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I am amazed that parents has so little clue as to how dangerous it can be for a child to be running around where servers and busboys are moving so fast with hot plates and dirty knives. It made me wonder how common such accidents are.
I witnessed an accident in which a child was injured by her own mother. It was at a pub not geared towards families but more and more parents with small children have been taking it over. One evening a mother came in with her toddler. The mother sat her child down at a table in a chair totally too high for a little child. Then the mom proceeded to try and squeeze her daughter's paraphernalia: toys, diaper bag etc into a non-existent space.
In order to make more room the mother began shoving their table into the next table's space. By this time the little girl had climbed down from her chair and immediately lost her balance and fell down. This didn't hurt her but in the split second (kids move quickly) she was in the line of fire and her mom banged into her while trying to move the table. The child began screaming and crying. She was really hurt. The mother didn't even realize what had happened right away because the pub was very noisy. When she realized what had happened, she gathered up all their things and left presumably to the nearest hospital.
It seems more and more parents are taking their little kids to the most inappropriate places; bars, rock concerts, restaurants not suitable for children, gyms etc. All of which can be potential hazards to the kids. The behavior issue is just one of the problems arising from this type of thing. Safety is also another.
I witnessed an accident in which a child was injured by her own mother. It was at a pub not geared towards families but more and more parents with small children have been taking it over. One evening a mother came in with her toddler. The mother sat her child down at a table in a chair totally too high for a little child. Then the mom proceeded to try and squeeze her daughter's paraphernalia: toys, diaper bag etc into a non-existent space.
In order to make more room the mother began shoving their table into the next table's space. By this time the little girl had climbed down from her chair and immediately lost her balance and fell down. This didn't hurt her but in the split second (kids move quickly) she was in the line of fire and her mom banged into her while trying to move the table. The child began screaming and crying. She was really hurt. The mother didn't even realize what had happened right away because the pub was very noisy. When she realized what had happened, she gathered up all their things and left presumably to the nearest hospital.
It seems more and more parents are taking their little kids to the most inappropriate places; bars, rock concerts, restaurants not suitable for children, gyms etc. All of which can be potential hazards to the kids. The behavior issue is just one of the problems arising from this type of thing. Safety is also another.
That was a point I made earlier in the thread too - people are bringing their kids more and more places, even to places where children don't belong. The days of leaving a child home with a sitter seem long gone.
One of my pet peeves too - parents who won't use the cry rooms at churches We have visited numerous churches this year, some with lovely glassed in cry rooms so that anyone who sits in them won't miss seeing or hearing a thing.
Instead, the rooms go half empty and the people in the congregation have to have the reverent, peaceful interior of the church disturbed by infants and toddlers who can't be quiet for an hour and whose parents are selfish enough to think it's just fine for them to be there. UGH!
That experience must have been very traumatic for you since it has had a grip on your life for so long. I hope your daughter can get over things a little easier and quicker, or she's in for a world of trouble.
Sincerely, good luck.
Hey, thanks.
It happened Tuesday afternoon, at a hospital, before I was to have surgery, so it's a little fresh in my mind.
I do know, however, that I'm pretty happy with my life, my family, and the way things are going. I'm so glad I don't have to walk around with resentment and a poopy attitude like the woman in question. I also know that I don't have to talk down to a child or anyone else for that matter to feel superior.
Thank you, though, for the vote of confidence. I'm quite sure we all learned a lesson that day. And the lesson for me was, dang! Some people really need to get glad in the same pants they got mad in!
Kids are NOT on equal status as adults. Sorry, but they just plain aren't. They are not small versions of adults.
As far as respect; respect is EARNED. Children can be REGARDED as human beings, but they have to earn the respect of an adult.
I think here you are confusing respect (which I agree has to be earned) with common courtesy and common sense. Children are most certainly human. They don't have the same abilities as adults, but as adults it is up to us to realize their capabilities and level of understanding and adjust our approach to them to an appropriate level and tone.
I think here you are confusing respect (which I agree has to be earned) with common courtesy and common sense. Children are most certainly human. They don't have the same abilities as adults, but as adults it is up to us to realize their capabilities and level of understanding and adjust our approach to them to an appropriate level and tone.
No confusion here. I was referring to this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazymomof3
I do think it's really tragic that adults treat children like second class citizens. I think it's also tragic that a grown woman would scold a child in such a way and make her cry without so much as a small apology or a little respect.
