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Kids get put into handcuffs for doodling on desks, but nothing is done when they threaten to kill a classmate? And there is a debate as to whether a child being threatened with poisoning is serious enough to get riled up? Seriously?
I'm so glad I homeschool and don't have to deal with this utter absurdity!
Home schooling is ok but it takes away from the child every day interaction with other children. It takes away the social learning that classroom setting provides. Every child goes through a time when they have to deal with a bully and they almost always learn from it. This experiece will teach the child about people like this bully so that he will not be completely sheltered and unprepared in life the way that a home schooled child will be. Your child will grow from this bully experience. This is something all males go through.
Maybe I live where people don't get overly hysterical over kids being bad.
See, this is an attitude that I find disturbing. This kid is not "just being bad." That is where you and I (and others too, apparently) see this completely differently.
Stealing lunch money, holding a leg out and tripping another kid, yelling "poopy pants!" -- these are kids "being bad."
Terrorizing a classmate and threatening to KILL said classmate -- this is not "being bad." This is being seriously disturbed and needs to be dealt with immediately and harshly.
How many news stories do you need to read before you realize the difference? There have been numerous instances of adults ignoring kids "just being bad" and taking care they don't "overreact" and the consequences have been TRAGIC.
In my experience, and I have raised a son all the way through school, most children who have serious behavioral disturbances have someone at home who isn't going to respond to reason. The 3Ds has had several good, very reasonable, comments. She is NOT overreacting. She's stating reality.
This kind of stuff i going to happen with kids. It's part of growing up. Of course it's wrong but it' going to happen. When I was his age and younger, kids would build forts in the woods and make little jails out of metal bed springs or something like that and lock kids up. My younger brother was once locked in the back of a truck before someone could get him out. Both times these kids acted like they were going to keep the kids in there to scare them. This is the kind of stuff that goes on in the young lives of males. If a boy learns to act like a baby and complain and tell his mommy every little time someone says something that sounds disturbing or mean than he is going to have more problems later in life. Young boys who are bullies pick up on the behavior that of cry baby mamas boys and this is part of the reason they get picked on. This is something the father is better suited to teach the boy. No offense but this is dads department.
Home schooling is ok but it takes away from the child every day interaction with other children. It takes away the social learning that classroom setting provides. Every child goes through a time when they have to deal with a bully and they almost always learn from it. This experiece will teach the child about people like this bully so that he will not be completely sheltered and unprepared in life the way that a home schooled child will be. Your child will grow from this bully experience. This is something all males go through.
Not necessarily. Most homeschooling parents who I know provide their children with plenty of opportunities to interact with their peers and they are able to learn all about socialization through everyday experiences in the real world. The classroom only provides interaction with children of the same age and for the most part that interaction is controlled by the teacher with a limited amount of time for free play. One could just as easily argue that children who spend their days in a traditional classroom setting are much more sheltered and unprepared for the real world then children who are home schooled and spend their days out and about in their communities.
Back on topic . To the OP, I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I think it's awful that the school never notified you about "poisoning threat" incident. I think you're handling the situation well and I wish you luck. I hope it gets resolved soon.
This kind of stuff i going to happen with kids. It's part of growing up. Of course it's wrong but it' going to happen. When I was his age and younger, kids would build forts in the woods and make little jails out of metal bed springs or something like that and lock kids up. My younger brother was once locked in the back of a truck before someone could get him out. Both times these kids acted like they were going to keep the kids in there to scare them. This is the kind of stuff that goes on in the young lives of males. If a boy learns to act like a baby and complain and tell his mommy every little time someone says something that sounds disturbing or mean than he is going to have more problems later in life. Young boys who are bullies pick up on the behavior that of cry baby mamas boys and this is part of the reason they get picked on. This is something the father is better suited to teach the boy. No offense but this is dads department.
Finally, a voice of reason.
I used to scream at my brother, "I'm going to kill you !!!" When he picked on me, and I meant it. Kids say things. He's still alive.
Must be I should have been locked up and the key thrown away because I threatened the life of my brother. Had my mother been one of these hysterical parents, she would have had me put away at a very young age.
I believe most kids would be put away because of saying things that were threatening to someone else. Because it isn't always told to the parent, doesn't mean things aren't said all the time. Kids say things.
Kids need to learn to fight back if they don't want to hear what other kids say like that.
I used to scream at my brother, "I'm going to kill you !!!" When he picked on me, and I meant it. Kids say things. He's still alive.
Must be I should have been locked up and the key thrown away because I threatened the life of my brother. Had my mother been one of these hysterical parents, she would have had me put away at a very young age.
I believe most kids would be put away because of saying things that were threatening to someone else. Because it isn't always told to the parent, doesn't mean things aren't said all the time. Kids say things.
Kids need to learn to fight back if they don't want to hear what other kids say like that.
I'm not wanting to get into the middle of it between you and the other poster whom seem to be going at each other on here, however I just wanted to comment on something you just stated.
I whole heartedly agree that kids can make some horrible threats to one another and not actually mean them or have the mindset to actually follow through with their threats. Things can and will be said in the heat of the moment. I know I made my share of threats as well to my sister and she too is still alive and doing well.
However the difference between saying "I'm going to kill you" and saying "I'm going to kill you with this" or "like this" and show something that could be poison or brandishing a weapon of some sort is HUGE!
I think that is why some parents are concerned that what that bully did was much more than something kids will say in the heat of the moment. That bully showed premeditation in the fact that not only did he threaten the kid's life, but actually told him how he was going to do it and showed him what it was he was going to pour down his throat.
The advice to report this threat to the police is not being a hysterical, over reacting parent. This bully has shown he has the mindset to sometime actually follow through with his threats.
Today is "stand up to bullying" day at our school, and our kids are wearing pink in support. Unfortunately, bullying goes on, and it can be devastating. What you have working in your favor is that your child is talking to you about it. Some children suffer silently, and as we've seen in recent times, the results can be devastating. However, I think making the school aware, be it the teacher, counselor, bus driver, or prinicipal is a great course of action. At least if you've made them aware, a dialogue has been opened up about it all.
I have a 2nd grader, too, who was being pushed around a bit by another child...she was able to just ignore this girl and while it was hard at first, not that she ignores her and stays away from her, it's not as bad as it was before. I made the teacher aware, and the teacher switched their seats so that the girl in question wouldn't be in close proximity to my daughter. I also told the bus driver, and the seats were switched as well. It stopped because the girl wasn't getting a reaction out of my daughter. In this case, the girl is an only child who is DESPERATE for attention and acts out to get it...because I know this girl and where she comes from, I instructed my daughter to ignore her, walk away if she talks to her, etc. and it worked.
She never threatened my daughter, and I'm not really sure how I'd react to that, but one thing I always tell my kids is that NO ONE has the power to hurt them unless we let them. I know it's easier said than done, but building up my children and empowering them to "walk away" or ignore bad behavior from other children is what I try to focus on. My children are so concerned with praise and acknowledgement from their teachers, that they stay focused on that and focus on their true friends and stay away from the bad eggs so to speak.
If I were you, I would definitely talk to the powers that be and make them aware of the situation. Best to you and your child...it's never an easy situation, and it is hard because we don't want ANYONE to hurt our kids in any way.
NoExcuses, if the bully in question said "I'm going to kill you with this," and held up a knife, or a rope, or a gun, would you be so blase about the whole thing? Would you say, "boys will be boys... if he didn't actually stab/strangle/shoot you, what's the problem?"
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. To the OP, I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I think it's awful that the school never notified you about "poisoning threat" incident. I think you're handling the situation well and I wish you luck. I hope it gets resolved soon.
