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Yeah, I'm with maciesmom. Despite it being well written as opposed to other threads just like it (in varying degrees of absurdity of course) I find it hard to believe as well. A bored college student perhaps?
No - there really are very dysfunctional families out there. One guy at work was telling me that he and his wife completely don't know what to do with their 15 year old daughter because she drinks and stays out all night when she wants to.
He said she'll come home at 3 or 4 in the morning and they have no clue where she was all night. She tells them "f... off" if they try to ask. He said they tried to ground her but they would hear nothing in her room, open the door and find nothing but an opened window.
He said that she does just whatever she wants, has zero respect for either parent and they're very afraid that some day she's not going to come home at all and she'll be found murdered by some pervert or in a car accident with a drunk driver or a victim of date rape drugs.
They try the same old techniques, they try to reason with her but she simply tells them "f... off", they try to send her to her room for a time out but she leaves the house. He said they can't do anything anymore but just hope she somehow turns out okay.
Thanks for the replies everyone. I had some health issues ever since we moved into our two story house from a single story. As a result, it was difficult for me to go upstairs and my husband had to help out a lot. This happened about 3.5 years ago. This strengthened their bond and he started to spoil her with things. Eventually, she being a child, started to get use to things and started to exploit him.
He re-assured me that she will get more mature. I had enough about 2 years ago, and started to tell her to start helping out and start becoming part of the family. However, she just would not listen and would create an uproar when we did not give into her demands. My husband, daughter and I started to get into more fights and now the situation has gotten so severe that she hardly ever comes downstairs to spend time with me and only talks to him.
Whenever we try to take the phone, mp3 or laptop away she starts to shout and scream and uses profanity. She cries and tells us she won't do her homework and won't go to school. She throws things in her room and makes holes in the wall. She even runs away and my husband goes out to find her. The principal at school says to call the police when she runs away and have them fetch her. However, I don't want to embarrass our family in the neighborhood.
She is out of control and I agree with you all the blame does go to us. It started out as just trying to make her happy, but now it has turned into a situation where we are terrified of her reaction to the word "No."
She was a very bright GATE student and is now getting D's and F's. She also says she has no desire whatsover to go college and if she doesn't get to be a professional skateboarder she won't do anything else. This is clearly a lack of maturity/understanding. I agree we all need counseling, but she doesn't understand that we are in control and she has to listen to us until she is 18.
Life is difficult outside, and if it his her decision to move out at 18, I have to let her even if it breaks my heart. However, I think I have a responsibility to society and her to teach her the norms of a civil society.
I'm sorry if I sound like a whiner but I've really reached my wits end, I am almost 50 and never expected to deal with this much stress and turmoil at this stage of my life. But at the same time I love my daughter and I am willing to do anything to ensure that she has a good and stable life that will nurture her into a responsible, respectable and mature adult.
Thanks for any help/advice.
I still don't buy this: here's why:
Would the real mbk21 please stand up?
08-02-2007, 10:40 AM
mbk21
Junior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2007
8 posts, read 8,164 times
Reputation: 10
Best commute from Yorba Linda to Irvine
Hi Everyone,
I'm going to be starting college at UCI in the fall and wanted to know if there is a good route to take to get to UCI. I know that the freeway's will be packed, but I just wanted to know if there are any alternative routes (like getting off at an exit on the 55 and taking the roads) or just taking the roads period.
BTW, I live near Yorba Linda Blvd./Lakeview/Imperial. I'm going to be stressed out enough with college life, so I don't want a commute that is too stressful too, I know sounds impossible, lol
Thanks in advance.
This "untameable" 13 year old sounds a lot like a poster with a different username from just about a month ago....anyone remember that one?
Reps to you! I'm always wary of these bizarre stories. I do believe that there are people who's kids are out of control but I have a hard time believing that they can express themselves so clearly and STILLL not know what the problem is. And when they are relatively new or infrequent posters....
This is one reason I'm not sure that I'm ever going to have children
I also thought that this thread was a joke. However, I've read more unbelievable stuff on this forum...so I'll bite
I hope that your husband starts supporting you. He's a douchebag. Sorry to be so blunt, but what the HELL is he thinking supporting this kind of behavior and undermining you? Spouses should come before children, ALWAYS, unless there are extreme circumstances (abuse, etc). I agree with others who have suggested showing him this thread.
Just out of curiosity, you don't have to answer, how do your sons react to this? How old are they? If for no other reason than to regain control as a parent, I hope that your husband realizes that he's probably making those poor boys feel like sh** by spoiling the daughter. That's extremely unfair and bordering on cruel. By rewarding behaviors like PUNCHING HOLES INTO WALLS and screaming like a child, he's doing absolutely nothing to help the situation.
