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All around me are people that I know or talk too such as neighbors who are hurting. Unemployed, slow at their business, living from paycheck to paycheck. Some have asked to borrow money and I do get that. Here is the problem. They are still taking vacation, buying crap, and not saving.
I would like to say to them if you can save instead of that trip to disney, instead of that massage, instead of that flat screen things would not be as bad. Now I do get that some have it more difficult than others but to them YOU NEED TO SAVE!!!
First of all, I find it unlikely that you're getting the whole story. Nonetheless, it's not your place to berate them, or, God forbid, rescue them from bad decisions. Just smile sympathetically and say, "I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting. I hope things get better for you soon." Most people, and I include myself here, need to learn lessons the hard way. A hard lesson tends to stick. Fortunately, mine came about two decades ago, so the last few years haven't been quite as devastating as they could have been.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 10-18-2009 at 08:47 AM..
All around me are people that I know or talk too such as neighbors who are hurting. Unemployed, slow at their business, living from paycheck to paycheck. Some have asked to borrow money and I do get that. Here is the problem. They are still taking vacation, buying crap, and not saving.
I would like to say to them if you can save instead of that trip to disney, instead of that massage, instead of that flat screen things would not be as bad. Now I do get that some have it more difficult than others but to them YOU NEED TO SAVE!!!
Vent away. It's safe to do so here. Youl get people who try to make you understand why people don't do so, but I do understand the simple need, in some form, to stand on the rooftops and tell people the unvarnished truth as you see it.
But the sad fact is -- like a previous poster said -- some people have to learn the hard way.
look I have worked along time, and I know people who have worked 25 plus years and have spent alittle and saved alittle. Well over 25 years this built up to a nice cushion! I am not being hard, or judgemental just wishing the close people to me THAT I KNOW would have saved a dime.
Nonetheless, it's not your place to berate them, or, God forbid, rescue them from bad decisions. Just smile sympathetically and say, "I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting. I hope things get better for you soon." Most people, and I include myself here, need to learn lessons the hard way.
That's right, most people do need to learn the hard way, and like you, I include myself in the group. I turned my financial life around about 5 years ago, and when I think about all the time I wasted, well, it sucks. But what is a harder lesson than someone you know telling you like it is? Most folks just want to walk around on egg shells and spare everyones feelings about financial matters, but it's our feelings and emotions that get us into financial trouble most of the time to begin with! If all you are looking for is someone to feel sympathy for you and your situation, and you don't want others telling you you need to change things, than you aren't really serious about fixing the problem, are you?
Improving your finances is like quitting smoking, which I also did 2 years ago after 25 years of puffing away. You will be able to quit only when you are really ready to quit, and not a moment sooner. Like quitting smoking, cleaning up your finances is not nearly as hard to do IF YOU REALLY WANT TO DO IT. And there is no shortage of people getting in other peoples faces about the dangers of smoking, right? Well guess what - terrible financial decisions are just as hazardous to your future as cigarettes are!
Come on people - this is not about making us feel better about ourselves, it's about being honest with ourselves and GETTING SMARTER!
There are people in very family that do the same thing, easier to take "loans" from others then change their lifestyle (which they never pay back). If they save they would actually not be spending as much, and people never learn anything without a painful reminder.
I have 3 specifically that beg every time I see them (and my parents), but have yet to learn for over a decade and a half. It really sucks to be put in the situation to say to them "I never give money to family, ever"...but you pretty much have to or else they will never stop.
All around me are people that I know or talk too such as neighbors who are hurting. Unemployed, slow at their business, living from paycheck to paycheck. Some have asked to borrow money and I do get that. Here is the problem. They are still taking vacation, buying crap, and not saving.
I would like to say to them if you can save instead of that trip to disney, instead of that massage, instead of that flat screen things would not be as bad. Now I do get that some have it more difficult than others but to them YOU NEED TO SAVE!!!
There are way to many people in America today that are so shocked by the current hard time they are in 110% denial that anything is wrong. They live like nothing is wrong because they mentally can't deal with the sour economy.
For these people the end of the day will be a bitter pill when life as it is comes to get them. I'd suspect that in the near term America's crime & suicide rate will skyrocket driven by desperate people finally at wit's end.
Failure is a much better teacher than I could ever be, and a "Come to Jesus" moment most often arises from within. Nothing I say will inspire somebody to change before they are ready.
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