Why are Pittsburghers so rude? (Philadelphia, McKeesport: homes, established neighborhood, new construction)

[wood_lake]

Hey folks. I moved here awhile ago from Raleigh so my wife could take a job at a Pittsburgh healthcare company. We love the old gilded age landmarks (Heinz Hall is a favorite) and history Pittsburgh has. We also love all the distinct neighborhoods that have their own feel all over the place (Raleigh only has a little bit of this in small pockets). We are always discovering something new and intriguing things in town.

But one thing that we have noticed is that people here are extremely rude. Not Boston of Philadelphia rude, but darn close. After hearing about how friendly Pittsburghers are we are still taken aback by the way most (not all!) people treat each other around here. For example:

- Driving. This is a well covered topic but I thought I should point it out. People have no regard for one another and lay on their horns. Even behavior that is deemed "courteous" by the locals I found to be extremely passive aggressive.

- Lack of pleasantries. I am used to saying sir, mam, please, thank you, asking how people's day is, good morning, and holding the door open for people. I might get someone to hold the door open once in awhile but thats is about it.

- Service. Wait staff seems pretty apathetic here and cashiers can be downright rude and dismissive. Again, everyone is not like this! We have had stellar service in some places! But it seems that over half the time I can't get people to even crack a smile.

- Lack of racial harmony. Let me just be frank: whites, blacks, and latinos intermingle freely in Raleigh. That does not happen in Pittsburgh. Not only is there tension but we have heard some downright awful things said by the locals that I will not go into detail on.

- Quick to lose their temper. I have seen Pittsburghers start fist fights at concerts and sporting events. This is not the norm where I am from.

I know Pittsburghers get extremely defensive if you question their worldview or have a difference of opinion, and I'm not trying to rile people up. We enjoy our time here in this unique city. It has so much to offer. But I just wanted to get the opinions of others.

[PreservationPioneer]

It may just be that you moved from a Southern city to a Northern city, and are noticing the cultural differences. I think there is more of a culture of hospitality and charm in the South, but that may just be an outdated notion. I also think that you've had some bad experiences that may be out of the norm compared to what many others experience regularly. What I will say is that I have always felt an apathy or indifference among the people here (not everyone, of course). A lot of people just seem not to care about much, or to be tuned out. I don't know if that's singular to Pittsburgh, though.

[wood_lake]

Originally Posted by PreservationPioneer

What I will say is that I have always felt an apathy or indifference among the people here (not everyone, of course). A lot of people just seem not to care about much, or to be tuned out.

Interesting, I hadn't thought about that. Our neighbors are 50/50 on that. Some folks will say hi and others would rather not interact with anyone (including their long time local neighbors so I know it's not just us lol).

Would you say people are less community oriented because of this? We were involved in many community things (volunteering, block parties, even the dreaded HOA) but here people don't seem to care about any of these (well there are no HOA's as far as I can tell and that is a good thing!)

[Tallysmom]

I live in California now, and everything you say is very true out here. Except for the leaning on the horn. We don’t use it much here. And we are also experiencing the red light is for everyone else, not me syndrome. I see people doing things like going around stopped traffic and riding through the red light at least twice a month. I don’t know how we don’t see more accidents.

But the everyday rudeness is abundant everywhere. I think it’s the times we live in, not the area.

[wood_lake]

Originally Posted by Tallysmom

I live in California now, and everything you say is very true out here. Except for the leaning on the horn. We don’t use it much here. And we are also experiencing the red light is for everyone else, not me syndrome. I see people doing things like going around stopped traffic and riding through the red light at least twice a month. I don’t know how we don’t see more accidents.

But the everyday rudeness is abundant everywhere. I think it’s the times we live in, not the area.

My only experience with California was Los Angeles and yes, people were quite rude and also aloof. But it was different in a way, people didn't seem to annoyed by the presence of other people they were just high and mighty.

I travel throughout the Midwest and parts of the South and on average I did not find the same attitudes I have found in Pittsburgh. Again, I'm not trying to bad mouth folks or paint with a broad brush! I just wanted to share my experiences and see what others thought.

[PreservationPioneer]

What neighborhood do you live in? There are definitely neighborhoods with stronger community ties and efforts than others -- we have so many unique neighborhoods (and surrounding towns). It may be that you haven't found your best fit yet. You can move from one side of the city to another, or one local town to another, and have a dramatically different experience. We have struggling neighborhoods with active community groups that are trying to turn things around. I find that inspiring. Here in McKeesport, I volunteer with our preservation society and try to find new owners for vacant historic homes. When I lived in McKees Rocks, the Historical Society was very active in educating and working with the community to instill some local pride (much needed).

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by PreservationPioneer

It may just be that you moved from a Southern city to a Northern city, and are noticing the cultural differences. I think there is more of a culture of hospitality and charm in the South, but that may just be an outdated notion.

The second point is definitely a regional thing. I've been told by Southerners that I talk too fast, while I secretly wish that they'd get to the point. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[eschaton]

Originally Posted by wood_lake

Hey folks. I moved here awhile ago from Raleigh so my wife could take a job at a Pittsburgh healthcare company. We love the old gilded age landmarks (Heinz Hall is a favorite) and history Pittsburgh has. We also love all the distinct neighborhoods that have their own feel all over the place (Raleigh only has a little bit of this in small pockets). We are always discovering something new and intriguing things in town.

