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Several of my friends have elderly parents living in nursing homes. Both parties are happy with the arrangement because the kids (45 to 60) do not have either the time or skill to do an adaquate job.
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"The biggest problem with high parent involvement in their children’s education is most parents are ignorant, stupid, drugged and/or inimical psychopaths. Good teachers are far better role models."
My dad was in a convalescent hospital recovering from an aneurysm about 10 yrs ago. One of the nurses told me, "Typically, this is a place where people are sent to die." She said it was so sad that some people were there for months with NO VISITORS. Then she added that those people never last very long and that she thinks they die of a broken heart.
My mom treated the situation like a full-time job. She came to visit every morning at 8am, left for an hour lunch and came back to stay with him until 5pm. She monitored his medication, made sure his bedding was fresh, that he was bathed, etc. (Those nurses HATED her) It was her will alone that brought him back from the brink of death.
To me, it is NEGLECT that is horrible. Keep them at home, send them to a nursing home, whatever. But do you care for them? Do you visit them regularly? That's the real question.
in this nation. To me this is a result of the consumerist, selfish mindset that has permeated this nation. Please spare me the PC all races do this crapola. Ive seen the numbers and more whites throw their parents in nursing homes than do hispanics, blacks, and Asians. What a dirtbag mentality. The people who have given you life and brought you into this world, raised you and you cant be bothered with them? I am white, but I'll call out my own race when I have to and call a spade a spade. When it comes to how to respect your elders and treat your parents I really admire as we all should the Asians and Indians.
What stereotyping hogwash! If you've seen the numbers then why didn't you post them? Remember that whites are still the majority in this country and many Hispanics classify themselves as white also. So percentage wise..... Unless one spouse is a high income earner it takes two in the family to work and provide just the basic necessities these days. Who is going to care for their elderly then? Many require 24/7 care and have special needs that can't be met outside of a nursing home. Educate yourself before spreading hate against whites in here.
What stereotyping hogwash! If you've seen the numbers then why didn't you post them? Remember that whites are still the majority in this country and many Hispanics classify themselves as white also. So percentage wise..... Unless one spouse is a high income earner it takes two in the family to work and provide just the basic necessities these days. Who is going to care for their elderly then? Many require 24/7 care and have special needs that can't be met outside of a nursing home. Educate yourself before spreading hate against whites in here.
Or, everyone can quit their job to stay home and care for them. Play a Doctor and nurse so to speak. That way the tax payers can foot the bill for the whole scha-bang. I just hope they don't actually need a real Dr or nurse.
It would be nice to not have to work and play tour guide all day to someone.
A friend of mine runs an independent living community in South Florida.
Lots of times, the people come in when they are younger and healthy and PLAN for the transition into older age themselves quite well. They know what they're doing BECAUSE they don't want to be a burden on their children. This may very well be cultural.
These older folks plan everything .... from the time they will live in an active adult community -- to transitioning to an independent living facility -- to assisted living facility --- and finally, to nursing home if necessary. Long term care insurance is bought by these people and/or they "buy in" to the community that offers them stable rates should they need to go into assisted living.
Another friend of mine has a mother that requires a nurse basically every day to assist her in her own home. But, the mother enjoys her independence and has no desire to live with her kid(s), but they do see her often and spend time with her. Recently, the mother was checking out facilities because she wanted a MORE active social life than she has now, and thought that an assisted living place would give her social interaction. Of course, she has the resources to do this.
I saw my parents and their siblings tend for and care my grandparents in their elder years putting their parents before themselves because they wanted to, even though it made things inconvenient for them. Me and my siblings will do the same.
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When my grandfather had a stroke and was a bed-ridden and mostly out of his head, my mother quit her job (the income wasnt really needed) and my dad, me and my little brother to go live with them (my grandma and uncle) to take care of grandpa until he died.
I am greatful that my parents went quickly because no way could I have afforded to quit my job (single parent) to devote my life to caring for them, nor could my siblings. When they were in the hospital my brother and I were right there, taking shifts, just being there. Those weeks, with dad, wore me down to the point it was difficult to do my job. I dont know how one person can give around the clock care to a person with special needs.
When my aunt with demintia fell and was hospitalized my sister who had been caring for her needs had to put her in the nursing home. No way could she physically do for her what they were able to do in the nursing home nor could she leave her job.
What is sad is that these days we are often just not financially able to care for our elderly at home. Once upon a time most women did not work outside the home and were able to do these things, that is not the case anymore.
Again.. hang out with Asians and Indians. See how they do it. Are they somehow immune to the same issues that the weak minded here seem to be chirping about? This dependence on others in society who arent family members and the excuse making really gets old in this country!
I dont know about it being a white thing but please tell us just how do Asians and Indians manage to to do it?
White is the wrong description. Perhaps the person who started this thread was talking about a certain class that they are exposed too...and assume that all "whites" are like this...Whites comprise many different cultures and classes. This person posting this premise is probably used to certain lower middle class trashy whites...who dump their parents?
My folks have been in an active adult community for over 20 years and have planned things the best they can. There is some money if they need to hire help, I'm available as well, and hopefully whatever happens they can stay in their house until the end. Unfortunately we can't predict how "the end" unfolds so nobody really knows if they will be able to do what they want or not. People like me can say "oh sure, I'll do it" but you know, my life and situation may be quite different than I expect as well. I've gone through some major changes of my own the last 5 years and my sibling has health burdens now that nobody saw coming. All we can do it play it by ear so crowing about what we plan to do is pointless really.
The researchers found that between 1999 and 2008, the number of elderly Hispanics living in U.S. nursing homes climbed by 54.9 percent while the number of Asians increased by 54.1 percent. The number of black residents rose 10.8 percent. During the same 10-year period, the number of white nursing home residents in the U.S. dropped by 10.2 percent.
“Lets face it — money issues and a disparity in income and assets in minority communities is still there,” said McGinnis. “Unless you have savings, people are priced out of the market.”
Older adults and those with disabilities prefer living independently at home or in community-based alternatives, according to a related study published in Health Affairs that examined what people want from long-term care. Assisted living allows people to have more freedom; a skilled nursing facility is more confined and has more supervision.
“Assisted living has become quite popular and it’s also very expensive,” he said. “When it comes to economics, white folks are able to afford a different level of care.”
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