Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There's a great 15-20 page thread in the Austin forum on those race car shopping carts, which are readily available in darn near every grocery store here. Ugh. Hate 'em. Unsteerable aisle hoggers.
So the wife and I decided to go out for dinner tonight, and GASP!! we took our daughters too.. They are 2 and 3, and pretty well behaved, but no child is perfect all the time. Anyways, we had a mixed race, older couple sitting behind my wife and a few booths past them was another younger couple and 3 or 4 kids. The kids were noisy, mainly one of them.. The whole time, this woman sitting behind my wife kept whining about how that kid has something wrong with him and he belongs in a boxing ring, not in a restaurant, she can't believe that people would bring their kids out to a restaurant....
So why is it that people without children don't think those of us with children, should be allowed to take them out in public? If you are annoyed by it, go to an adult establishment and you won't have any worries.
This is the 2nd time someone has opened their mouth, and the last time it was an older (in his 50s) guy sitting across from us in a restaurant and I very politely told him that he was more than welcome to leave, he met that with a foul look and then left. But what is with people, chinese fortune cookie tonight said "if you never speak ill about people, you never have to whisper"
Some of the problem stems from parents knowing that their kids are going to act up in a restaurant , taking them anyways, and not caring if they disrupt other people who spent a whole lot more on a meal than a " kid's special ".
--" but no child is perfect all the time "
Yup, that usually is the excuse given by parents who bring a totally out of control child into public places.
Some of the problem stems from parents knowing that their kids are going to act up in a restaurant , taking them anyways, and not caring if they disrupt other people who spent a whole lot more on a meal than a " kid's special ".
--" but no child is perfect all the time "
Yup, that usually is the excuse given by parents who bring a totally out of control child into public places.
...Because everyone knows children should be kept in cages in the basement at all times.
In order for children to learn to behave in restaurants, or public, the child needs to experience going out so they learn. I have taken our 2 year old grand child out and been complimented how well behaved she is; her mother has taken her out and had to take her to the car as she was misbehaving.
I have seen adults talking loudly on their cell phones in restaurants, drinking and misbehaving also. I think some people need to learn tolerance.
There are ways to teach your kids manners and how to behave when going out without allowing them to reach the point that they disrupt other resturant patrons long enough to ruin their dining experinence.
Part of our problem as a society is that we are too tolerant of bad behavior in public. We settle for bad behavior from children as the norm rather than the exception.
IMO, when it reaches the stage that a parent asks another patron to leave to accomodate his kids disruptive behavior the problem is absolutely the parent.
Kids key in on everything their parents do as they are little sponges. When the father tells the other patron he should leave if he doesn't like the way his children are behaving he has just taught his children that not only are their poor manners acceptable but that they should expect others to accomodate it.
I think that part of the problem is that these same parents likely do not sit down with their children during meals and teach them good table manners there to begin with. Learning should start at home, not in the resturant. For the OP's situation, ages 2 & 3 is like a ticking timebomb and you just know something is going to happen. So, when it does, leave money on the table for your bill and just leave. Your problems are not those of every other patron.
When the father tells the other patron he should leave if he doesn't like the way his children are behaving he has just taught his children that not only are their poor manners acceptable but that they should expect others to accommodate it.
Yes, yes, yes! We have quite enough sociopaths wandering our planet already thank you very much.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 02-05-2010 at 10:34 AM..
We have 3 children, and always go to family friendly places, and we're prepared. I bring a tote of paper, pens, crayons, books, etc. for the kids to be entertained. I try to be acutely aware of others around us, and sometimes a large part of our meal is spent saying, "stop that" or "no elbows on the table", etc. We are really on our kids about manners...none of that running around crap...if they need to go potty, we accompany them. I have a nephew that runs under tables and is a complete menace, and I know how annoying that can be...
I will say that many times our children will point out the lack of manners on people. For example, the other night we were out to eat at Applebees and we were sitting at a table pretty much on top of another table so it was next to impossible to get up if you needed to. My daughter's coat was hanging on her chair, and the man behind her scooted his chair into hers, causing her to go forward, and then knocked her coat off the chair. I reached down instinctively to grab it and then I thought, "hey this guy should apologize or offer to pick it up". Of course he didn't. But my 6 year old thought it was rude, and was upset about it.
What's more annoying to me than children acting up is adults (young and old) sitting within ear shot of our family using profanity and vulgarity. It's really unsettling to sit with your family at dinner and hear the f bomb dropped by a bunch of drunken fools. That is more disprupting to me than a child not sitting still.
But those children who absolutely cannot behave in a civil manner should be kept out of places where civil behavior is necessary.
Yet it still sounds like that would mean everywhere except a cage in the basement to you.
Human brains take about 25 years to develop fully. Until then, kid's minds are not firing on all cylinders. Obviously, they should be taught manners and proper behavior, but it's an ongoing process that takes years.
It just isn't logical or natural to expect them to act like little adults; they don't have the mental faculties to do it. Besides, you only get to be a kid once; they have the rest of their lives to be forced to be miserable and stand in line with the rest of us adults.
Sometimes I wish it woud be still be thrilling to go run around the grocery store isles screaming and laughing too.
In order for children to learn to behave in restaurants, or public, the child needs to experience going out so they learn. I have taken our 2 year old grand child out and been complimented how well behaved she is; her mother has taken her out and had to take her to the car as she was misbehaving.
I have seen adults talking loudly on their cell phones in restaurants, drinking and misbehaving also. I think some people need to learn tolerance.
They learn by teaching them at the house, how to behave at dinner. Thats how I learned, thats how I taught my son.
If your children are well behaved, thats fine, good for you. If your kids are acting like little monkeys, take them outside. The thing is, most parents know how their kids act. You should do a self evaluation before bringing them to a public place of eating. If you wouldn't want to be seated next to someone elses kids, that are acting like yours, don't bring yours then. Some people just don't realize their kids are a problem, because they are all "little angels"
I think we deprive our children of an essential right of passage when we give them a seat at the adult table, so to speak, before they've earned the right to be there. This afternoon, my husband and I were discussing a related issue, and he said something that has stuck with me all day. In essence, he said that we introduce the trivial too early and the important too late when raising our children.
I will never forget the first time I was allowed to join my parents in a "real" restaurant. I was 12 and it was quite an event for me! It was the first time I ever had a shrimp cocktail too. It made me feel very grown up and I tried very hard to be the perfect lady so that my parents would be proud of me.
I agree with you 100 percent formercalifornian. It is a privilege that should be earned!
20yrsinBranson
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