But one thing that we have noticed is that people here are extremely rude. Not Boston of Philadelphia rude, but darn close. After hearing about how friendly Pittsburghers are we are still taken aback by the way most (not all!) people treat each other around here. For example:

I'm not from the South, but I'm not from Pittsburgh. I grew up mostly in New England, so arguably I come from an even "ruder" region. My two cents.

Originally Posted by wood_lake

- Driving. This is a well covered topic but I thought I should point it out. People have no regard for one another and lay on their horns. Even behavior that is deemed "courteous" by the locals I found to be extremely passive aggressive.

Compared to what I was used to driving in metro NYC, I don't think Pittsburgh drivers are very aggressive. In contrast, I think they're often overly-cautious when it comes to things like merging, which causes problems.

Originally Posted by wood_lake

- Lack of pleasantries. I am used to saying sir, mam, please, thank you, asking how people's day is, good morning, and holding the door open for people. I might get someone to hold the door open once in awhile but thats is about it.

Before I went to college in Massachusetts, I had no idea people held the door open for one another anywhere. It initially struck me as so odd.

Regardless, I think this is a regional difference. I don't like being called sir - makes me feel old. I don't like it when someone who isn't actually interested in me feigns interest for the sake of appearances. To me this comes across as fake.

Originally Posted by wood_lake

- Service. Wait staff seems pretty apathetic here and cashiers can be downright rude and dismissive. Again, everyone is not like this! We have had stellar service in some places! But it seems that over half the time I can't get people to even crack a smile.

I'd rather have waitstaff be surly and honest than be fake friendly. Usually the baristas in my work building are here for years, and I like asking them what's wrong if they seem down, kvetching about how long it is until friday, etc.

Originally Posted by wood_lake

- Lack of racial harmony. Let me just be frank: whites, blacks, and latinos intermingle freely in Raleigh. That does not happen in Pittsburgh. Not only is there tension but we have heard some downright awful things said by the locals that I will not go into detail on.

You're absolutely right about this one. There's not a lot of cross-racial socialization here compared to what I was used to from elsewhere. And the amount of open racism (not veiled discussion about "those people" like I heard growing up, but outright racial slurs) really shocked me when I moved here.

Originally Posted by wood_lake

- Quick to lose their temper. I have seen Pittsburghers start fist fights at concerts and sporting events. This is not the norm where I am from.

I haven't noticed this personally, but it doesn't surprise me.

Compared to what I was used to before moving here, there were two big differences between Pittsburgh and how I was used to people acting.

1. People here are really, really loud talkers.

2. Pittsburghers do not have a filter. They say whatever is on their mind. Often it's pretty offensive, but they usually don't genuinely mean it to be offensive. The idea of modulating what they say based upon the audience just never occurs to them.

[wood_lake]

Very interesting view points so far and it explains quite a bit.

I partially agree on the "fakeness" thing of the South. Wait staff can be nice to want tips, absolutely. There can be a bit of shade behind that smile sometimes.

But selfless acts like holding the door open for people and saying "excuse me" and "sorry" made me feel good. Plus I just like how people would strike up randomly friendly conversation at dinner or while waiting in line somewhere. I have yet to have that happen to me in Pittsburgh (the conversation part).

Southerners can be quite loud too, but don't have the "tell it like it is" (which would be considered rude) mentality.

[Knepper3]

Ditto to all of the below, I grew up in NJ so Pgh is much better but I also travel a lot south so yes in general I think you will notice maybe not as friendly as there but much better than NJ. As for interacting with other races, I think it's more a matter of established neighborhoods vs southern new construction areas. I don't notice more (or less) racism here, I tend to find down south folks tend to be more vocal about it and north it seems a little more behind doors.


Also I'd say Pgh is overall more working class in some parts.

Originally Posted by eschaton

I'm not from the South, but I'm not from Pittsburgh. I grew up mostly in New England, so arguably I come from an even "ruder" region. My two cents.



Compared to what I was used to driving in metro NYC, I don't think Pittsburgh drivers are very aggressive. In contrast, I think they're often overly-cautious when it comes to things like merging, which causes problems.



Before I went to college in Massachusetts, I had no idea people held the door open for one another anywhere. It initially struck me as so odd.

Regardless, I think this is a regional difference. I don't like being called sir - makes me feel old. I don't like it when someone who isn't actually interested in me feigns interest for the sake of appearances. To me this comes across as fake.



I'd rather have waitstaff be surly and honest than be fake friendly. Usually the baristas in my work building are here for years, and I like asking them what's wrong if they seem down, kvetching about how long it is until friday, etc.



You're absolutely right about this one. There's not a lot of cross-racial socialization here compared to what I was used to from elsewhere. And the amount of open racism (not veiled discussion about "those people" like I heard growing up, but outright racial slurs) really shocked me when I moved here.



I haven't noticed this personally, but it doesn't surprise me.

Compared to what I was used to before moving here, there were two big differences between Pittsburgh and how I was used to people acting.

1. People here are really, really loud talkers.

2. Pittsburghers do not have a filter. They say whatever is on their mind. Often it's pretty offensive, but they usually don't genuinely mean it to be offensive. The idea of modulating what they say based upon the audience just never occurs to them.