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Before we start punishing everyone, why do some people bully others in the first place, especially kids?
When I went to school, there was only minor bullying, no comparison to today. There were mild jokes and fun being made of the only red-haired boy and the only immigrant girl. But that was pretty much it.
Before my parents had me transferred to a good school, I attended an entry-level high school for one year, that was a different story. Lots of peer pressure, violent kids from housing projects, first signs of clan formation, etc.
Glad I got away from there
Some people have a very wide definition of bullying and don't seem to realize that some people will never get along. Also, occasionally being made fun of or having a prank played on you is merely a fact of life. Constantly sheltering people from being offended or made uncomfortable is only going to make them weak and unprepared when they are put in a situation where that does happen. Part of developing social skills involves dealing with pricks and if teacher saves you the second someone makes a crack about your haircut, you are probably going to end up emotionally stunted. It's part of life. From when I was about eight to about fourteen I was fat and I used to stutter until I was about ten. You don't think I got made fun of at all? Of course, I did. But in the long run I'm a better person for it. Being made fun of actually gave me a pretty biting wit and I often turned the tables on my would-be tormentors and it also helped with my ability to empathize with people. When I stopped stutter and lost weight, I didn't treat the kids who didn't any worse. I remembered how I felt when people made fun of me and I didn't wish to be the prick who made someone's life because I found it entertaining.
On the other hand, some forms of bullying do anything, but build character. Continuing harassment and physical assault are only going to make people bitter and insecure. While I regard the occasional insulting quip or fistfight as merely part of growing up, some people get it really bad and often for no good reason. Keep in mind that bullying does not only negatively effect the bullied, but the bully as well. Do you think that someone who went through life preying on other kids with no negative consequences will grow up to be a healthy adult? You think that maybe that person might end up becoming a criminal or might have difficulty maintaining positive relationships as an adult?
So my final stance is that there is a difference between ball-busting and bullying. A little bit of ball-busting or some kids not getting along is one thing, it's another when school children are enacting their own version of Dedovshchina.
But kids today get bullied at school then when they go home they are bullied on the Internet. Parents should watch what their kids do online. Internet bullying is so much worse since it's anonymous and more kids get "brave" and join in when they would not do it face to face at school.
A kid can't fight back with a fist when it is said by someone behind a computer screen.
A parent should educate their kids that there are bullies and weirdos in this world, unfortunately . . . it's a hard conversation to have with a kid because you hate to burst their bubble that the world is a nice place with good people in it.
Then there is the problem of pacifism for those parents who believe in that . . . you don't want to teach your kid to be mean and aggressive . . .it's a difficult issue to broach and to manage . . .
14 year old Jamey Rodameyer, who had posted a youtube video for the It Gets Better project, and has blogged about his bullying and abuse for being gay just committed suicide due to the level of bullying.
Let's here from the so called compassionate "Christians" on this board who claim Jamey chose to be gay so he could be abused, bullied, etc. only to become so depressed he felt the need to kill himself at 14. Nobody chooses to go through that abuse at 14, just so they can call themselves "gay".
Anderson Cooper is doing a special on this, and LGBT kids are statistically the most abused kids in schools, and gay is the most commonly used insult. Teachers also usually let it slide.
Awareness of bullying is the key here to prevent some of this. Parents need to educate their children about this. Some of you are assuming every kid can stand up to a bully. Every kid is different. Some ignore it,walk away, or commit suicide while others like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold....
Before we start punishing everyone, why do some people bully others in the first place, especially kids?
When I went to school, there was only minor bullying, no comparison to today. There were mild jokes and fun being made of the only red-haired boy and the only immigrant girl. But that was pretty much it.
Before my parents had me transferred to a good school, I attended an entry-level high school for one year, that was a different story. Lots of peer pressure, violent kids from housing projects, first signs of clan formation, etc.
Glad I got away from there
Why do kids bully in the first place? It's about establishing dominance. It's an early form of sexual strategy as well. If there was a study of young male bullies and victims with a followup years later I suspect we would find the bullies are MUCH more successful at attracting and forming relationships with women. Of course these are the same guys who will beat the pulp out of women but they will have no problem attracting them. I wish it wasn't this way.
Because bullying is about dominance a solution is for teachers to humiliate bullies in front of other students. Physical punishment (in front of students) would be appropriate as well. Beat them into submission if you will. The goal should be to eliminate the spirit the child has to be a bully in the first place. Confuse the bully, let them know they are not the dominant alphas they think they are.
It's easy to form an opinion when you haven't been a bully or been bullied in 10, 20, 30 plus years. I think it's hard to understand the magnititude of bullies today that have been reaised by a bunch of spoiled, instant gratification Generation Xers (and soon to by Gen Yers). Parents 20 plus years ago had better values and weren't afraid of their kids. They taught their kids good work ethic. Today, many kids are spoiled who graduate high achool and college never having worked a day in their lives. As a result, they are used to getting what they want with no work and now they're raising kids of their own. Poor parents are what lead to bullies who who mock kids who have less than they do. When the bullies are called out, their parents come to defend their precious children. Then they have children. No one over 25 (unless you have childen) understand this new cyber bullying. It's a much different climate today. Same s**t, different generation...but different technology.
It's easy to form an opinion when you haven't been a bully or been bullied in 10, 20, 30 plus years. I think it's hard to understand the magnititude of bullies today that have been reaised by a bunch of spoiled, instant gratification Generation Xers (and soon to by Gen Yers). Parents 20 plus years ago had better values and weren't afraid of their kids. They taught their kids good work ethic. Today, many kids are spoiled who graduate high achool and college never having worked a day in their lives. As a result, they are used to getting what they want with no work and now they're raising kids of their own. Poor parents are what lead to bullies who who mock kids who have less than they do. When the bullies are called out, their parents come to defend their precious children. Then they have children. No one over 25 (unless you have childen) understand this new cyber bullying. It's a much different climate today. Same s**t, different generation...but different technology.
Ever seen footage of "The Little Rascals?" I think that was shot in the 1930's and there were PLENTY of bullies. Bullies are not a new thing.
My father told me when he was growing up in the 1920's, that there were bullies on every street corner in big cities and kids had to fight them off, daily.
I When two kids used fight they either get a suspension or detention, now they just get arrested
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