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I find it disgusting that some cultures enslave their children as they are the retirement for the old codgers. No career, just wait on someone hand and fist until the senior dies. Some life that would be. Then be expected to do the same? Have as many kids as possible to enslave for your own retirement.
Precisely. these old folks don't know when the living is over and the dying has begun. Once the latter has started, just get 'er done
To be fair. Nursing Homes are expensive. On the low side it is $3000 a month. There are many subsidized Senior hospitals with nothing but minorities.
If I play my cards right. I hope to have enough money saved to live in one of those retirement communities and just have orgies every weekend.
Most people in nursing homes end up on Medicaid. Once a person has spent down their assets (there is a formula), Medicaid takes over the payments. Most NHs accept Medicaid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasonF
The idea that people are just abandoning their parents (does taking your child to the hospital when necessary also count as abandonment? ) and shirking their responsibilities is pretty absurd. Sure some people do that. But many people are also just doing what they think is best. If you're working full time, it's not really feasible to take care of parents who require a lot of attention. It's also not really possible to provide much direct care if there's a large geographic separation.
Note how it doesn't really support the OP's assertion.
Agree entirely. And there are some people for whom it just doesn't work out. My mother had such severe dementia that she was very disruptive. The nursing home loved her, and their workers didn't have the emotional attachment I had to each and every thing she did, and they could go home after 8 hours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach
My wife took care of her mother to the bitter end. She allowed her to stay in her home and made a huge effort to support the old lady. I took care of her dying father personally nursing him in our home...I nursed my dying dad in my childhood home when I was only 17...MY mother had kidney failure and I took the time to keep her going as long as possible. People have to do their duty...It is not pleasant and it is demanding..to abandon a sick adult is no different than abandoning a child. Yes it is mostly "white" culture that does this...not all whites are white....if you know what I mean. Some of us have soul and are old school who practice loyalty.
That is wonderful that you guys did so, but it doesn't work for everyone.
The underlying and unmentioned part of nursing elderly parents is it is mostly done by the younger women in the family. It is just a continuation of the role of family slave given to most women in most cultures. I consider that to be unacceptable. I figure I'll give away most of my assets before I need elder care and then let the state pay for it.
The underlying and unmentioned part of nursing elderly parents is it is mostly done by the younger women in the family. It is just a continuation of the role of family slave given to most women in most cultures. I consider that to be unacceptable. I figure I'll give away most of my assets before I need elder care and then let the state pay for it.
You need to plan carefully to do that. Trust me.
But, yeah. I'd say most elder care is done by women, old and young. It's hard being the "sandwich" generation. My kids were still young enough to need a lot of supervision when my parents got really sick. When my dad broke his hip, they were 7 and 10. We also lived 1500 miles away.
Attack the messenger when it hits a little close to home. Sorry charlie, I saw my parents and their siblings tend for and care my grandparents in their elder years putting their parents before themselves because they wanted to, even though it made things inconvenient for them. Me and my siblings will do the same. You can hire hospice like care to come to the house for the same price if not less than sending your parents away to the glue factory. Their is a dignity and honor in spending time with those who raised you, and allowing them to live their elder years in their homes. To each their own. I love all the excuse making here. It's just a proxy for the selfish, excuse making mindset that has permeated this nation. Again.. hang out with Asians and Indians. See how they do it. Are they somehow immune to the same issues that the weak minded here seem to be chirping about? This dependence on others in society who arent family members and the excuse making really gets old in this country!
First of all -you can't just order up some hospice care, dude. Your elderly parent has to be referred and given six months or less to live before hospice will get involved. Secondly, hospice does not necessarily come every day - in my state - they basically just pop in and out. So - daily care, changing diapers, changing feeding tubes, suctioning - will be up to you AND your family or you can pay for an nurses aide or a nurse.
If Mom or Dad falls ill at a fairly young age (say 60) - they could be living with you 30 or more years.
I'd love to hear more when you are actually taking care of an elderly person. Seems you are only willing to criticize others.
Lastly, you have several brothers and sisters. What about the only child, currently working full-time, and raising children of her own? How do you suggest that she care for an elderly parent full-time? I'd LOVE to know.
You are blowing off about things you know nothing of.
I was with my Mother when she took her last breath and my 92 year old father is currently living with me but should he need extensive care, I will not be able to provide it.
I get so sick of hearing BS from people who have never done it. You don't have a clue.
Ever hear of the Sandwich Generation? They are the baby boomers who are taking care of their kids and their aging parents.
I don't see anything inherently wrong with nursing homes. Most of those folks need a lot of round-the-clock care that overworked families simply can't do on their own. My grandmother is 93, no health problems, and living on her own. We visit with her often and take her shopping or to her doctor's appointments.
I'm sure there are many black/hispanic families who would love to send an aging, sick parent to a nursing home for proper care but they don't have the money for it.
Several of my friends have elderly parents living in nursing homes. Both parties are happy with the arrangement because the kids (45 to 60) do not have either the time or skill to do an adaquate job.
I'm not a big fan of it. Even for those of extreme means there are plenty of exceptional schools close to home where the kid can go to learn, and then come home in the evening and be part of a normal family unit. I love my kids and already dread when they will leave the house and go away to college. I couldnt imagine shipping them away from home in grade school or high school. Then again im not Daddy Warbucks so I dont know how that .0001 operates!
Sorry, not sorry, but my parents chose to have me. I didn't choose to have them. I have no issue taking care of my father so long as it does not burden me to the point of reducing my own household's standard of living. Considering he's a stubborn old man, helping him out is not that difficult. My mother? Well, she's out of the running and on her own if she ever needs care.
Sorry not sorry, but I'm not going to waste years of my life providing extensive medical care to my father should he ever need it.
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) and shirking their responsibilities is pretty absurd. Sure some people do that. But many people are also just doing what they think is best. If you're working full time, it's not really feasible to take care of parents who require a lot of attention. It's also not really possible to provide much direct care if there's a large geographic separation.
