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All around me are people that I know or talk too such as neighbors who are hurting. Unemployed, slow at their business, living from paycheck to paycheck. Some have asked to borrow money and I do get that. Here is the problem. They are still taking vacation, buying crap, and not saving.
I would like to say to them if you can save instead of that trip to disney, instead of that massage, instead of that flat screen things would not be as bad. Now I do get that some have it more difficult than others but to them YOU NEED TO SAVE!!!
Funny.
My aunt tells me that she pulled $3600 against her '96 4Runner (title loan, I suppose) to pay off Chase (That Peter and Paul thing, I guess...something about robbing each other) and the 45-year old AC up in the attic with the rusted drip pan leaked through and sogged out a sizable chunk of ceiling right onto a $10,000 floor that warped a smidge. Ooopsie.
Now, that $3600 and $900 more to be found somewhere go to replacing that AC.
My aunt: "I wish they had replaced the AC before we bought the house..." It easy to blame "they".
Me to self: "Not trusting the seller's 'inspection' would have saved you $4500..plus all the unexpected stuff this unbeknownst fixer-upper has turned out for you that has put you $35,000 in the hole!"
To mourn, we (actually, they) welcomed in a $1200 tractor mower today. You know, because spending $90 on three belts I prescribed for the tractor already in the garage was too much to ask.
I guess that "I wish Congress would do something about credit card companies!" mantra from my aunt went by the wayside.
Wow, it's really interesting living with fools who also play the victim card so well. I hope they realize that this arrangement during my last semester for rent and "help" doesn't involve my wallet playing the part of a money printing press at all.
Last edited by AlfredB1979; 10-18-2009 at 09:07 PM..
There are way to many people in America today that are so shocked by the current hard time they are in 110% denial that anything is wrong. They live like nothing is wrong because they mentally can't deal with the sour economy.
For these people the end of the day will be a bitter pill when life as it is comes to get them. I'd suspect that in the near term America's crime & suicide rate will skyrocket driven by desperate people finally at wit's end.
this is so true!! I have a brother in law who ownes a business, its was so successful and he was blowing BIG money left and right! Now business is at a crawl and he is still going!
I have a couple , not just one but TWO on unemployment they are freinds of mine. I went over there and bought them 250 dollars in groceries. They are both out of work, one worked for 12 years at one corp. the other 8! So this is a bad time. SHe is changing careers and going to school, they both collect unemployment and he is doing some side work here and there off the books but they have a big nut to crack, esp. 2 kids and a lifestyle that was just 2 years ago alot of money. Well I bring the groceries and guess what.... HE BOUGHT 2 NEW FLAT SCREEN TVS!!! I was so shocked! Here I am the fool worried about them buying the food and he could care less~!
My aunt tells me that she pulled $3600 against her '96 4Runner (title loan, I suppose) to pay off Chase (That Peter and Paul thing, I guess...something about robbing each other) and the 45-year old AC up in the attic with the rusted drip pan leaked through and sogged out a sizable chunk of ceiling right onto a $10,000 floor that warped a smidge. Ooopsie.
Now, that $3600 and $900 more to be found somewhere go to replacing that AC.
My aunt: "I wish they had replaced the AC before we bought the house..." It easy to blame "they".
Me to self: "Not trusting the seller's 'inspection' would have saved you $4500..plus all the unexpected stuff this unbeknownst fixer-upper has turned out for you that has put you $35,000 in the hole!"
To mourn, we (actually, they) welcomed in a $1200 tractor mower today. You know, because spending $90 on three belts I prescribed for the tractor already in the garage was too much to ask.
I guess that "I wish Congress would do something about credit card companies!" mantra from my aunt went by the wayside.
Wow, it's really interesting living with fools who also play the victim card so well. I hope they realize that this arrangement during my last semester for rent and "help" doesn't involve my wallet playing the part of a money printing press at all.
Ignore, deny, boy I see so much of that. But the people I know beside myself...... saving is not a word they want to hear! Its getting crazy to me, the amount of denial I do see. It actually makes me want to save all my money!
I think it's a little risky to lecture other people about their finances, because I suspect it ends up inviting trouble. When so many people are struggling, I consider it bad form to position myself as if I have all the answers. The fact is, I've made some smart decisions and some stupid decisions, I've worked hard and also slacked off, but mostly I've been extremely lucky. It could have worked out very differently for me.
