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What an interesting idea- SMALL CLAIMS COURT. What do you think?
Now if she had shown herself as a classy person who tried hard to pay back her debt and had some financial set back and called me to explain, I would have forgiven the debt, but instead she just drops off the face of the earth and does not communicative with me after she stops paying and then when I do see her she makes me feel like a terrible person for asking her to start paying me again. SHE PROMISED me when she called originally she would pay me $40 a month. SHE PROMISED!
I lent a friend 1k and he only paid me $200 of it. Maybe I could have tried to take it to court but I just couldn't be bothered. It was a hard lesson I had to learn. People always make promises when it comes to borrowing money. He wasn't a sibling but I knew him for 10+ years, so I understand your hurt. I had to cut my losses. It's unfortunate how selfish some people can be.
I understand it's the principle. I suggested you may want to take it to court if it's really bothering you but maybe you should just your losses like I mentioned before.
The topic was brought up by the family at the end of the Christmas events. The general feeling of everyone in the family is I should let it go and just gift her the money. It's family. I am rich (in their eyes) and she is poor, she needs the charity.
It became a philosophical argument and I put up a strong defense for my side of the story but at the end no one would accept my argument. Again, I told the sister who I borrowed money to and everyone else that I don't owe anyone in the family my hard earned money just because they are making less money than me. I went to college, took risks, worked hard and learned a hard and difficult career field. I do well because of hard work and have unique talents. The sister that is always broke and has borrowed money from other brothers and sisters in the past and stop paying after a couple of checks, did not work hard growing up, moves from one low wage job to the next and did not get any college or vocational training. Her lack of career and financial success is her fault, not mine.
Finally, I argued that if she would have asked for a gift of the money and had built a friendly relationship with me in the past, I likely would have GIVEN her the money she needed as a gift. But she asked for a loan and PROMISED to pay me back. She broke that promise.
In the end she is seen as a victim by our family and I was seen as the greedy rich person who does not share my wealth.
BTY: I am not rich and have suffered many financial set back in the past but are doing fine today.
The topic was brought up by the family at the end of the Christmas events. The general feeling of everyone in the family is I should let it go and just gift her the money. It's family. I am rich (in their eyes) and she is poor, she needs the charity.
It became a philosophical argument and I put up a strong defense for my side of the story but at the end no one would accept my argument. Again, I told the sister who I borrowed money to and everyone else that I don't owe anyone in the family my hard earned money just because they are making less money than me. I went to college, took risks, worked hard and learned a hard and difficult career field. I do well because of hard work and have unique talents. The sister that is always broke and has borrowed money from other brothers and sisters in the past and stop paying after a couple of checks, did not work hard growing up, moves from one low wage job to the next and did not get any college or vocational training. Her lack of career and financial success is her fault, not mine.
Finally, I argued that if she would have asked for a gift of the money and had built a friendly relationship with me in the past, I likely would have GIVEN her the money she needed as a gift. But she asked for a loan and PROMISED to pay me back. She broke that promise.
In the end she is seen as a victim by our family and I was seen as the greedy rich person who does not share my wealth.
BTY: I am not rich and have suffered many financial set back in the past but are doing fine today.
Unfortunately, it's something that happens often in families. The borrower is someone that has very limited resources and while they may ask for a loan, they are looking at it as a gift with no intention to pay it back. They can internalize it by thinking that the lender has plenty while they have nothing and the lender won't miss it at. They don't realize that even if they paid back only a few dollars at a time, that would at least be something and probably not sever the relationship. But that's not where their mindset is. Don't be too surprised if some of the other sympathizing family members haven't done the same thing she did at some point in their lives. It's a lesson in trust that comes with a price.
The topic was brought up by the family at the end of the Christmas events. The general feeling of everyone in the family is I should let it go and just gift her the money. It's family. I am rich (in their eyes) and she is poor, she needs the charity.
It became a philosophical argument and I put up a strong defense for my side of the story but at the end no one would accept my argument. Again, I told the sister who I borrowed money to and everyone else that I don't owe anyone in the family my hard earned money just because they are making less money than me. I went to college, took risks, worked hard and learned a hard and difficult career field. I do well because of hard work and have unique talents. The sister that is always broke and has borrowed money from other brothers and sisters in the past and stop paying after a couple of checks, did not work hard growing up, moves from one low wage job to the next and did not get any college or vocational training. Her lack of career and financial success is her fault, not mine.
Finally, I argued that if she would have asked for a gift of the money and had built a friendly relationship with me in the past, I likely would have GIVEN her the money she needed as a gift. But she asked for a loan and PROMISED to pay me back. She broke that promise.
In the end she is seen as a victim by our family and I was seen as the greedy rich person who does not share my wealth.
BTY: I am not rich and have suffered many financial set back in the past but are doing fine today.