I commend you for wanting to resolve this situation. Part of me wants to rail you like everyone else for letting things get this out of hand, but I am not in your shoes and have no right to judge you. I will judge the husband, though, because that's just ridiculous.
That being said, I do need to say is your fear of embarassment is assanine. If you don't stop this now (and I agree that calling the police may be the best course of action) you're going to be way more embarassed later on when she gets into worse trouble. It seems like although you want to be a better parent, you still want to protect her to some degree. I get that, I think it's nice, but right now she needs structure. If you calmly explain to her why things are changing, it might help you feel better about it and just maybe it'll get through her head that you aren't trying to ruin her life. Although that could take a while.
As other posters have said, continue to tell her that you love her, etc and give explanations for the punishments and guidelines that you're imposing.
Join Date: Aug 2007
8 posts, read 8,164 times
Reputation: 10
Best commute from Yorba Linda to Irvine
Hi Everyone,
I'm going to be starting college at UCI in the fall and wanted to know if there is a good route to take to get to UCI. I know that the freeway's will be packed, but I just wanted to know if there are any alternative routes (like getting off at an exit on the 55 and taking the roads) or just taking the roads period.
BTW, I live near Yorba Linda Blvd./Lakeview/Imperial. I'm going to be stressed out enough with college life, so I don't want a commute that is too stressful too, I know sounds impossible, lol
Thanks in advance.
This "untameable" 13 year old sounds a lot like a poster with a different username from just about a month ago....anyone remember that one?
And I just wasted a good 20 minutes on my reply. Grr...
Oh boy I'ma gonna get trashed for this BUT
Grab that spoiled brat by the back of her neck and bend her over the end of the couch and beat her a$$.. Thats how you get control of this kinda kid .. a trip behind the wood shed kept most of us in line and outta trouble once a year ..
And Yes I am a jerk ..
I wouldnt take that crap from my kids or my grandkids .. ever..
"talking" to kids like this is like a namby pamby shampoo at the hairdressers .. yanno the light touch that doesnt feel like you got a shampoo.. yeh well a good dose of reality is due that brat so .. either a boot camp or jail time awaits her ( andf the boys) if you dont get control asap ..
Drag the brat down stairs by the hair at meal time .. make her do the dishes , make her act like a human being instead of the queenand then take the cell the tv and the other stuff she expects of you and sell it off .. and while your at it tell her she has head lice
======
yeh yeh I am mean but a smart a$$ kid like this does need a heavy handed dose of reality
and if she calls the cops ... tell her you best be gone when I get home in the morning .. or demand the social worker take right then .. .. foster care is a great wake up call ..
I think the problem stems from the parents not being syncronised and in agreement. To me nothing will get fixed until the parents are united.
I am all for trips to the wood shed, confiscating personal items, restricting freedom etc etc but there is no point to this unless the parents are in agreement and have a strategy and plan layed out.
To me as a part of this the parents have to agree as to what they want to achieve and how they want their daughter to behave. And realise that she aint gona change from a ratbag to a obedient daughter in 24 hrs.
Join Date: Aug 2007
8 posts, read 8,164 times
Reputation: 10
Best commute from Yorba Linda to Irvine
Hi Everyone,
I'm going to be starting college at UCI in the fall and wanted to know if there is a good route to take to get to UCI. I know that the freeway's will be packed, but I just wanted to know if there are any alternative routes (like getting off at an exit on the 55 and taking the roads) or just taking the roads period.
BTW, I live near Yorba Linda Blvd./Lakeview/Imperial. I'm going to be stressed out enough with college life, so I don't want a commute that is too stressful too, I know sounds impossible, lol
Thanks in advance.
This "untameable" 13 year old sounds a lot like a poster with a different username from just about a month ago....anyone remember that one?
My son originally created this account on our e-mail account. I had googled some issues with parenting and this forum came across and decided to not waste time in creating my own separate account and just vent.
My son originally created this account on our e-mail account. I had googled some issues with parenting and this forum came across and decided to not waste time in creating my own separate account and just vent.
good luck--some of the posters here on the forum love to challenge others as being someone else---that happened to me too
I'm sorry that some of you think this is a hoax. I honestly wish that I could make something like this up but unfortunately it is reality.
I'm going to try to implement your advice as much as possible and I am willing to take the blame that you have given my husband and I as you have told me.
It is an uphill task and will require a lot of patience, I just hope that it will not be too late.
Thanks again.
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And I just wasted a good 20 minutes on my reply. Grr...
