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In some states, if you hold yourselves out as husband and wife you have a common law marriage. So if you truly don't want to be married and your state is one that recognizes common law marriages, you shouldn't hold yourselves out as husband and wife.
I must have said it in another thread of mine, but I'm aware of the common law thing. My state (California) doesn't acknowledge that.
Where we live, my husband purchased the house in his name ONLY. But I still have to be there in closing to sign papers. I actually told him, why? My name is not on the mortgage? Bizarre.
I don't pay a share on the mortgage anyway. But when we were bickering I told him get out of MY house. He laughed and I said why? Coz it is ONLY your house? He stopped laughing. Ugh.
In my state (Virginia), I bought the house myself. My husband was not involved in the transaction at all. He didn't sign a single piece of paper. In fact, he wasn't at the closing. He, of course, selected the house with me; but the mortgage and deed is in my name only.
(at the time, he had just finished law school and didn't have immediate income. And he already owned a home that we planned to keep.)
1. Your wages can be kept separate. The loan repayment can strictly be paid from the person who has the loan. Your name won't go on the loan the other person has. Unless you refi and get the loan under both names. My buddy had 40k in student loans, when he got married his wife had nothing to do with his loans repayment
2. Your current health insurance won't change. You simply don't add the other overs on to your policy. My wife is retired and I'm still working and she's on my health ins. Her Medicare picks up what my insurance doesn't.
When we got married we united everything. Neither of us had debt but what we did have we paid off together
The insurance we put each other on our respective policies.
My advice to you is don't get married. It sounds like you're more worried about your finances and possibly having to pay off the other persons debt and paying for their health insurance.
She may have nothing directly to do with the payment but if he's on income repayment and they file together her income will be counted.
Also indirectly the money he's paying towards loan isn't available for joint savings, spending etc.
This seems to be the best section to post this. I'm engaged, but have a couple of questions re: debt & health insurance:
1) One person has a lot of debt (about $85K in student loans, another $25K credit cards). The other has NO debt. If we marry, the one w/ debt doesn't want the other's salary tied into this to determine loan repayment. If we marry, it automatically would & there's no way around it, correct?
2) Both of us have a health issue or two, in which it more than likely won't improve as we age (most health issues don't). The one w/ more health probs gets govt assistance due to not making much on the job. How would our current health insurance change if we marry. What if one person doesn't want to be under the other's job's health ins. OR what if that person's job won't cover it all? Who can anonymously answer questions about this kind of thing?
Any other input, comments, links, etc. related to these topics? I don't know who to turn to w/ these kinds of questions. TIA.
1. Not necessarily...in CA, there is something called sole and separate property. I ran into it at the bank often, when working with people who were marrying for the second time, had their own children and didn't want to co-mingle funds. They had trusts set up. You might want to see a lawyer on this.
If I recall correctly, and it didn't have to be at the same bank, but there had to be a his, hers and joint accounts.
And it's best, in my opinion, if this is talked about and planned. While it seems perfectly fine to splits costs down the middle, if the person with the debt has a smaller income, halfsies will financially cripple them. Also, since you're also older newlyweds...get serious about retirement funding.
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