Did you pay your own way through college? (financing, account, income)

[user_id]

Also just to note. To those that graduated a bit ago and were able to consolidate with those low 2~3% rates, please realize this is no longer an option. The rates on new student loans is considerably higher now as is the cost of an education. As a result students today that use loans to pay for college will have a far greater long term financial burden than you.

[dcashley]

Originally Posted by user_id

I think sometimes people tell themselves all these stories about "building character" to make up for the fact that they never saved for their kids education. For some its an issue of pride, they are simply not able to provide much financial assistance. I just wish they'd swallow their pride and just admit they can't afford it instead pretending that they are helping their kids by not giving them anything.

I paid for my own education. Doing did not build character. When I found out what my parents did to try to screw up me getting an edcation I became very angry. Now, after 35 years, I still have not forgiven them. Build character? No way.

[michgc]

I voted wrong. I read the post title and answered "no" and then saw the poll question and my answer should have been "yes." Neither of my parents went to college, but my dad worked hard to save up money for all three of his children to go. He paid the whole way for all three of us. Having my college paid for did not make me not care about how I did. In fact, I refused to miss going to class because I knew my Dad had worked so hard to pay for me to go there. I didn't want to waste his hard-earned dollars! I really appreciated what my parents did for us. All three of us children are planning on fully paying for college (or have already done so) for our children.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by dcashley

I paid for my own education. ...I became very angry. Now, after 35 years, I still have not forgiven them. Build character? No way.

Ugh, so I have to wait beyond death to be forgiven for making my kids pay for their college ... a real tear jerker They have an extra measure of anger b'cuz we put ALL their inheritance in a family foundation available ONLY for charitable causes x2. Life is tough .

To make things worse, they were home schooled and had to build houses from scratch as 9th and 10th graders b'cuz I made them go to college in grades 11 & 12 () (on the state's dime).
By the time they ventured off to college as full juniors at age 18, they each had $70k in equity in their homes and $30k in their ROTH IRA's (which I had matched their earnings $1 for $1 since they were age 12). Thus they had $100k available for funding their own college (if they so desired). I suggested they take out loans and consolidate after graduation. One got a 2.7% rate for 20 yrs, the other is 4% (each are under $20k). Both are bitter beyond belief that we didn't pay for their college. (as you can imagine they never had a Nintendo either)... Ouch, cause for more anger. (+ I made them pay $1 / hour to 'watch the Tube')

Tough cookies...

I worked my way through college, but found an employer that 're-reimbursed' me for 3 of my degrees while I worked full time night shift + 25% overtime (and had to carry a 3.0 minimum GPA+ budget to pay for school books, house payment...). I also had 2 weekend jobs (including an 800 mile truckdriving route through snowy Wyoming). To top off the cake, I had full care responsibilities of a disabled parent (a present from the other parent on my 18th B'day as they went AWOL (with the cash) for the next 30 yrs). I also inherited a few hundred thousand $ of business debt to pay off, and had to close down 7 business operations and a farm. I guess I never had time to develop all this "Anger / Bitterness - Stuff", good thing, as my benevolent company just gave me the 'Adios-option' after 32 yrs of sweat labor, but 6 wks prior to retirement eligibility. . Oh well, life goes on, time for the next chapter (I went back to college, again...., and NO, I'm not the professor, I just look older than they). I probably should have taken a psych major to learn about anger & bitterness

As previously mentioned, "Dairy Farm Boarding School" has a way of building LIFE LONG character.... After being up since 4:30 AM on snowy mornings (7 days/ week) I was so grateful when 7:30AM rolled around and I could ESCAPE to school, I ran down the driveway with my muck boots throwing manure off all the way. Anger / Bitterness, an interesting concept

[user_id]

Originally Posted by michgc

, but my dad worked hard to save up money for all three of his children to go. He paid the whole way for all three of us. Having my college paid for did not make me not care about how I did. In fact, I refused to miss going to class because I knew my Dad had worked so hard to pay for me to go there.

Yeah, there is this erroneous idea that is always stated when this question comes up that suggests that if your parents pay for your college you won't value it and won't work hard. But apparently, taking out a bunch of loans that you don't start to pay off until after graduation builds character.

Its also odd that some consider providing your kid with a college education is on the sale level as buying them a BMW when they turn 16....

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by froggin4colorado

I hear so much about funding your child's education ... how many parents really did set their children up for college?