I feel where you're coming from, but at some point it's worth just cutting your losses for appearances sake with the rest of your family. You got burned, everyone knows it, and everyone knows what type of person your sister is. But you can't really press it beyond that and make a big stink in front of everyone demanding repayment over and over lest you appear greedy and tactless. I realize you don't see it that way, but perception is often reality from their POV and the small amount of money you want back from your sister isn't worth messing up any other family dynamics and relationships. Again, not condoning your sister's actions in any way (I'd be pretty upset too), but that's my two cents...
The topic was brought up by the family at the end of the Christmas events. The general feeling of everyone in the family is I should let it go and just gift her the money. It's family. I am rich (in their eyes) and she is poor, she needs the charity.
In the end she is seen as a victim by our family and I was seen as the greedy rich person who does not share my wealth.
That's straight up dysfunction. But it's always been that way for plenty of families. The kid that messed around in school, got horrible grades is coddled by the parents for being different, misunderstood or just a slow learner. While the other guy in the corner, making good grades, doing things with their life-screw them, they can take care of themselves. Lets invest all our interest on the misguided less they end up in prison, pregnant by/with a deadbeat or homeless.
Please understand that you aren't the first nor the last to have a family say/do this to you. I had (expensive) things stolen by a family member. She admitted it but never returned the merchandise. I told her to never step foot in my home again. The ENTIRE family to include my SO said that I was trying to cause drama and just let it go for the sake of togetherness. Unbelievable!
The topic was brought up by the family at the end of the Christmas events. The general feeling of everyone in the family is I should let it go and just gift her the money. It's family. I am rich (in their eyes) and she is poor, she needs the charity.
It became a philosophical argument and I put up a strong defense for my side of the story but at the end no one would accept my argument. Again, I told the sister who I borrowed money to and everyone else that I don't owe anyone in the family my hard earned money just because they are making less money than me. I went to college, took risks, worked hard and learned a hard and difficult career field. I do well because of hard work and have unique talents. The sister that is always broke and has borrowed money from other brothers and sisters in the past and stop paying after a couple of checks, did not work hard growing up, moves from one low wage job to the next and did not get any college or vocational training. Her lack of career and financial success is her fault, not mine.
Finally, I argued that if she would have asked for a gift of the money and had built a friendly relationship with me in the past, I likely would have GIVEN her the money she needed as a gift. But she asked for a loan and PROMISED to pay me back. She broke that promise.
In the end she is seen as a victim by our family and I was seen as the greedy rich person who does not share my wealth.
BTY: I am not rich and have suffered many financial set back in the past but are doing fine today.
I mentioned earlier you should just gift her the money and cut your losses, but after listening to everyone's willingness to make her a victim, I would try and collect.
This Person has to learn the hard way. I would take her to small claims court and try and collect. The problem is that she has been doing this for a long time and no one has ever held her accountable. Its time to grow the freak up and start being responsible.
The topic was brought up by the family at the end of the Christmas events. The general feeling of everyone in the family is I should let it go and just gift her the money. It's family. I am rich (in their eyes) and she is poor, she needs the charity.
It became a philosophical argument and I put up a strong defense for my side of the story but at the end no one would accept my argument. Again, I told the sister who I borrowed money to and everyone else that I don't owe anyone in the family my hard earned money just because they are making less money than me. I went to college, took risks, worked hard and learned a hard and difficult career field. I do well because of hard work and have unique talents. The sister that is always broke and has borrowed money from other brothers and sisters in the past and stop paying after a couple of checks, did not work hard growing up, moves from one low wage job to the next and did not get any college or vocational training. Her lack of career and financial success is her fault, not mine.
Finally, I argued that if she would have asked for a gift of the money and had built a friendly relationship with me in the past, I likely would have GIVEN her the money she needed as a gift. But she asked for a loan and PROMISED to pay me back. She broke that promise.
In the end she is seen as a victim by our family and I was seen as the greedy rich person who does not share my wealth.
BTY: I am not rich and have suffered many financial set back in the past but are doing fine today.
this type of crap you took from your family would make me sue your sister. if they want to make her to be the victim, may as well do it right.
if they want to help her out, let them loan her the money to pay you back.
my mom's bf is in a similar situation. there is one sister that is always getting money from the mother and she took borrowed something like 30k from him under the idea that it was for her son's college. it was just a con job, im sure she took it and gave the kid a fee. she never paid anything of it back.
your sister not only takes advantage of you, but she takes pleasure and pride in thinking to herself that she conned you out of money. but she is really an idiot because she is only capable of conning family members, not strangers. when the family was defending her, she was listening and laughing to herself about how she has managed to successfully take your money and convince others that you are wrong for expecting it back.
I've lent money to a family member before who was unemployed and hardly looking for work. Never got paid back, I was 16 at the time so it was basically all I had.
No longer will I/do I lend money unless said relative is genuinely working hard/looking to find work. I have a few family members who I know would never fit this description.
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