If you knew then what you know now (BF, babies, fertile)

[CityGirl72]

Would you be a mother?

Please don't feel bad if you say no - this is an open forum with (hopefully) no judges.

I'm going to say "No", even my best friend agreed. But we think alike - that's what makes us close.

Actually my son was unplanned. I was 29 and actually thinking maybe I didn't really want kids anyhow

I never had a baby "urge"

I am 110% a mother to my son - many people compliment me, I give him my whole life and soul. And do I adore him? OH YES! Can I imagine life without him? - H&ll no!

But if I knew it would be like this - I'd say No to motherhood, it's rewarding but not THAT rewarding.

[mm_mary73]

I certainly would've waited until I was at least in my mid 20s, that's for sure!

[moonsavvy]

Thanks for your honesty Citygirl, I appreciate it. When I look for other "mom" friends I look for people who are open and honest. You seem like that.

Motherhood has it's up's and down's, but If I could do it over again, I would. It's lead me on a whole new path. I like this path better than the last one I was on. Having children brought up some very old childhood issues that I never dealt with. It made it challenging, but worthwhile. Take care.

[vetegnc]

If I knew how fast I would get pregnant (my husband was told his count was so low it was considered infertile...in his previous marriage that they tried for several years), I would've waited longer to enjoy the marriage and non-child life!!

(It took me...ONE month to get pregnant! What a surprise!! You get 'em when you're supposed to, huh?)

(but the original question....I can't imagine life without them...just a couple years later would've been ideal!!)

[tahiti]

I would say yes, with a few stipulations

my boys are 9 years old. i LOVE how independent they are, and how we now can take them cool places and do cool things. baby/toddlerhood nearly sucked the life out of me, and i think it was because of their neediness. i guess i wasn't completely prepared to give up my life in its entirety. now that they are older, bigger and you can actually have good conversations i enjoy motherhood so much more.

i shake my head in disbelief when i hear of or see little babies and toddlers in Disney World - what's the point?! I love Disney so much I wanted "equals" when we were there - kids who would remember and go on the rides that I wanted to - it's way too expensive otherwise! That's why we waited until my guys were 7. It's stuff like that that makes me enjoy my older kids infinitely more than when they were younger.

Don't get me wrong - I can look at old videos when they were babies and start crying, but from an overall quality of life perspective, age 7,8 and up are ROCKING so far. I'll check back in about 5 yrs

btw citygirl - i never had the 'mommie' urge either.

[Lisa_from_Debary]

I absolutely would have and if I had it to do all over again, I would have had more then one.

There was never any doubt in my mind that I wanted to have children.

[MsB23]

I, too, had an unexpected pregnancy. I was 27 & the father had no interest in being a father. So, I was left to my own devices. I met a man when I was 7+ months pregnant & fell in love. Some kind of miracle there. He has been "daddy" since before my son was born.

I never liked kids. I wasn't sure I wanted any. I was leaning toward "No" when I found out I was pregnant.

My son is my universe, & I never realized that a love like that existed before my baby boy.

On the downside, I have not slept enough since he was born. My BF & I have only been out twice alone since my son was born 16+ months ago. He has been out with friends more often. In certain respects, I feel a little trapped, because there are things that are just not options anymore. I am more tied down that I used to be, & that's tough.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have changed my mind. I am shocked myself, but I would still be a mommy even if I had known.

[irishmom]

Absolutely would do it again! Becoming a mother completed me in a way that is difficult to describe. I always said I wanted kids but had not clock in my mind as to when. When it happened we were ready, and it's been one heck of a ride since. Not a thing I would change, except I probably wouldn't opt for heart failure if I could change that about me and pregnancy.

[pirate girl]

My son made me the person I am today. He has taught me patience, unconditional love, and how important it is to be the best I can be. If I never had him I think I would have been somewhat of a drifter- life might have been more glamorous but definitely not as fulfilling.

With that being said, I am amazed at the honesty being shared here. It can't be easy to admit that you wouldn't do it again- I admire your candor.

[RedWingsFan]

Yes, in a heart beat! Sure, parenting is tough work, but someone did it for us. That's how society goes on. And even if it's not that rewarding when they growing up that doesn't mean you won't find it super rewarding later on when you can relax, breath and see your hard work in action when he's an adult.