If Jesus was running for president as an independent 3rd party, what would his positions be? (school, Montana)

[badhornet]

Originally Posted by Mircea

Except no one could understand anything he said. He st-st-st--s-s-s-stuttered and sp-sp-sp-s-sp-spit all over people, so Aaron had to speak for him.

All for bible accuracy...

Mircea






Gotta love christian ignorance.

Romans 13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except by God’s appointment,...

Refresh my memory....who is god? Isn't Jesus god when it's Yaheh's turn to be Casper the Friendly Spirit Ghost and then when it's Yahweh's turn to be god, Jesus is Casper the Friendly Spirit Ghost, right?

Or wait, isn't Jesus his own dad? That's how that works right, because, you know, polytheism would be like a step backward.

Anyway, let's rewrite they, uh, infallible scripture of god:

Romans 13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except by Jesus’ appointment,...

So Jesus appointed Hitler. Now why would Jesus do a damn fool thing like that?

Romans 13:1 ...and the authorities that exist have been instituted by God.

You all claim Jesus is god, correct?

So, we can rewrite that as:

Romans 13:1 ...and the authorities that exist have been instituted by Jesus.

So, let's look at this list of 219 Big Brains authorities that were instituted by Jesus. In addition to being Dictators, many were also mass-murderers, and also supported the Great Christian Nation™ (the USA):
Gamal Abdel Nasser
Ahmed Sékou Touré
David Dacko
Modibo Keita
François Tombalbaye
Félix Houphouët-Boigny
Milton Obote
Hastings Kamuzu Banda
Kenneth Kaunda
Houari Boumediene
Modibo Keita
Jean-Bédel Bokassa
Gnassingbé Eyadéma
Omar Bongo
Moussa Traoré
Francisco Macías Nguema
Gaafar Nimeiry
Mohamed Siad Barre
Anwar Sadat
Idi Amin
Mengistu Haile Mariam
Olusegun Obasanjo
Jean-Baptiste Bagaza
Albert René
Daniel arap Moi
Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo
José Eduardo dos Santos
João Bernardo Vieira
Samuel K. Doe
Robert Mugabe
Jerry Rawlings
André Kolingba
Hosni Mubarak
Paul Biya
Hissène Habré
Thomas Sankara
Maaouya Ould Sid'Ahmed Taya
Ibrahim Babangida
Zine El Abidine Ben Ali
Omar Hasan Ahmad al-Bashir
Idriss Déby
Sani Abacha
Paul Kagame
Yahya Jammeh
Laurent-Désiré Kabila
Charles G. Taylor
François Bozizé
Ely Ould Mohamed Vall
Agustín de Iturbide
Antonio López de Santa Anna
Porfirio Díaz
Victoriano Huerta
Rafael Carrera
William Walker
Justo Rufino Barrios
Manuel Estrada Cabrera
Maximiliano Hernández Martínez
Jorge Ubico
Tiburcio Carías Andino
Anastasio Somoza García
Carlos Castillo Armas
Oswaldo López Arellano
Anastasio Somoza Debayle
Omar Torrijos
Efraín Ríos Montt
Manuel Noriega
José Gaspar Rodríguez de Francia
Simón Bolívar
Juan Manuel de BullBoxer31
Carlos Antonio López
Manuel Belzu
Francisco Solano López
Mariano Melgarejo
Antonio Guzmán Blanco
Cipriano Castro
Rafael Reyes
Juan Vicente Gómez
Óscar Benavides
Augusto Leguía
Carlos Ibáñez del Campo
Getúlio Vargas
Gabriel Terra
Higinio Morínigo
Manuel Odría
Marcos Pérez Jiménez
Gustavo Rojas Pinilla
Alfredo Stroessner
Humberto Castelo Branco
René Barrientos
Forbes Burnham
Artur da Costa e Silva
Emílio Garrastazu Médici
Hugo Banzer
Juan María Bordaberry
Augusto Pinochet
Ernesto Geisel
Jorge Rafael Videla
João Baptista de Oliveira Figueiredo
Dési Bouterse
Luis García Meza Tejada
Gregorio Conrado Álvarez
Leopoldo Galtieri
Alberto Fujimori
Hugo Chávez
Jean-Jacques Dessalines
Henry Christophe
Pedro Santana
Buenaventura Báez
Ulises Heureaux
Gerardo Machado
Rafael Trujillo
Paul Magloire
Fulgencio Batista
François Duvalier
Fidel Castro
Jean-Claude Duvalier
Eric Gairy
Raoul Cédras
Raul Castro
Abdul Karim Qassem
Abdul Salam Arif
Ahmed Hassan al-Bakr
Hafez al-Assad
Ruhollah Khomeini
Saddam Hussein
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei
Bashar al-Assad
Askar Akayev
Islom Karimov
Saparmurat Niyazov
Muhammed Omar
Ilham Aliyev
Gurbanguly Berdimuhammedow
Ayub Khan
Yahya Khan
Maumoon Abdul Gayoom
Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq
Rahimuddin Khan
Hossain Mohammad Ershad
Pervez Musharraf
Tokugawa Ieyasu
Yuan Shikai
Roman von Ungern-Sternberg
Chiang Kai-Shek
Horloogiyn Choybalsan
Kim Il-sung
Ho Chi Minh
Sukarno
Mao Zedong
Ngô Ðình Diệm
Park Chung Hee
Ne Win
Thanom Kittikachorn
Suharto
Lon Nol
Pol Pot
Chun Doo Hwan
Mahathir bin Mohamad
Khamtai Siphandon
Than Shwe
Kim Jong-il
Sonthi Boonyaratglin
Oliver Cromwell
Maximilien Robespierre
Napoleon Bonaparte
Józef Grzegorz Chłopicki
Charles Louis Napoléon Bonaparte
Romuald Traugutt
Nicholas II
Vladimir Lenin
Mustafa Kemal Atatürk
Benito Mussolini
Miguel Primo de Rivera
Aleksandar Tsankov
Joseph Stalin
Ahmet Bej Zogu
José Mendes Cabeçadas
Gomes da Costa
António Óscar Carmona
Józef Piłsudski
Antanas Smetona
António de Oliveira Salazar
Alexander I
Engelbert Dollfuss
Konstantin Päts
Adolf Hitler
Kimon Georgiev
Tsar Boris III
Kurt Schuschnigg
Kārlis Ulmanis
Ioannis Metaxas
Francisco Franco
Jozef Tiso
Ion Antonescu
Philippe Pétain
Ante Pavelić
Vidkun Quisling
Ferenc Szálasi
(Szálasi Ferenc)
Josip Broz Tito
Enver Hoxha
Mátyás Rákosi
Nikita Khrushchev
Todor Zhivkov
Antonín Novotný
Walter Ulbricht
Leonid Brezhnev
Nicolae Ceauşescu
George Papadopoulos
Marcelo Caetano
Gustáv Husák
Erich Honecker
Phaedon Gizikis
Wojciech Jaruzelski
Yuri Andropov
Konstantin Chernenko
Mikhail Gorbachev
Slobodan Milošević
Alexander Lukashenko
Let's continue shall we?

