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I agree with this. I do have a problem with the current sex offender registry, that feels like a witch hunt at times. Why don't we have a murderer registry? I have a big problem with putting people who have consensual sex with a minor over 14 or 15 on the registry for life. There should be rules to who goes on there and for how long, it should need to be proven that this person is likely to be a genuine danger to children to ruin their lives forever when murderers can get out of jail and go on to live normal lives with no registration and restrictions on where they can live, work, etc.
I'm thinking your full of garbage myself. Out of the blue a pedophile joins the forum and stumbles onto this thread? Yeah ok. If you are what you say there is one therapy that will cure you.
I don't think it's out of the blue, I mentioned it on a couple of forums for families of sex offenders...figured that those most affected by the laws..should have the chance to comment ;-)
The big question would be does that 13 year old girl look attractive to the 50 year old man as a child, or in the way he would be attracted to a grown woman. I have seen 13 year old girls who could pass for 16 or 17, and have some womanly qualities, that type of attraction doesn't make one a pedophile, most true pedophiles would NOT be attracted to that 13 year old, they desire children who look like children. Of course that attraction can NEVER be acted upon, then you are doing wrong without question. If have sex with anyone under the age of consent it's a crime.
I understand that most pedophiles were abused themselves and something goes wrong in their brains and they can't help that, but they must not act upon those feelings. They know right from wrong, there is no excuse for doing wrong. I do think someone should be able to admit to pedophile type feelings and seek counseling without being punished as long as they have never acted upon those feelings, and actually hurt a child. Lots of people think about committing various crimes, but we don't punish them unless they actually commit the crime. I don't care what anyone thinks about, but the second they act upon their feelings and commit a crime, they deserve punishment.
Yep, I see it pretty much the same way.
However, I do think there is a difference between crimes based on such feelings and crimes based on rational yet wrong decisions, like for instance robbing a store. I assume thinking and feeling the way a pedophile does is more similar to an addiction, and thus much harder to control, even if the person wants to control himself (or herself, but I am not so sure there are many female pedophiles). Thus the person should not be left alone with their problem and be able to get non-judgmental help before the problem turns into a crime.
Yep, I see it pretty much the same way.
However, I do think there is a difference between crimes based on such feelings and crimes based on rational yet wrong decisions, like for instance robbing a store. I assume thinking and feeling the way a pedophile does is more similar to an addiction, and thus much harder to control, even if the person wants to control himself (or herself, but I am not so sure there are many female pedophiles). Thus the person should not be left alone with their problem and be able to get non-judgmental help before the problem turns into a crime.
I agree it probably is more like an addiction, which makes it all the more necessary they get treatment. That is never an excuse though, most addicts generally only hurt themselves with their behavior, a pedophile who acts on his impulses destroys a child's sense of security for life. People aren't likely to be honest about those feelings, but I bet there are a large number of people who have pedophile type feelings who never act upon them because they care too much to actually hurt a real child.
I guess what it comes down to is: should they be shot/locked away forever, even if it was just one time, or should they be 'rehabilitated?'
Sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated.
In the entire history of human existence on Earth, there isn't even one single bona fide case of sexual offender being rehabilitated.
Why? It's the way their brains are wired.
The first step in the process of rehabilitation is admitting that what you did was wrong. Sexual offenders can never get past the first step, because they don't see what they do as being wrong or immoral or illegal.
I've had to interrogate a number of sex offenders, some rapists, some weeny-waggers, some pedophiles or paraphiles, and such. They will tell you up front that you are the one who is wrong, because you don't enjoy raping or whatever it is that they do.
So how can you possibly rehabilitate someone who sees their actions as "normal" and you are the one who is "abnormal?"
It cannot be done.
I suppose I should point out that not everyone who commits a sex offense is a sexual offender. I'm not talking about "date rape" and other acts of general stupidity.
There is a very clear and distinct difference between a drunk guy who has sex with a drunk girl, and then a guy who intentionally gets a girl drunk, or drugs her, for the express intended purpose of sex.
Those are two different animals. The former is just drunk and stupid, and can be rehabilitated, while the latter is an inherently evil person who is broken and can never be fixed, so it would be in everyone's best interest to have them taken out and shot.
In the entire history of human existence on Earth, there isn't even one single bona fide case of sexual offender being rehabilitated.
Why? It's the way their brains are wired.
