Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Who decides whether a dream is "realistic" or not??
Success in life is a combination of luck and effort that has little to do with the "reasonableness" or "nobleness" of one's dreams, anyway. And there are many definitions (and rationalizations) for "success", too.
My basic dream was to be a one-woman man and to have a simple, uncomplicated and comfortable love life, children optional but if present, they would be of course respectful and appreciative kids. A nice life story arc with a comfortable ending. To die surrounding by loved ones. Simple, right? But here I am, in my third relationship and not only will my children not gather 'round when I die, I wouldn't WANT my daughter around managing me. In other words, in terms of my simple / naïve intent, or even in terms of leaving the world a net better place, pretty disappointing. Had to let all those dreams go long ago.
I don't see a way to advise someone starting out on how to have "realistic" dreams that are likely to succeed. Life is too dependent on Other People, too interrelated, and the early decades of one's life far too burdened with inexperience, hormones, hubris and general cluelessness. Perspective and wisdom come too late, in the main, to do one any good ... and I was always an old soul as it was. Your best bet is to just enjoy the ride as best you can, do as well as you know how at any given moment, strive to be loving and just. And let the chips fall where they may ... including in the drain at times.
For example the main characters in movies like The Rookie or Invincible went onto having brief professional athletic careers later in life. Normally, that's not a realistic dream.
On the other hand in the movie Pursuit of Happiness you see another adult male who's trying to sell a medical machine door to door to provide for his little boy lands a job at Wall Street. It seems more realistic.
In another based on true story movie, a teenager girl who loses her arm to shark bite continues to surf and wins title.
I understand these are similar examples but they were the first to come to my mind.
So, if you have ever followed your dreams or tried to follow your dreams, do you think they are/were realistic or not?
Or do you think a dream has to be realistic in order to be happy at the end instead of disappointed?
Here's another example... A single mom from South Dakota working at Wal-Mart having her paintings exhibited at the Metropolitan?
Chance happens to people. People win the lottery. But chances are, you won't get what you want. So in most cases, people will be disappointed when they set unrealistic expectations. In some cases, lady luck will visit them and they'll get their wish. So more chance to be happy if you have a realistic dream.
It depends on how you define "the end." During my 20s, I dreamed of being the next Steven Spielberg. During my 30s, I downgraded that dream to being a well-paid Hollywood screenwriter. For a time, I was frustrated and disappointed that those dreams weren't coming true. It wasn't until I passed 40 that I began to understand myself well enough to know why those dreams were unrealistic: I lacked the drive, temperament, and personality to make those dreams come true, and even if I'd pursued them to the degree I would have had to to make success possible, they still might not have come true, because so much luck is involved in such pursuits. I ended up with the "dull, ordinary" life that so scared me when I was in my 20s: stable job, wonderful wife, family, house in the suburbs, and pets. I'm very happy that I finally understood myself and my motivations, and that I'm now living the life for which I'm best suited. But I had a lot of fun chasing my dreams, writing (unproduced) screenplays and brainstorming with like-minded friends. Now my dreams are more modest and realistic.
It depends on how you define "the end." During my 20s, I dreamed of being the next Steven Spielberg. During my 30s, I downgraded that dream to being a well-paid Hollywood screenwriter. For a time, I was frustrated and disappointed that those dreams weren't coming true. It wasn't until I passed 40 that I began to understand myself well enough to know why those dreams were unrealistic: I lacked the drive, temperament, and personality to make those dreams come true, and even if I'd pursued them to the degree I would have had to to make success possible, they still might not have come true, because so much luck is involved in such pursuits. I ended up with the "dull, ordinary" life that so scared me when I was in my 20s: stable job, wonderful wife, family, house in the suburbs, and pets. I'm very happy that I finally understood myself and my motivations, and that I'm now living the life for which I'm best suited. But I had a lot of fun chasing my dreams, writing (unproduced) screenplays and brainstorming with like-minded friends. Now my dreams are more modest and realistic.
I hoped to be the CEO of some company in my twenties where I would have climbed the ladders from the bottom. But... as I saw people keep passing me up with lesser smarts or better people relations than me I got more and more disgruntled. Now that I am 40 and unemployed with two kids I keep telling myself if I only knew what I know now.
One problem with reaching one's dreams at an early age, is the realization we set out goals too low.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
