Transplant from New York - VERY Homesick please help (Philadelphia: transplants, school)

[gmg12538]

I am from New York, and recently moved down here to PA to be with my fiance (also from NY) She loves it, and while PA does have some nice qualities, I find myself extremely homesick for NY. I don't know what to do, I have an episode almost daily where I get very upset, almost to the point of tears. I have only been down here since August, so I'm trying to give it a fair shot.
We found a nice place in Warrington (very similar to where we grew up in the Hudson Valley region of NY) and am looking forward to getting out of the city (Philly). Anyone from NY out there that can help me?
I appreciate it,
GMG

[EllaGirl]

What do you miss the most?

[gmg12538]

The food, the culture, my family, just the general area..NY really is a special place.. for me.. I don't know many people down here aside from my fiance's friends, and I miss the feeling of the "give you the shirt off my back" neighborly feel I got from being back home in NY.

[maf763]

Homesick for a place (NY) and homesick for family are two different things. There's plenty of great food and culture in Philly (though less so in Warrington). You need to follow some of your own interests, outside of your fiance's friends. Ultimate frisbee, chess, hiking, whatever it is you can find people who enjoy it as well, and you can start to build your own network. Craigslist, Meet-up, even this forum are ways to get connected with people, but it won't happen if you don't do something about it yourself.

[Duderino]

I'm sorry that you feel homesick. It's really a bad feeling to have to live somewhere that you just can't get to feel like home. That said, I really don't think you're as bad off as you may think. I've personally found that Pennsylvanians -- particularly in the Philadelphia area -- aren't really that dissimilar to New Yorkers in attitude. The Delaware Valley is honestly the closest think you'd find to the Hudson Valley outside of New York (just exchange the Hudson for the Schuylkill, haha). Also, since you're going to be living in Bucks County, you should feel right at home with the amount of former New Yorkers that have relocated there. Not to mention, you're less than a two hour drive away from a weekend visit, too!

Hope you feel more at home in the future.

[DITC]

Originally Posted by gmg12538

The food, the culture, my family, just the general area..NY really is a special place.. for me.. I don't know many people down here aside from my fiance's friends, and I miss the feeling of the "give you the shirt off my back" neighborly feel I got from being back home in NY.

Although northeastern cities are practically the same compared to the rest of the country, when you look at Philly, Boston, and New York you realize they are all very DIFFERENT. I can understand where you are coming from, and the vice versa may often happen to someone who grows up in Philly and leaves family to move to NY.

Aside from the silly Times Square garbage, NY's foundation is on ethnic cultures. South Philly has a bit of NY flavor as far as Italian culture/food is concerned. Look between Passyunk and Oregon. Awhile back I went down to Philly for a sporting event and I coulda sworn I was back in the old school 1992 Brooklyn/Bronx days that all NYers miss. Northeast Philly and beyond have a big Jewish population.

Ive always found you get the "shirt off my back" either in the working class city areas or the close knit rural towns. White collar urban and suburban areas tend not to have this type of unity/concern for others no matter what metro area you are in.

[gmg12538]

Thank you for your responses. I think the Doylestown/Bucks county area will be a lot better for me than our current living situation - Germantown. Semi-sketchy. I do realize more and more that I am a 2 1/2 hr drive from home, and can visit more often than not. I just don't want to feel upset all the time and always feel that longing for NY that, for right now, PA cannot suffice. I've been told that time heals everything. I've also been told that NY is a state of mind. Any more input would be more that helpful.
Thanks again,
GMG

[john_starks]

are you missing hudson valley or nyc? 2 different things imo. maybe i misread the post.

i moved from manhattan to center city 3 yrs ago, and it was very different. but i wouldn't go as far as having complete culture shock. then again, i've never lived in germantown. cc is generally more laid back and has some of the amenities that nyc had. but its a northeast city and i feel quite comfortable. it seems like there are plenty of ny & boston transplants. but that's to be expected. there's a lot of back & forth within the northeast cities. maybe you should hang out in old city on the weekends. its like hanging out in new jersey

[toobusytoday]

I agree with maf763, you will need to make an effort to find some activties and friends to make yourself a new PA family. We've moved alot and I've found that jumping into things right away and reaching out is important. We had a party and invited all of our neighbors when we moved to one house. Attending and joining a church or synagogue can really help too.

Growing up, we never lived close to family and as an adult my husband and I have never had family closer then two hours away either so I've always had to create my own "family" from friends. It really does work. I have friends and neighbors that I can count on for anything at all.

Sounds to me gmg, that you are not talking about NYC. I'm not sure why everyone assumes NYC when they hear NY but there's a whole bunch of the state that has nothing to do with the city.

[loose cannon]

You are 3 hrs away versus being 35 hrs across the country. It's not that bad. Visit once or twice a month and in the meantime discover Philly!