Let me clarify that statement because it's obviously misinterpreted. I do believe that there should be a respectful, kind way to speak to someone, namely a child that is not yours. My daughter afforded her respect and an apology, so why is it that this person doesn't have to reciprocate? That makes no sense to me at all. I'm a parent and NEVER get in my child's face. NEVER. I use age appropriate language without insult or rudeness.
And I do believe EVERYONE regardless of age, deserves to be treated in a kind, respectful way. I know that's not always the case, but it really should be.
Going off half cocked, basically calling a 7 year old brainless is absolutely unacceptable. Was it kind? NO. Was it necessary? Absolutely not.
If the situation came up again, I'm quite sure my daughter would react the same way; respectful, kind, and apologetic. I'm proud that my 7 year old displayed more class at that moment that was frightening and humiliating for her.
I'm sad for that woman and her anger and beligerance towards my daughter, but I'm sooo proud of my little girl.
I think here you are confusing respect (which I agree has to be earned) with common courtesy and common sense.
EXACTLY.
Strangers, casual subway acquaintances, the random child in a bathroom stall all deserve to be treated politely. Esteem, honor, deferential regard-- iow, respect-- is something reserved for people who particularly deserve it.
And there are multiple conversations going on. There's a huge difference between wishing Mommie and Daddie would make little Hermia sit down in the restaurant and stop screeching, and verbally attacking a child in a bathroom.
Originally Posted by Crazymomof3
I do think it's really tragic that adults treat children like second class citizens. I think it's also tragic that a grown woman would scold a child in such a way and make her cry without so much as a small apology or a little respect.
Yes. And I am disagreeing with you. The woman in the bathroom was rude and out of line. As the adult in the situation she should have responded with some common courtesy and understanding that she is dealing with someone much smaller and less developed (presumably) than she. She could have started out by asking the child if she was having trouble with the flush - that would have been the mature, grown up and common sense starting point.
Crazymomof3 was quite right to be annoyed by this womans behaviour. The fact that the woman then told CM that she should keep her daughter on a leash just shows how out of line she was.
This is all a matter of parenting. I know that sounds simplistic, but things often are simple.
My kids were generally well behaved in public, but there was one restaurant that seemed to set them off. I only took them there twice, and both times I had to carry a screaming, crying, out of control child outside. Then I kept getting the: "I'll be good, Mommy, I want to go back in!" My answer was: "We can go back in as soon as you calm down and stop crying." My meal was cold by the time we went back to the table, but so what? If my children are misbehaving, it's my responsibility as a parent to remove them from the situation if possible.
From another standpoint, it's also true that a lot of parents don't seem to know what's appropriate. For example, a couple of years ago a friend and I went to Hollywood Blvd. on Halloween to wander around and look at the costumes. There were a lot of small children there, which surprised me on a couple of levels. First of all, the streets were pretty crowded. It wouldn't have taken much for some weird altercation to blow up into something entirely different. Also, it was way past what I would consider a good bedtime! Why wouldn't a toddler be crying when they're out at 10:00 at night, in the midst of a bunch of scarily dressed strangers?
Add to this the way I've seen people treating their kids at the grocery store - ignoring the child because they're busy talking on their cell phone, etc. Why do some people even have children?
Sandy, you just described my wifes' (now estranged, hopefully for good this time) bipolar schizo sister. Ignores her children, mainly her oldest, which is her daughter, because she had a boy afterwards and since the boy was the first born boy great grandchild, she is holding him up and ignoring the elder. They take their kids to NICE restaurants, movies late, etc where they don't belong. Of course, when her kids wake up at 8am, and she isnt ready to crawl out of bed, she makes her husband take them drinks and put them back to sleep. **** poor parenting turns into **** poor children which turn into **** poor adults.
Wife and I went to see a movie last night while our kids stayed at grandmas and it was an 8m movie, was over just before 11 and there were numerous 5 and 6 year olds, WHY? Not even a movie that children belonged in, much like when we went to see avatar a couple weeks ago at 10pm, couldnt figure it out to save ourselves.
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We have visited numerous churches this year, some with lovely glassed in cry rooms so that anyone who sits in them won't miss seeing or hearing a thing. 
Then I kept getting the: "I'll be good, Mommy, I want to go back in!" My answer was: "We can go back in as soon as you calm down and stop crying." My meal was cold by the time we went back to the table, but so what? If my children are misbehaving, it's my responsibility as a parent to remove them from the situation if possible.
m movie, was over just before 11 and there were numerous 5 and 6 year olds, WHY? Not even a movie that children belonged in, much like when we went to see avatar a couple weeks ago at 10pm, couldnt figure it out to save ourselves.