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It sounds to my non-expert ears as if she's judgement-proof. In which case the simplest thing to do is probably to stop making payment on the credit cards and use that money to pay her essential bills. Yes, it will trash her credit, but there's no way out of her current bind that won't do that. (Well, except for YOU paying her bills, which is no doubt what she hoped you'd do.)
That's what I thought too.
Well, anyway, now she says everything will be just fine and she is not worried.
She showed no interest in hearing the advice we had for her, which would have been to stop paying the credit cards (essentially).
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She has about 12K in credit card debt, and her income only covers her basic expenses.
She is not being totally forthcoming, some of the things she has said in the past do not equal her current situation, and when I touched upon some things lightly her answers made no sense from a numbers point of view. But I try and stay away from that and just deal with the numbers at hand.
She has one credit card at 15% with a decent credit line available, and then for some reason opened cards at 25% and higher. Apparently, she spent all the equity from the reverse mortgage in 6 years.
As bad as it is, her only option is to not pay the credit cards. I will advise her to pay the one at 15% interest and keep that one for emergencies.
I showed her areas where she can cut her monthly expenses, offered to take her food shopping on a regular basis, will offer her some money to cover some immediate expenses, told her I would get back with the plan in 3 days, and I did, but she says she needs a few more days because she is not feeling well.
Based upon the numbers she gave me, we can get her monthly expenses a couple hundred below her income, which gives some room for expenses like the dog. She also needs dental work, and I suggested a dental college. She did not like a lot of the options, and I told her she is an adult and makes her own decisions, I was just there to provide her with options that she may not have thought of.
I'm pretty sure she was hoping we would just give her a bunch of money, but we are not in a position to do that right now, and she doesn't really have that relationship with her son.
Apparently this is not the first time she has been in this situation.
Okay I"m half way thru this but i will add something now.
First you asked about Welfare or food stamps, there is no welfare is she is getting SS. If she loses her condo or if the HOA fees or other costs are too high she may be able to just give it ups since you said she lost the equity in it anyway and apply for senior HUD housing or section 8,
She can get Medicaid and may qualify for Food Stamps, she may even be able to apply online it depends on her income from SS and the reverse mortgage. The amount may vary by state but I think it's something like $16k but may be as low as $12k a year not sure.
The Medicaid will help, they may be able to pay her Medicare copays and deductibles and even the part taken out from her monthly SS. Dental is included but many private dentists don't accept it so she may have to find a family clinic or county clinic.
Food stamps depends on how much her expenses are, i think if you have like 30% left they won't give you much. So if you get $1000 a month and total expenses for rent/mortgage and electric is $700 or less she may not qualify and they don't consider Credit card debts as expenses, only living expenses.
If she can file for bankruptcy it will reset her, she's gonna ruin her credit regardless. What she may be able to do otherwise is keep the 15% card and if it has a balance to transfer it to the cards she doesn't plan on using. If she can get bankruptcy and reset herself and she gets Medicaid she can only keep a few grand in the account. But if you help budget her money and she has more you can hold the cash for her or she can put it in a security deposit box.
If she has a 2 bedroom condo maybe she can find another old grouchy woman to be her roommate and pay her $500 or so whatever the going rate is in your area.
Also call the credit card companies on a 3 way and tell them to see if they can freeze the account with 0% and she will pay it back or she can no longer pay them anything. Maybe they have a predefualt department like a cable company has a retention clerk when you want to cancel that can lower your rate.
If she has a 2 bedroom condo maybe she can find another old grouchy woman to be her roommate and pay her $500 or so whatever the going rate is in your area.
Also call the credit card companies on a 3 way and tell them to see if they can freeze the account with 0% and she will pay it back or she can no longer pay them anything.
A roommate is a great idea and that will never, ever happen. She is very intolerant, and basically likes no one.
Don't get me wrong... I will suggest it if she shows an interest in advice.
My husband told me not to waste any more time on this. I've been through similar with my Mom.
Not sure how we both ended up with entitled, difficult, unreasonable Moms, but it is what it is.
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A roommate is a great idea and that will never, ever happen. She is very intolerant, and basically likes no one.
Don't get me wrong... I will suggest it if she shows an interest in advice.
My husband told me not to waste any more time on this. I've been through similar with my Mom.
Not sure how we both ended up with entitled, difficult, unreasonable Moms, but it is what it is.
Your husband is a wise man. She’s going to do what she wants to do regardless. Just don’t let her drag you under with her emotionally or financially. She created her problems and now she has to live with them.
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