that cold and callous that I would disown her or quit speaking to her!
Sounds like there is a lot of assuming going on - on both sides. You assuming that someone who considers abortion a viable alternative wouldn't take the thought seriously and her assuming that a pro-life stance infers no support from you...Maybe take her out to lunch for a heart to heart...You can share your support and she can share her concerns. Maybe you both will come away understanding each other's position a little more...
I didn't go into much detail in my OP. I also just assumed that she would abort it if I didn't want to take it because she said she wouldn't give it up to a stranger. She said she is torn between keeping it and aborting it. Her heart is telling her to keep it and her brain is telling her to abort it. She told me she thought I wouldn't speak to her if she got an abortion which I would never do, she probably just assumed it based on the fact that I'm pro-life. But I am not that cold and callous that I would disown her or quit speaking to her!
I'm glad you and your sister can at least discuss this. My sister and my views are so different, this wouldn't possibly be a topic to discuss in a civilized manor. Just be there for your sister. In the end the final decision of whether she chooses to keep, abort of give up her baby will be hers. She's the one that will have to live w/ her decision the rest of her life, not you or anyone else.
OP - Your sister said that you can change your mind up until the baby is born? So, what will she do with the baby if you change your mind a month before it's born? She can't have it aborted then. Will she put it up for adoption? She's obviously not thinking very clearly about this.
I'm pro-choice, but I have to disagree with the posters who think the OP should "put up or shut up." That's ridiculous. The OP isn't encouraging her sister to raise the child. She's encouraging her sister to have the baby, and then give it up for adoption by a family that wants a baby. It seems like the most sensible thing to me.
IMO, the sister is using the OP's strong feelings about abortion to manipulate her into taking the baby.
It sounds like you are only considering adopting the baby because your sister suggested it. If you didn't come up with that solution on your own, you shouldn't adopt the baby. you heart is apparently not in it. If she chooses to abort, that is her choice and non of your business. I don't really understand wanting you to adopt it but not being willing to have another family adopt. That sounds selfish - like she wants the baby in her life, but not as the parent. This is her decision, not yours. I think you already know what you want to do (or don't want to do).
What it sounds like is the sister is considering abortion.
The OP is against abortion and is attempting to talk sister out of having one.
The pregnant sister says, ok, since you are so against abortion and and think I should have the baby, maybe you should be the one to adopt it. I don't want to raise a child and not comfortable having a stranger raise my offspring, so, since you are encouraging me to have the baby, YOU can adopt it and raise it.
Not such an easy decision, is it.
Now the OP is in the same position as the sister: She has to decide whether she wants a child she doesn't think she is prepared to raise.
I think the sister should abort, then NOT GET PREGNANT AGAIN UNTIL SHE IS READY TO RAISE A CHILD.
I think the sister should abort, then NOT GET PREGNANT AGAIN UNTIL SHE IS READY TO RAISE A CHILD.
I don't think you have the right to suggest anyone should abort their baby. This doesn't effect your life, only hers. She will live w/ her choice, not you.
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