Romans 13:2 So the person who resists such authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will incur judgment.

We can re-write that as:

Romans 13:2 So the person who resists such authority resists the ordinance of Jesus, and those who resist will incur judgment.

Because, you know, Jesus is god, right?

Okay, so that means people like Harriet Tubman and others who helped Negro slaves resist authority are now burning in Hell for their sins. And poor Oskar Schindler. For helping the Jews and resisting Hitler (a favorite appointed by Jesus), Oskar is burning in Hell.

And you people want to vote for Jesus?

Jesus: Vote for me. I gave you Pol Pot and Stalin. Love me. Love, love me do. Or I'll give you another Hitler to play with.

I hope for your sake's Jesus picks better leaders in Heaven.

Laughing hysterically...

Mircea

You have Hitler in the middle of the list? Racist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ambient]

Originally Posted by nononsenseguy

What makes you think so?

He would definitely hate abortion.
He hates liars.
He hates theft.
He would despise the deception that 'liberals' use and the demagoguery of the left.

Just for starters.

The first is an obvious liberal point that I would concede to you. The other three...how are those unique only to liberals? lol..come on. If Jesus would hate people who do that, then he would hate a good number of liberals and conservatives.

[Fiyero]

Originally Posted by Oildog

Can't imagine he'd be pro choice, or for cutting social services.

Abortion isn't forbidden in Judaism, sometimes it's even required, so not sure what Biblical argument would automatically dictate Jesus would be anti-pro choice. Afterall, most spontaneous abortions are done by God himself.

[Fiyero]

Originally Posted by nononsenseguy

Most people, and sadly even many Christians, do not know enough about what Jesus said or taught to answer the poll, which is stupid in the first place.

Most people think Jesus was some 'warm fuzzy', all sweetness and light pacifist, that just taught that we should all love each other. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Jesus primary mission on earth was to take our sins upon himself, by dying on the cross, and to bring the "good news" of salvation through Faith, so that through that Faith, we can be saved. He said "I am the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me."

Those who have never read the Bible might be surprise to learn that he called the Parisees a "pit of vipers", and that he overturned the tables of the money changers in the temple. Yes, he got angry.

Those he called vipers are today's Fundamentalist Conservatives.

[shpanda]

Jesus would want peace and everyone to be happy.

[dragonborn]

Originally Posted by shpanda

Jesus would want peace and everyone to be happy.

Which often seems like the opposite of what American Christians want!

[stan4]

If Jesus was running for president as an independent 3rd party, what would his position be?

Missionary.

[shpanda]

Originally Posted by dragonborn

Which often seems like the opposite of what American Christians want!

There are many stupid people in the world, including some Christians who misunderstand Jesus Christ, and only listen to the bible which was written by ordinary men. But, not all Christians are like this. Stupid people are always the loudest.

[dragonborn]

Originally Posted by stan4

if jesus was running for president as an independent 3rd party, what would his position be?

missionary.

lmao!!!

[RogueMom]

Oh, Jesus couldn't possibly be anything but Republican. Everybody knows that the Bible teaches that the very best Christians are Republicans. Right? I mean, it does say that somewhere, because, you know, they are the only ones with any moral values and all.