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But I would add I think if children today had a stay at home parent, either the mother or father, many of the problems we have with juvenile crime would disappear. What's the saying? "It takes a village to raise a child." Maybe it really takes to raise a child is a stay at home parent who takes an interest in their kids lives.
Sometimes in today's society I think the thugs, gang bangers on the street corner, and the television have more to say about how children are raised in America than the actual parents do.
It took real bravery to write this---consider this a compliment...
I am certainly not going to say that women should not have a career if they want to. But I think they are fooling themselves if they say that "quality, not quantity" time is what's important when it comes to kids. Something has to give. My wife has stayed at home since we had our children, and it has been a struggle at times and we don't have all the latest gadgets and gizmos. But I get complemented all the time on my kids being well mannered, and I know that her being at home helps them with their development. Most of their friends come from families where both parents work, or the parents are divorced and they live with the mom who works. And they are alone a lot of the time. And they are always telling my kids how lucky they are because their parents are around. And my wife does get looked down upon by many career women because she is "just" a homemaker.
Do we really need "career women" in our society, rather than traditional, normal, regular women who are more apt to take on more traditional roles? Why is it the goal of almost every woman these days to have a career, rather than simply be supportive of a man who acts as head of a household? Can we not acknowledge that there are indeed differences between the genders, and women are better suited for certain tasks than others, many of which differ from those of men?
Working women have destroyed wages, but not today's working women.
The fact is in 2007 women have to work. They made it that way. Since the 1940's, salaries have gone down in proportion to women entering the workforce. Most men simply cannot provide for the entire family by themselves.
What did we accomplish? Nothing, unless of course the goal was to make things better for businesses, which we have done. Now they get two for what should be the price of one.
Meanwhile the kids are screwed up more than ever before.
I am lucky in that my wife does not work right now. We lowered our standard of living, had two children a little more than a year apart, and they're both about to enter school now. Once they do that, she'll get back to work. I was not about to have a day-care worker raise my children.
She doesn't want to work, and I don't want her working. However, with college costs being what they are, and gas at $3 a gallon, we have to do what we have to do.
This is all thanks to those idiots back in the 40's that didn't know how to go back home after the war was over. Thanks girls, for destroying the family unit. Their greed is our burden now.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not so proud that I wouldn't be a "stay at home dad", while my wife works. It's not about the caveman thing. It's about my generation, and all those to come, who are now forced to have two incomes to survive.
But I would add I think if children today had a stay at home parent, either the mother or father, many of the problems we have with juvenile crime would disappear. What's the saying? "It takes a village to raise a child." Maybe it really takes to raise a child is a stay at home parent who takes an interest in their kids lives.
Sometimes in today's society I think the thugs, gang bangers on the street corner, and the television have more to say about how children are raised in America than the actual parents do.
The average child spends four hours a day watching television. Source (broken link)
The average child spends 14.5 minutes a day with a parent, of which only 2 minutes are not spent receiving correction. Source: National Family Institute
I can acknowledge that there is a time and a place for everything. I was a career woman, I owned and operated my own business for 12 years before stopping prior to the birth of our second child a few months ago. I was very successful, and my income assisted my husband and me in putting the down payments for our homes, as well as saving for retirement. It was a team effort then as it is now. Now, I am a stay at home mom. I have taken on a very traditional role as a wife and mother.
I must say, owning and operating my own business was in many ways easier than staying home with two young children. At the very least, I collected a paycheck then. I work even harder now as a SAHM, and earn no monetary compensation. However, I never would have had these babies if I weren't going to be here fulltime to raise them. There is no greater reward than watching your children take their first steps, speak their first words, eat their first bites, etc.
I know that I can start another business any old day. I can earn a paycheck anytime. I can have another whole career when my babies are older. But, I'll never have a second chance at raising my kids. And I wouldn't miss that for all the tea in China!