I chose to set my kids up for LIFE rather than College, tho they each knew college was not optional, AND They were gonna figure out how to pay for it. (Preferably via; scholarships, aid, grants, work, savings, IRA's, equity in their own homes, investing, income properties, gambling, Military, employer, ...) a million choices for them, save one... Parent pay NOT!

Poor babies

[Tallysmom]

Originally Posted by user_id

I think sometimes people tell themselves all these stories about "building character" to make up for the fact that they never saved for their kids education. For some its an issue of pride, they are simply not able to provide much financial assistance. I just wish they'd swallow their pride and just admit they can't afford it instead pretending that they are helping their kids by not giving them anything.

I think if the parents are up front from the beginning about paying or not paying for college, either way is fair. I always knew if I wanted to go to college, it would be a joint venture. It didn't work out that way, but that's life and I don't cry over spilled milk.

What's wrong is holding a kid accountable for good grades and letting her think at the end of that hard work she'll get to go to college, and then pull the rug out from under her at graduation.

Had a friend that happened to, and it turned into a bad afterschool special. Pregnancy, drugs, bad marriages, miscarriages....I think she'd homeless now.

[user_id]

Originally Posted by Tallysmom

I think if the parents are up front from the beginning about paying or not paying for college, either way is fair. I always knew if I wanted to go to college, it would be a joint venture. It didn't work out that way, but that's life and I don't cry over spilled milk.

I really don't think of it has a matter of fairness. When parents that have the means decide not to help their kids in college, I don't think they are being "unfair". Cheap and short sighted perhaps, but not unfair.

I'm just sick of hearing people pretend as if not providing support is actually going to help your kids. I'm also sick of hearing people equating paying for college with spoiling your kids. My parents were rather cheap, if I wanted anything other than food, socks and underwear I had to pay for it. Yet, they did provide money to pay for college.

[charolastra00]

Originally Posted by user_id

I really don't think of it has a matter of fairness. When parents that have the means decide not to help their kids in college, I don't think they are being "unfair". Cheap and short sighted perhaps, but not unfair.

I'm just sick of hearing people pretend as if not providing support is actually going to help your kids. I'm also sick of hearing people equating paying for college with spoiling your kids. My parents were rather cheap, if I wanted anything other than food, socks and underwear I had to pay for it. Yet, they did provide money to pay for college.

I completely agree.

I liked what my family did. They led me to believe through high school that I was on my own. Community college and state school was not an option (there really are no community colleges nearby and the close-by state schools were significantly less challenging than my high school courses) so I worked my tail end off to get the heck out of town. All the work landed me a very significant scholarship to a top private liberal arts school in New England- exactly where I wanted to be. Then it was revealed to me that a family member had a college fund set up for me and that even if I had to pay the full $50K+ a year, the money was there. I plan on doing a similar scheme with my own children. Unfortunately, the whole plan was revealed to my brother and cousins who are younger and therefore the fire under their pants kind of puttered out. I would certainly keep it a secret.

I know how much going to the right school meant to me. Going to community college and then to some large state school locally would have been completely miserable for me. I understand and appreciate working to attain a goal and being aware of the costs of said goal (which is why I appreciated my parents forcing me to go through the initial steps of getting a loan before revealing to me the truth of my situation) but I don't agree with forcing it on principle if the parents/family are financially able to help.

I would have missed out on significant experiences and not gained some of the skills that I have if I had not had help with my financial costs. I was able to study abroad in 3 different countries (and not just sitting in a classroom either- it was experiential learning relevant to my field), become fluent through immersion in a language, take unpaid internships, be a bit more choosy about what paid jobs I took (ie could wait to find an office job rather than jump on the first food-service job I found), and be active in both my university and local community. I couldn't be more thankful for those opportunities given to me. Working 40 hours a week and going to school does not sound like a character building activity- I did it the past semester (between my job and my unpaid internship) and all that happened was my GPA dropping.

If parents or family truly can't help out with college costs, it's one thing, but if they can and don't (which hurts the children in financial aid and makes it even more difficult for them financially) because it "builds character", it simply does not compute to me.

[charolastra00]

Originally Posted by StealthRabbit

I chose to set my kids up for LIFE rather than College, tho they each knew college was not optional, AND They were gonna figure out how to pay for it. (Preferably via; scholarships, aid, grants, work, savings, IRA's, equity in their own homes, investing, income properties, gambling, Military, employer, ...) a million choices for them, save one... Parent pay NOT!

Poor babies

I think your situation is different. Not all parents can help their children build a house at 15. My parents certainly couldn't. You set your children up financially in an even more significant way than paying for college.