My husband and I are in a really good place financially, but we haven't shared the reality of the situation with anybody, especially not our families. They may suspect that things are going well for us, because we've been gifting various family members with plane tickets on a fairly regular basis, but they haven't really asked, and we haven't volunteered much information. If it comes up, I typically just shrug and say, "Well, we recently received a little windfall, and we couldn't think of a better way to spend it than to fly you out." It satisfies their curiosity without inviting any more questions. What they don't know won't hurt them.
I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that if you're doing well, be grateful, be generous, and be quiet, because if you start playing expert and doling out advice, you might just find that you've painted a giant target right in the middle of your wallet.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 10-19-2009 at 08:57 AM..
I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that if you're doing well, just be grateful and keep it to yourself, because if you start playing expert and doling out advice, you might just find that you've painted a giant target right in the middle of your wallet.
Pretty much dead on, though not always with your wallet...people usually just like to scream. People have asked my for advice in the past (I never jump in without being asked), having a bit of knowledge with an MBA in finance and I have been doing for the ungodly amount of time. What I found is unless I tell them what they want to hear I either get one of two responses, "Well, you obviously don't know anything" or "[I would probably get banned for it]"...so I have stopped. I've found pretty much only 2 of the people I have known in the last 5 years wanted real advice, the rest want justification for what they are doing or another way to afford what they want. It's kind of sad, but on the other hand it often makes it easier to say no with that experience.
I found this playing around this morning as well, though it was interesting. Good advice to take care of yourself first before helping anyone else who got themselves into trouble.
Eh, it's human nature to want validation, which is why I usually avoid money conversations like the plague. We only want to hear what we want to hear, me included!
I think it's a little risky to lecture other people about their finances, because I suspect it ends up inviting trouble. When so many people are struggling, I consider it bad form to position myself as if I have all the answers. The fact is, I've made some smart decisions and some stupid decisions, I've worked hard and also slacked off, but mostly I've been extremely lucky. It could have worked out very differently for me.
My husband and I are in a really good place financially, but we haven't shared the reality of the situation with anybody, especially not our families. They may suspect that things are going well for us, because we've been gifting various family members with plane tickets on a fairly regular basis, but they haven't really asked, and we haven't volunteered much information. If it comes up, I typically just shrug and say, "Well, we recently received a little windfall, and we couldn't think of a better way to spend it than to fly you out." It satisfies their curiosity without inviting any more questions. What they don't know won't hurt them.
I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that if you're doing well, be grateful, be generous, and be quiet, because if you start playing expert and doling out advice, you might just find that you've painted a giant target right in the middle of your wallet.
Be generous to who is the question?? I have people I know who are hurting because they put themselves there, those are the ones who are asking for money. The ones who on unemployment go and buy two flat screens. Do I be generous to them? How do you judge? I feel bad , I say sorry but careless spending like mad and I have to feel guilty. This is the point I am making. I get helping people down on their luck, but what about the people in my life who want to loan money for really terrible decisions. I have a step brother in law who wanted me to loan him alot of money so he could buy a new home. Meanwhile he has not even sold him home now. This is a true story. People need to save for hard times!
I'm not saying that you should give money away to those people you think are being irresponsible, but generosity has a way of fostering gratitude in the giver, at least it always has for me. When I choose to give, I usually do it anonymously or through a trusted third party who promises to keep my identity secret (e.g., my pastor). Not everyone who is having a hard time qualifies as a deadbeat. Sometimes people are just unprepared for a worst case scenario, and we've had quite a few of those recently. Look around, I'm sure there is at least one worthy recipient in your life that would be appreciative of a little assistance. You might be surprised at how good it feels to come to the rescue.
I'm not saying that you should give money away to those people you think are being irresponsible, but generosity has a way of fostering gratitude in the giver, at least it always has for me. When I choose to give, I usually do it anonymously or through a trusted third party who promises to keep my identity secret (e.g., my pastor). Not everyone who is having a hard time qualifies as a deadbeat. Sometimes people are just unprepared for a worst case scenario, and we've had quite a few of those recently. Look around, I'm sure there is at least one worthy recipient in your life that would be appreciative of a little assistance. You might be surprised at how good it feels to come to the rescue.
I agree and have done it many times! Good post and point
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I hope they realize that this arrangement during my last semester for rent and "help" doesn't involve my wallet playing the part of a money printing press at all.