The first step in the process of rehabilitation is admitting that what you did was wrong. Sexual offenders can never get past the first step, because they don't see what they do as being wrong or immoral or illegal.
I've had to interrogate a number of sex offenders, some rapists, some weeny-waggers, some pedophiles or paraphiles, and such. They will tell you up front that you are the one who is wrong, because you don't enjoy raping or whatever it is that they do.
So how can you possibly rehabilitate someone who sees their actions as "normal" and you are the one who is "abnormal?"
It cannot be done.
I suppose I should point out that not everyone who commits a sex offense is a sexual offender. I'm not talking about "date rape" and other acts of general stupidity.
There is a very clear and distinct difference between a drunk guy who has sex with a drunk girl, and then a guy who intentionally gets a girl drunk, or drugs her, for the express intended purpose of sex.
Those are two different animals. The former is just drunk and stupid, and can be rehabilitated, while the latter is an inherently evil person who is broken and can never be fixed, so it would be in everyone's best interest to have them taken out and shot.
Delinquently....
Mircea
Date rape is rape, period, the term "date rape" shouldn't even exist. A guy who has intercourse with a girl without her consent, or one who intentionally takes away her ability to consent via drugs, has committed rape. A guy who has sex with a drunk consenting girl has not committed rape. The lines can get blurry when alcohol is involved, but my experience has been a good non rapist man understands the words no and stop no matter how drunk he gets, and is she's too drunk to even communicate, a good man knows better.
Personal forgiveness is not optional for a Christian. If you don't forgive a repentant sinner in this life, you won't be forgiven by God in the next. Consider, too, that Christ forgave his executioners from the cross before there was any sign of repentance, as did St. Stephen the Protomartyr and every martyr since.
That said, some forms child sexual abuse should be punished harshy. I would not oppose execution for child rapists. It's not a question of forgiveness but of protecting society. And I would pray for them, forgive them with God's help, make sure they each had a priest before execution, and give them every opportunity to repent, confess, and go to heaven.
"Why should men love the Church? ... She is tender where they would be hard, and hard where they like to be soft." - T. S. Eliot
Well, I don't know what to think of you Therefore I'll assume you to be the most reasonable person I can think of.
Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt -- many people don't, as you know.
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Presumably, you'd acknowledge that any attraction to younger children that might even remotely be a temporary, emotional, or learned behavior, rather than a biological, permenant behavior, should be discouraged by society.
Of course we're against pedophilic behaviors. I assume you meant pedophilic attractions, and I agree with that too. No one wants to be a pedophile, and I've never heard of a pedophile trying to convince another one. On the other hand, we don't think pedophiles have to feel bad about themselves if they make and keep a commitment not to engage in sexual activity with children. One analogy is diabetes. No one wants to have it, but diabetics don't need to feel like bad people or ashamed of it.
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I also like the idea of giving [kids] their own sheltered place to just be kids, away from the wierdos of adult society, but this last factor may largely be self-flattery. I'm sure you realize these reasons are why most males don't talk about a sexual attraction to younger youth. You've undoubtedly had similar reasons for hesiting to label yourself as a pedophile. You've understood that there are benefits to discouraging attractions towards youth, but have found other factors that outweighed them, and chose to label yourself a pedophile because of those factors. More or less correct?
I have not admitted my pedophilia to anyone in my offline life, mostly as a matter of self-preservation -- I could easily lose all my friends and social networks. I talk about my pedophilia online because I'd like to change that.
It's worth a word or two about how pedophilia starts. Teen boys realize it as they grow older but the kids they are attracted to don't. Society tells them they are monsters who will eventually abuse kids. They typically feel horrified and hate themselves. A few kill themselves, and a few figure they might as well abuse the kids since it's their fate anyway. The rest just suffer privately. We'd like them to know they can control their desires and live good lives -- like us (virped.org). It could be your son or brother or nephew.
Whoever would forgive an individual who hurts a child in this manner is a disgrace. My guess is they would probably forgive these animals from afar as long as it wasnt their child. I cant imagine anybody who would forever forgive an animal that did this to one of their own. Children are precious! The reason the world is screwed up is because children are neglected and abused. Then these children grow up and do the same to their offspring. If I ever saw anybody hurt a child in this manner I would have no problem seriously maiming that sick individual!
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Therefore I'll assume you to be the most reasonable person I can think of.
