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Do you have any statistics on that?
Just like about 8% of women claiming false rape claims shouldn't make people believe that all women do, I'd have to question your comments.
It's a slippery slope.
Other then personal experience working in Domestic violence law no not really, I just know it is a strategy of abusers and a fairly effective one because it creates attorney conflicts which, in a small bar, seriously limit options for the victim. Also if they are successful a protective order gives the abuser a lot of power.
Other then personal experience working in Domestic violence law no not really, I just know it is a strategy of abusers and a fairly effective one because it creates attorney conflicts which, in a small bar, seriously limit options for the victim. Also if they are successful a protective order gives the abuser a lot of power.
But you see the slippery slope there.
Same as people using the few women who false report rape as the basis for all rape claims.
But you see the slippery slope there.
Same as people using the few women who false report rape as the basis for all rape claims.
Not really, you are going to have to go by your instincts and there are some pretty fail safe ways to tell if someone is the victim or abuser in a domestic violence situation if you know what you are doing.
It's not an issue to the feminized mainstream society, but it's a major concern for normal men. Feminization and white knighting is rampant in the government and the criminal justice system, which doesn't believe men can't be DV victims.
If a man calls the police, he's automatically arrested and not the female perpetrator. And if men report sexual crimes, they're laughed at.
If a man is being abused, society just tells him to take it or walk away. But if the roles reversed, she's encouraged to fight back, call the cops, and leave the relationship.
Not really, you are going to have to go by your instincts and there are some pretty fail safe ways to tell if someone is the victim or abuser in a domestic violence situation if you know what you are doing.
I'd have to completely disagree with you then.
For decades, police who had rape reports would call the woman a liar, would not file reports and would use their superior powers of observation and knowledge to re-victimize the victim.
Is it worth that?
I'd have to completely disagree with you then.
For decades, police who had rape reports would call the woman a liar, would not file reports and would use their superior powers of observation and knowledge to re-victimize the victim.
Is it worth that?
Look, with domestic abusers you can tell if you know what you are doing and you talk to them long enough. First off follow the $$$. If they have significant control over the finances they are not a victim. This is not to say victims are not the bread winner, but rather they don't control the cash. Secondly, if you listen to a domestic abuser talk about the relationship they will let slip certain ways in which their victim doesn't let them control them, where as victims tend not to place high import on controlling their abusers.
On top of this while there are some victims who are strong people, abusers are always going to have a certain gusto and self confidence that is just part of their manipulative nature.
Trust me, if your around it long enough you can tell who is for real. I don't think it is worth it to buy into a guilt mentality about genders if it is going to conflict you and your office out of helping the real victim.
Look, with domestic abusers you can tell if you know what you are doing and you talk to them long enough. First off follow the $$$. If they have significant control over the finances they are not a victim. This is not to say victims are not the bread winner, but rather they don't control the cash. Secondly, if you listen to a domestic abuser talk about the relationship they will let slip certain ways in which their victim doesn't let them control them, where as victims tend to place high import on controlling their abusers.
On top of this while there are some victims who are strong people, abusers are always going to have a certain gusto and self confidence that is just part of their manipulative nature.
Trust me, if your around it long enough you can tell who is for real. I don't think it is worth it to buy into a guilt mentality about genders if it is going to you and your office out of helping the real victim.
Sorry, I still don't see it that way.
If you go into a situation predisposed to believing something, that's the outcome you're going to get.
I would hate to see the pendulum swing to demonizing all men, as it has been for women filing rape claims for decades.
I'm glad to see that there are ways to look at the money, etc.
But I still find it a slippery slope.
What is worse is that a lot of the men who do report it are themselves abusers looking to win the race to the court house and get their protective order in before their victim. It is a power and control thing.
Unless there is physical evidence of abuse or other sexual crimes, no person should ever be convicted. I know that can hurt many cases where a woman or a man was actually abused, but taking someones word is dangerous. Reading body language and looking into anything other than physical evidence, which financial control is not one, is also dangerous. It is better not to falsely accuse someone.
I also think the definition of Rape and Domestic Violence should be carefully worded. Yelling at someone might be grounds for a restraining order, but it is not violence. If we consider any case when someone raises their voice to be domestic violence, then every argument a couple has is potentially domestic violence.
The word Rape also needs to be carefully worded. We can't consider regret to be a valid claim for rape. Also, if a man or a woman tells another person no, but continues to actively engage the other person, it is not rape. Consent is given in two forms, physical and verbal.
Sadly legislation like VAWA has broadly defined terms such as sexual abuse, rape, and domestic violence.
What is worse is that a lot of the men who do report it are themselves abusers looking to win the race to the court house and get their protective order in before their victim. It is a power and control thing.
With that said a fair amount of men would never admit to it. I know men who have been raped and there is no way in hell they would want anyone knowing about it.
From my experience working with men and women involved in domestic violence (and from research) what is behind many of those reports of domestic violence from women towards men, is that there is a history of long term control and abuse by the husband towards the wife, but she has never called the cops out of fear what he will do to her or the children. So when she finally retaliates by throwing a knife or a pot at him or something, the cops are called, the husband is calm and holding his injury, and the wife looks like a crazy woman and is charged with assault.
It's hard to listen to a man telling his "poor me, I'm the victim and she's a crazy violent biatch" story while he's struggling to keep a smug smile off his face.
On the other hand, I've also met women who continually annihilate their husbands with contempt, criticism and stonewalling and have control over the money.
Last edited by Ceist; 04-14-2013 at 06:45 AM..
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