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Okay, so I have to ask: How do you feel about how you were raised now that you have perspective?
This is pretty much how we're raising the kids. They each have just ONE pair of shoes (other sizes, that we get freely, are stored for future years) and currently they don't own any articles of clothing that weren't free or bought second-hand.. using a 30% off coupon..
They aren't in any activities.. they go outside pretty regularly though... nearly every weekend there is a kid or two spending the night...
My income is reduced until probably the fall so we recently stopped going out to eat except for maybe Subway every other week.
We do live in a condo, but it's 4 bedrooms and our patio is larger than many yards of single family homes at our price range in the neighborhood...
On the other hand: We've paid off our mortgage. We save between 60-82% of our paycheck. More than max out our retirement accounts and we're planning to spend 3 weeks in Europe at some point in the coming years.
Our kids know all this. They know we're mortgage free. They know we'll be crossing the double comma threshold in the next year or so. They know I refuse to buy them stuff new unless we've completely exhausted finding it used or free. Interestingly though... each of them were given a $100 gift card for a real store targeted towards youth last Christmas and neither of them will use it. They each like the thrift shops more and have asked me to trade for cash.
I'm just curious how they're going to feel about all of this as they get older. I'm pretty optimistic that they'll appreciate it. We tell them all the time that we're building family wealth and they'll always be family.
They'll appreciate it and be the better for their upbringing. So much is thrown away and why not recycle and use other's GOOD STUFF. I am and I was raised after great depression with blue collar working father...mother stayed home as MOST did back then, raising the children.
Too many TODAY especially are born with that silver spoon and have no CLUE about helping others. I'm thinking of the person in our white house.
growing up, I always knew we were not so well off. My mother worked at a sweat shop and paid piecemeal for articles of clothing which she made as a seamstress in NYC. This was in the 70s before offshore manufacturing put those crooks out of business.
My father worked as a mechanic in a local shop and yet, when I got older I learned there were others who had even less than me.
My parents owned our house where the others struggled to pay rent in an apartment.
I thought we were poor too. In spite of living in a 3500 sq ft custom built home.
Cause we also were told we were poor. And yet we were going on vacation every year for a month etc.
My parents didn't buy BS. Yeah we had one of the first color TV's. Dad said we weren't getting one so don't ask. My brother and I said we are never home to watch TV who cares. Dad wanted one.
I also had limited clothing. Went to private school, had a uniform. I swear I don't remember having a wide selection of clothing to wear other than the uniform. But I'm sure I wasn't wearing that on the weekends.
And I had my own car dad bought and paid for gas etc. This was mostly cause he was tired of hauling me around. He told me you are getting your license on your 16th birthday. Oh yeah dad that will be rough!
But when I turned 21. The fun was OVER. Never got another dime till he died. Then I did OK.
My parents were young adults during the depression. Mom died when I was a kid so think the poor was more a lack of motherly love.
I was about 6 when I noticed that there were poor people in the neighborhood. I'm talking really poor. Then I started to realize that some families had things that we didn't. We were doing better than at least 60% of them, so somewhere in the middle class. I'm just not sure where.
We lived like we were poorish. We grew a lot of our own food and canned it in the fall. We almost never ate out or ordered pizza, did not take vacations other than visiting relatives or once in a while camping, clothing, bikes, etc were handed off from one sibling to another. However one day in high school some people were braggin about how much their Dad's made, and I realized my Dad made a bit more. Not a lot more, their dads were making int he $50,000s and I had just learned my dad made about $62,000 or $67,000 which was pretty good for 1980 I guess. Now sure why we lived like we were poorer, might have been mom's garage sale/hoarding obsession.
OMG! $67,000 in 1980! pretty good?!? That was more than I made when I retired a few years ago as a teacher, with thirty plus years of experience and a Master's degree and fifty plus post-master's degree credits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
That's about $200K in 2017 dollars. The Federal income tax brackets then were ugly. A big chunk of that would have been in the 49% tax bracket.
Now, to my childhood. I grew up poor and I knew that I was poor. But, we lived on a farm so we always had milk, meat, eggs, chickens, apples & garden vegetables to eat.
For all of you who remember eating out once a month or once a year as showing that you were lower income, sheesh, to me that is/was living like Donald Trump or Queen Elizabeth.
