Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know working outside of the home moms that feel stay at home moms look down on them I would hope the one who helps another, does it because they are a friend, not because they want to rub it in their face at some latter point in time....
I guess that is why some folks do (if given the luxury), hire help.
In any case, I see jealousy on both sides of the aisle. Everyone
thinks the grass is always greener on the other side....
I saw a poll in a parenting magazine once about this issue, and while a majority of the working moms agreed that being a SAHM was an acceptable option, the majority of the SAHMs did not agree that it was OK to be a working mom. I found that sad. I've done both. The big difference IMO is that as a SAHM you have more flexibility than you do as a "working mom". You have to be at work when you have to be at work. Everything else has to be worked around that. Most jobs don't give you the choice to work flextime, despite what you read in all these magazines. Otherwise, it's about the same amount of work, just different types of work.
You sound very defensive for someone who is not taken for granted...
and you seem to have personalized the above statement to apply to
yourself, when I think the poster meant "in general".
I AM very defensive and I AM angry. It is solely because of the idiotic, nasty remarks on this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pollyrobin
Most women today work because they have to, not because they
want to. A woman who works outside the home definitely has it
harder, if she is married and has children - much more than her non working
stay at home counterpart from a task point of view - unless she is a farmer's
wife
I haven't said anything untoward about working women. Whether they want to or have to, I don't care. It is their life.
I thought it was easier when I worked and was a single mother because no one was home during the day to clean up after. When I cleaned at night, it stayed that way because no one could mess it up all day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pollyrobin
From a psychological point of view, I think Stay at Home moms have it
much harder because they are often isolated and become depressed as a result of it.
I do feel isolated at times which is why I am on the phone a lot or hop online here and there. It can be very lonely to be a SAHM even when your kids are at home with you. Now that my children are older I can volunteer my time, which I love doing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pollyrobin
But like I said, no SAH mom or working mom should ever care what
anyone else "thinks". It's simply a waste of energy.
I do agree, logically. Emotionally? Sometimes I do get pissed off when I read mean things on this board. I'm human, what can I say?
I work and always will. I cannot just NOT work, it is not me. The father is not working right now but goes to school right now and has VA benefits so he does not have to work until he is finished with school. He stays with home with her. But he will go back to work eventually...starting January.
I like to have my own money. I like to be able to pay my own bills, to pay for her things, to put money aside for her education. It makes me feel good.
Oh come now Memphis, you know parents don't do any of that stuff! All we do is sit on our arses all day long while the cleaning, laundry, cooking, appointment making, errand running, etc gets done by itself!!!
I saw a poll in a parenting magazine once about this issue, and while a majority of the working moms agreed that being a SAHM was an acceptable option, the majority of the SAHMs did not agree that it was OK to be a working mom. I found that sad. I've done both. The big difference IMO is that as a SAHM you have more flexibility than you do as a "working mom". You have to be at work when you have to be at work. Everything else has to be worked around that. Most jobs don't give you the choice to work flextime, despite what you read in all these magazines. Otherwise, it's about the same amount of work, just different types of work.
I agree with this.
There are benefits and drawbacks to each choice, of course. I, too, think it is sad that SAHMs think WOH is wrong. That makes no sense to me.
lmao........... so now we're going after quantity and tenure?
I think I've said my piece here. No point in continuing.
Ha!
For a verbose man, you sure clammed up quickly! Yes, I'm "going after" quantity and tenure because unless YOU'VE done it, you're talking out of your arse!!
For a verbose man, you sure clammed up quickly! Yes, I'm "going after" quantity and tenure because unless YOU'VE done it, you're talking out of your arse!!
You'll never see me post the ages of my children, or details about their health. Let's just put it that way.
You'd run screaming from the house if you were suddenly dropped into this situation, without growing into it.
And it may well be to dangerous, especially in todays day and age when we have farming equipment that fills that void for plowing fields.
But the point remains, children my grandfathers age did that for hundreds of thousands of years. At at 15 many boys were considered men.
Your saying that children have to be watched 24/7 is simply not true past the age of 3.
I don't know any parents of 4 year olds who don't give their children unsupervised play time of some kind.
But you're propagating a myth, that children have to be watched. The real answer is that they don't have to be watched, and children as young as 7 or 8 should be able to be left at home alone, even babysit their younger siblings so that mothers can work.
The state prevents many mothers from working because they have "latch key" children laws, which force mothers to stay home because of the enormous price of childcare.
What this country needs is less regulation. We are supposed to have a free country. That means that parents should be able to entrust their children at home alone to work, or with neighbors nearby.
The OP seems to believe that women are not working because they don't have to, and that because of that we should have more nanny statism to counter act it. I would argue that many women aren't able to go into the work force because of the nanny statism we have already.
Those who would give up essential liberty for a moments safety, deserve neither.
You have no knowledge of parenting to say the statement in bold. Many states will prosecute a parent for leaving a kid home alone under age 10, and some have laws that have a higher age.
Parents of 4 year olds may not be directly supervising their kid, but they (or their designated replacement, e.g. a babysitter) is generally close at hand, such as in the same building, or the kids are outside and the caregiver is inside. NO four year old is capable of being left home alone, ever. Even a 7 or 8 year old is unlikely to be able to handle any type of emergency, such as a fire, or a stranger at the door.
You'll never see me post the ages of my children, or details about their health. Let's just put it that way.
You'd run screaming from the house if you were suddenly dropped into this situation, without growing into it.
It's not a pissing match here. We all have our crosses to bear and we all have issues unique to our families. Most of us try our hardest to do the best thing for our spouses and our children, SN or not. I have one of each - a NT and a SN child.
What I don't do is think that I know what it is like for other parents and families. It's enough for me to deal with what's on my plate. I deal with my children, their health, my husband and me and our health. We have goals we try to attain and traditions we try to maintain, all within our four little walls.
Why the hell would I care what my neighbor next door does with his wife or family? They are nice people, kids are nice and that's all I need to know. Whether the wife works or not is not any of my business.
I guess I don't get the vitriolic responses here on this thread when most people are trying, in the best way they can, to raise a happy family.
No one is perfect or even close. Not even you sir. I will say that I resent the way you've painted SAHMs without nary a word about SAHDs.
I don't know if you are bitter, angry or just plain mean. I just know I'm glad that I am not so negative in my judgments towards others.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would hope the one who helps another, does it because they are a friend, not because they want to rub it in their face at some latter point in time....
