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UPDATE: I mentioned to my sister in front of everyone that I was very upset that she did not return my phone calls or emails abou the debt she owed me and she exploded. She said rich people like me don't know what it is like to be poor like her and I owed it to her because I am rich and she is poor and I should be ashamed of myself for asking her to repay the money I sent her. She then stormed out of the house in a huff!
Then the family unloaded on her and everyone exchanged stories about how they borrowed her money due to one financial emergency after another and after a few payments the checks repaying the debt stopped.
I am middle class not rich, by the way!
She has returned and I have not said a word to her since!
So on top of her other flaws, she is a victim. I would buy Her a copy of "Total Money Makeover" or some other book that would show Her the way in case she doesnt know. Sounds like she is just being stubborn and happy to be a victim, so the chances of Her looking in the mirror and recognizing she is the problem is pretty slim, but its worth a shot. You never know.
What an interesting discussion so far! I am just shocked at the large number of posters who think that I should have just gifted the $500 to my sister to bail her out of the jam she was in for the late car payment regardless of my lack of a personal relationship I have had with her since she was born. (The most I get out of her is a grunt or curt hello except the day she asked for money.) If I should just give her the money because she asked for it isn't that being unfair to my other brothers and sisters who are nicer and did not get in over their head with a too high car payment for her income?
In your situation (and as you affirmed in a later post), you obviously have a 'deadbeat' sister --- to whom everyone in the family has 'lent' money with no return. You really have only two choices if the situation repeats itself. GIVE her the money with no expectation of a return (thus saving both of you a great deal of aggravation and hard feelings) .... OR don't give her the money. What's the point of calling your help a 'loan'.
Your sister sounds like a piece of work. I can't stand people like that. You shouldn't have known not to lend her the money since you two were never close but I think deep down you wanted to have close relationship which I understand. It sucks that family would do that to you. I won't say don't forgive but don't give her anymoe money and keep her at a distance since she's a user.
Since you have the letter maybe you can take her to small claims. I don't know how the process works for that.
Your sister sounds like a piece of work. I can't stand people like that. You shouldn't have known not to lend her the money since you two were never close but I think deep down you wanted to have close relationship which I understand. It sucks that family would do that to you. I won't say don't forgive but don't give her anymore money and keep her at a distance since she's a user.
Since you have the letter maybe you can take her to small claims. I don't know how the process works for that.
What an interesting idea- SMALL CLAIMS COURT. What do you think?
Now if she had shown herself as a classy person who tried hard to pay back her debt and had some financial set back and called me to explain, I would have forgiven the debt, but instead she just drops off the face of the earth and does not communicative with me after she stops paying and then when I do see her she makes me feel like a terrible person for asking her to start paying me again. SHE PROMISED me when she called originally she would pay me $40 a month. SHE PROMISED!
If she has no assets, you may win and still get nothing. What's the point?
A judgement on her credit report may not have monetary value for the OP, but she will have quite the rough time getting any corporate entities to extend her credit. Fair is fair;OP extended kind courtesy. Deadbeat deserves nothing less than seven years of pain and sorrow (unless her credit score is already boned to begin with)
In January I got a phone call from a sister who I rarely ever talk to. I only see her at Christmas. She lives four hundred miles away. When I see her at Christmas she usually gives me a cold shoulder and if we do talk it is just a quip here and there or part of a group discussion. Usually she is really cold to me for some reason, so I gave up trying. She has no credit cards after many unpaid bills, and has wrote so many bad checks she can't get a traditional bank account.
Anyway, when she called I was so happy to hear a friendly tone in her voice and she seemed so conversational. We chatted like regular people should for about fifteen minutes and thought finally she had matured and wanted a traditional family relationship.
At the end of her phone call, she told me that she was going to lose her car if someone did not pay the bank $500 within twenty four hours. So in a moment of weakness I said OK, I would transfer money from my bank account to her bank to pay the loan. SHE PROMISED to pay me $40 a month until the loan was paid off. I asked her to send me a letter telling stating that promise, which she did. So I sent her bank $500.00
Since then she has not said a word to me, ignored my phone messages and emails, and has not sent me a dime. I have not seen her face to face. Now with Christmas coming up again, and her and the family are getting together with me, should I forgive the loan, or ask her about it? What would you do if you had the same type of relationship I have with my sister?
She seems like a very self-serving person that probably never had any intentions of paying back. I would wait and see if she brings it up first, and if she doesn't, I would ask why she never returned my calls or emails... for starters.
Interestingly, I was "inspired" to write this (click here) by a somewhat similar situation that I saw someone pull in our family.
In general, I think it is a bad idea. Maybe to someone very reliable for a specific, short term reason. But I would rather just give a gift and not have any baggage that would come with a loan.
If you give money to some people, it is just like feeding a stray cat. They will keep coming back and whining until you do it again and again.
I don't lend money but I'll give it to someone if I had it to give, and if I cared.
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