I am 65 and I can remember and tell you exactly what I ate and who was there and who paid for the food the three times that I ate at a diner/drive-in in my first 16/17 years of life (until I was in HS and had a job away from the farm). BTW, out of those three times, one time it was a glass of chocolate milk and another time it was a small root beer. For children and teens who think it is typical/common/usual to eat at fast food places or restaurants multiple times a month (or week) my tale must be astounding.
Okay, so I have to ask: How do you feel about how you were raised now that you have perspective?
This is pretty much how we're raising the kids. They each have just ONE pair of shoes (other sizes, that we get freely, are stored for future years) and currently they don't own any articles of clothing that weren't free or bought second-hand.. using a 30% off coupon..
They aren't in any activities.. they go outside pretty regularly though... nearly every weekend there is a kid or two spending the night...
My income is reduced until probably the fall so we recently stopped going out to eat except for maybe Subway every other week.
We do live in a condo, but it's 4 bedrooms and our patio is larger than many yards of single family homes at our price range in the neighborhood...
On the other hand: We've paid off our mortgage. We save between 60-82% of our paycheck. More than max out our retirement accounts and we're planning to spend 3 weeks in Europe at some point in the coming years.
Our kids know all this. They know we're mortgage free. They know we'll be crossing the double comma threshold in the next year or so. They know I refuse to buy them stuff new unless we've completely exhausted finding it used or free. Interestingly though... each of them were given a $100 gift card for a real store targeted towards youth last Christmas and neither of them will use it. They each like the thrift shops more and have asked me to trade for cash.
I'm just curious how they're going to feel about all of this as they get older. I'm pretty optimistic that they'll appreciate it. We tell them all the time that we're building family wealth and they'll always be family.
Well, depends on how old they are now? Are they teenagers already? If so and they are okay with it, they will be later on.
If they aren't teenagers yet and in puberty, there may come the time where they want cooler clothes to fit in. I would grant those wishes to a certain degree. Teenage years are important.
I would have rather had less vacations but better clothes. I have been bullied for being ugly. Nice clothes would have helped me have a less horrible time in school. I sort of understand my parents point but they partially ruined my life. Teenage years form your character, and I feel damaged. I do not like looking back and I hardly remember all the vacations we went to. I do, however, remember the bullying in school for having ridiculous clothes and ugly hair.
Well, depends on how old they are now? Are they teenagers already? If so and they are okay with it, they will be later on.
If they aren't teenagers yet and in puberty, there may come the time where they want cooler clothes to fit in. I would grant those wishes to a certain degree. Teenage years are important.
I would have rather had less vacations but better clothes. I have been bullied for being ugly. Nice clothes would have helped me have a less horrible time in school. I sort of understand my parents point but they partially ruined my life. Teenage years form your character, and I feel damaged. I do not like looking back and I hardly remember all the vacations we went to. I do, however, remember the bullying in school for having ridiculous clothes and ugly hair.
I'm sorry you were bullied for clothing. Sounds like hell. I flew/traveled a lot as a teenager with my parents too. Some of the experiences were nice, but honestly, I don't feel it substantially affected my character development. It was more about fulfilling a need for novelty and sensory gratification. In fact, I still feel the same way as an adult and it's one of the reasons why I restrict travel. I'd rather read a really great book about a place.
The kids are getting closer to their 14th and 11th birthdays. I think it helps that they're boys. My older son is on the spectrum and I think he identifies his social troubles as having more to do with that than how he looks (although like most kids his age he definitely preens a bit each morning before catching the bus!). My younger son seems to be gifted in interpersonal communication. He has a particularly strong social confidence that allows him to go up to just about anyone and talk to them... including our state governor and a state senator that lives here in the neighborhood (or so he says...). I'm surprised that he doesn't care more about what he's wearing, but he seems to understand how the world works in crude form. I think he takes pride in knowing that we're almost "secret" millionaires. At least he asks about it pretty frequently.
We will see. I'm pushing boundaries, but I'm flexible. I find if I keep my eyes open and my mouth shut it's better. They don't pick up on the anxiety and doubt that way.
i remember at one point when i was a kid my dad told me that he made more money than every other kid's father in my class combined. i dont remember exactly when that was (probably 1st-3rd gradeish) but that line is one i havent forgotten.
i remember at one point when i was a kid my dad told me that he made more money than every other kid's father in my class combined. i dont remember exactly when that was (probably 1st-3rd gradeish) but that line is one i havent forgotten.
No comments so far?
I am straching my head to understand what that even means.
assuming a median wage of 50K (nowadays)X30 students, that is 1.500MM in today's market.
and this cannot be in a high cost area as everybody else' income is higher.
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