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Seriously? I'm totally blind and I can tell when people are black or mixed from the texture of their hair and sometimes from the texture of their voice.
She probably never felt his hair but I think it's a myth that all blacks sound black, I work with some who don't sound "black" at all. You would never pick up that they are if you only knew them from phone converstations.
She was not always blind, and as far as her family knew, she never knew, but it's possible she really did. They never actually told her one way or the other, but she loved that kind son-in-law and of all he did the most for her.
She probably never felt his hair but I think it's a myth that all blacks sound black, I work with some who don't sound "black" at all. You would never pick up that they are if you only knew them from phone converstations.
She was not always blind, and as far as her family knew, she never knew, but it's possible she really did. They never actually told her one way or the other, but she loved that kind son-in-law and of all he did the most for her.
Oh I know it's not always, hence why I said "sometimes". I don't really care that much anyway but I thought it was interesting to note. I know a lot of blind and deaf-blind people who can tell most of the time what race someone is. Of course it's never without fail, but that's even true of sighted folks. It's just also a myth that blind people never know what race someone is. I think the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
I'd imagine that sometimes the voice could be a give away. But if you're used to using your hands to 'see' peoples faces I'd imagine it's not hard at all to infer race from it.
At an upscale eatery this week, we saw a beautiful 2 year old biracial child and her two white male parents. The men doted over her. Fed her fries off the kids menu and split time holding her. Aside from her hair being a mess (it happens- think Gloria Reubens) she seemed happy as did they. I've seen several couples like this, white same-sex couple and black or biracial child (black/white but could be black/latino etc). However it doesn point out potentially laxer adoption standards.
"Two dads and she's Black- that could be rough" was my initial thought. Then, I reconsidered, they obviously love her, want her and apparently have the resources and devotion to raise this child appropriately. It's better than her options otherwise likely.
On the east coast- adoptions were usually of Asian girls (until that door got shut) and the occassional South American child. I've seen blondes in traditional chinese garb for 'cultural outings' more than once.
I've also had hospital social workers tell me of arranged adoptions when a white child is promised to a couple and when the kid comes out a bit cafe au lait and mom remembers Dont'A or Marquis, there's been problems. Some parents keep the child. Some parents from really small towns can't take a black child to their enclave (I've been told).
I may adopt some day. I think I'd like the kids to look similar. But in the end it shouldn't matter.
Opinions?
Again this is not baiting- I believe that any kid raised in any home is better than a child raised in a institution.
I suppose you sum it perfectly with this line:
Quote:
"I think I'd like the kids to look similar. But in the end it shouldn't matter."
If you want to keep it a secret, then color would be a necessary factor. Otherwise, it does not matter.
What I want to know is why does it appear that adoptions always seem to work only in one way. It's usually a White couple adopting a Black/African or asian girl. I never see Asian or Black families adopting kids from other races.
Totally untrue. When I was growing up, many of our black neighbors had foster as well as adopted children of other races. If you are referring to some working class or poor blacks, perhaps they could not afford to adopt children of any race. Middle class and upper-class blacks have adopted children from various backgrounds besides their own and it is not as uncommon as you might think based on your own personal observations.
Actually, a number of black veterans of the Vietnam War adoped orphaned Vietnamese children.
From a personal standpoint, members of my husband's family who have adopted children have done so across racial lines and it has never been a problem for them.
Totally untrue. When I was growing up, many of our black neighbors had foster as well as adopted children of other races. If you are referring to some working class or poor blacks, perhaps they could not afford to adopt children of any race. Middle class and upper-class blacks have adopted children from various backgrounds besides their own and it is not as uncommon as you might think based on your own personal observations.
Actually, a number of black veterans of the Vietnam War adoped orphaned Vietnamese children.
From a personal standpoint, members of my husband's family who have adopted children have done so across racial lines and it has never been a problem for them.
From a logistical standpoint it's easier to place a white infant than a non-white infant. I'm not sure there are reports of Black families turning down white infants. It's probably not the most common phenomenon.
This assumes a benefit to waiting to tell a child they're adopted.
Of course there is the woman that sent the adopted Russian kid back alone with a note because he was difficult to deal with. That's not what adoption is, there's a no return policy.
What is the benefit to telling a young child they are adopted?
Not enough to feel awkward and insecure about at age thirteen?
Adoption is already fraught with emotional difficulties for the child who must contend with abandonment and identity issues. I would not add more identity issues to that mix by doing a different race adoption. Same for different religions, IF the religion is a significant aspect of the child's heritage, for example, Christians would be better off adopting Christian born children, same for Jewish or Muslim children and their adoptive families. (If the birthparents do not feel affiliated in any way with a religious heritage, then it doesn't matter.) I think it helps the child to feel that he was at least kept within his spiritual family, so to speak, and it shows respect for the child's heritage. I dislike the pretense that a baby is a blank slate for anyone to write upon whatever they wish, and apparently a lot of adoptees feel the same way.
Because adoption has become so difficult, more people are turning to donor sperm, donor egg, and gestational surrogacy to build their families. While these options also have their downside, there are numerous benefits and I'm glad they are available to people.
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I don't really care that much anyway but I thought it was interesting to note. I know a lot of blind and deaf-blind people who can tell most of the time what race someone is. Of course it's never without fail, but that's even true of sighted folks. It's just also a myth that blind people never know what race someone is. I think the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
