A lot of christians say that they don't approve of the 'gay lifestyle'. What is the gay lifestyle? (military, states)
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Q: A lot of christians say that they don't approve of the 'gay lifestyle'. What is the gay lifestyle?
A: Something they practice on the side, out of sight and behind the curtains.
The problem with this "love the sinner hate the sin" cliche is that people who use it need to believe that homosexuality is a behavioural choice, not an innate part of the person. Just as heterosexuality is innate in straight people.
What I think they really want is for gay people to either live loveless lonely lives without a partner, or to live a complete lie and pretend to be heterosexual. Neither of these options are very healthy.
I think some of these people think that gays and lesbians are just heterosexuals with some sort of an added kink attraction to the same gender as well as to the opposite gender. Perhaps they think gays and lesbians can just turn off their attraction to the same gender and flick a switch to be attracted to the opposite gender.
I think many fail to take into account that most gays and lesbians don't feel any attraction at all for the opposite gender. (i'm not talking about bi-sexuals or when many gay people go through a period when they try to pretend they are heterosexual just to fit in or avoid stigma). They also fail to take into account that science tells us that gays and lesbians have a slightly different brain structure to heterosexuals which may have been set in the womb; react differently to pheromones; and think a little differently to straight people. None of these characteristics were ever a choice and are not something that can be changed by "praying away the gay".
To me, "Love the sinner, hate the sin" is a cowardly way for some Christians to really say "I hate that you are gay" without openly coming out and condemning themselves for hating the person- which is what they are actually doing. NOT "loving" them.
If these people truly "loved" gays and lesbians they would make the effort to find out the facts about homosexuality from reputable sources (not anti-gay religious based websites); study the Bible in its original cultural and linguistic context instead of cherry-picking a handful of verses out of their original context; and actually get to know some gays and lesbians.
I know what you're saying and I can relate to it because I am gay. I know being gay isn't a choice. I know I can't just make myself want to be with the opposite sex or just turn off my feelings for the same sex.
I know it's not ideal, but at least the "hate the sin, love the sinner" folks aren't outwardly showing contempt towards gays. We can't expect everyone to agree with us, but if people are going to disagree with us, the fact that some can still love us as people is pretty valuable to me. I'm just happy they're not trying to kill us or take away our rights.
That said, I have some friends who believe in "hate the sin, love the sinner." They have gotten to know gays, evidenced by the fact we're friends. I don't know if I'm their only gay friend, but at least they have one! That's a start. At least those individuals in particular have made the effort to get to know me and actually grown to like me instead of writing off all gays as perverts--even when they can't step away from their cherry-picked Bible verses.
I appreciate the effort that at least some Christians and people of other faiths try to make in terms of reconciling their religious views and tolerance of homosexuality.
That may work in Sydney but it doesn't in red state America. Around here you have two choices...the gay clubs or online hookup websites, both of which promote promiscuity.
When I was living in Red State America, I had two choices: tell people I'm gay and have no friends and be judged, or don't tell people I'm gay and have friends and be loved (conditionally). The only exceptions were when I managed to figure out the other person I was talking to was gay/bi him/herself. Every gay or bi person I met, I met in the mall during the daytime. One of them worked at the same place as me, three of them worked at the coffee shop, and the other two worked at a survey center. This was in rural Red state America where the vast majority of people considered homosexuality a sin.
I've never even been to a gay club or joined an online hookup site, and I've still managed to meet gay people. The idea that the only way to meet gay people is in spaces where sex is the goal is just pure myth. Gay people shop and walk their dog and go to school just like everyone else, so it's really not that hard to meet gay people in the same spaces that the general population frequents.
When I was living in Red State America, I had two choices: tell people I'm gay and have no friends and be judged, or don't tell people I'm gay and have friends and be loved (conditionally). The only exceptions were when I managed to figure out the other person I was talking to was gay/bi him/herself. Every gay or bi person I met, I met in the mall during the daytime. One of them worked at the same place as me, three of them worked at the coffee shop, and the other two worked at a survey center. This was in rural Red state America where the vast majority of people considered homosexuality a sin.
I've never even been to a gay club or joined an online hookup site, and I've still managed to meet gay people. The idea that the only way to meet gay people is in spaces where sex is the goal is just pure myth. Gay people shop and walk their dog and go to school just like everyone else, so it's really not that hard to meet gay people in the same spaces that the general population frequents.
how the hell do you get OUT of red state america? I'm thinking about teaching english abroad in the czech republic as a way of LEAVING red state america.
how the hell do you get OUT of red state america? I'm thinking about teaching english abroad in the czech republic as a way of LEAVING red state america.
Unfortunately fundamentalist Christianity has infected most of eastern Europe so I doubt it's any better there if not worse.
how the hell do you get OUT of red state america? I'm thinking about teaching english abroad in the czech republic as a way of LEAVING red state america.
If you think America is a "red state" you are due for a real eye opener once you get to Czechoslovakia.
how the hell do you get OUT of red state america? I'm thinking about teaching english abroad in the czech republic as a way of LEAVING red state america.
Moved in with my parents. I know, living with parents, living in Red State America--it's a tough choice. But I ended up going with living with the parents.
I completely forgot to mention a 7th gay/bi person I know who I met at a bus stop and who ended up becoming my roommate. (I can't believe I forgot to mention him earlier! I lived with the guy and he's the only person that had the guts to come up to me and finger spell in my hand when I was deaf-blind. He also knew right off the bat that my wife at the time and I were gay, which led to him telling me he's bi in our very first conversation. )
(BTW including my ex-wife would bring the count to 8 but she moved down from the North so I don't count her as a gay Red-Stater.)
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