PS If a "man is the head of a household" just because he is collecting a paycheck, then the title means nothing. What about the women who REALLY run the household? We are the ones cooking, cleaning, rearing kids, paying bills, maintaining the upkeep of the home, etc. I call myself "head of the house hold" as much, if not more than my husband who is off at work all day. I'm the one here keeping the fire burning... To make any home life work and be happy, it has to be a team effort. Luckily my husband and I make a great team, and that's what I think it's all about.
And, yes, most moms are better at raising babies than men are. They are grown and come out of our bodies after all.
Last edited by my2kidsmom; 09-13-2007 at 09:20 PM..
Do we really need "career women" in our society, rather than traditional, normal, regular women who are more apt to take on more traditional roles? Why is it the goal of almost every woman these days to have a career, rather than simply be supportive of a man who acts as head of a household? Can we not acknowledge that there are indeed differences between the genders, and women are better suited for certain tasks than others, many of which differ from those of men?
there has been a creeping distrust between the sexes in my own lifetime of 59 years. i am afraid women must work and there is nothing that can turn back the clock. i want it to be simple but it will never be. too many people have failed to live up to their obligations. from now on i am afraid that women (and probably men) will enter the marriage relationship with a parachute on their back and will stand near the exit door the entire time keeping one hand carefully focused on their career. the kids will be the ones that pay the heaviest price.
alas the loss of garden of eden, perhaps it was just a dream that some of us had, home aka ." leave it to beaver".
stephen s
san diego ca
The average child spends four hours a day watching television. Source
The average child spends 14.5 minutes a day with a parent, of which only 2 minutes are not spent receiving correction. Source: National Family Institute
Wow, I'm shocked at those stats. I happy to say - NOT IN MY HOUSE - TV is limited to 1 hour - some days none - and after homework during the week and on the weekends - the rest of the time is quality time
there has been a creeping distrust between the sexes in my own lifetime of 59 years. i am afraid women must work and there is nothing that can turn back the clock. i want it to be simple but it will never be. too many people have failed to live up to their obligations. from now on i am afraid that women (and probably men) will enter the marriage relationship with a parachute on their back and will stand near the exit door the entire time keeping one hand carefully focused on their career. the kids will be the ones that pay the heaviest price.
alas the loss of garden of eden, perhaps it was just a dream that some of us had, home aka ." leave it to beaver".
stephen s
san diego ca
I agree 100%--(I'm exactly your age)--It was a great and noble ideal, and though none of us actually BELIEVED in "Leave it to Beaver", it was a comfort for a kid to think that somewhere out there, that was the "norm", and that just MAYBE some adults really were decent and "straight-laced" like the Cleavers. No kid really wants "cool" parents.
Now we have brute, in-your-face realism. But boy, what a price we've paid. And kids, as you suggest, will never even know what they MIGHT have at least aspired to.
No more illusions. I think we've lost something very precious, and part of it is our kids' innocence.
Now we have brute, in-your-face realism. But boy, what a price we've paid. And kids, as you suggest, will never even know what they MIGHT have at least aspired to.
No more illusions. I think we've lost something very precious, and part of it is our kids' innocence.
Good post, Stephen....(Bunky)
Well said. I'd give you more rep, but I must spread it around...
Well said. I'd give you more rep, but I must spread it around...
Thanks--just a parting thought--my wife and I are raising our own 3 grandkids (long story there)- and when we first "got" them, 12 years ago, we fed them a steady diet of old VCR tapes left over from years before.
This went on for several years--and the kids absolutely LOVED this stuff---Leave it to Beaver, Bonanza, The Rifleman, Andy Griffith---all HOPELESSLY corny, innocent, and all "old fashioned" even then. Believe it or not, they even loved "Shirley Temple" movies (old and 'sappy' even before MY childhood)- as well as Lassie, etc., etc.,
The point is, these were little kids, and they loved this stuff, identified with it, and asked to see it over and over. I will never be convinced that "Hollywood" makes some of the $#@&^ they make now because "kids" demand it---they make it because they WANT to make it, and the kids "demand" it because that's what they're told they SHOULD like.
Sorry for "going off"....thanks for listening...
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