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Of course if a man meets a woman from another country and they are happy, decide to get married and start a family that isnt necessarily "desperate is it?
No, not at all. That's not picking someone out of a photo album and paying for passage over, sight unseen, under assumptions only. As I said, in an earlier post, a lot of these overseas bride sites are scams. Either for money, or to get girls shipped over to put into prostitution. The "bride"arrives arrives, Yuri and Boris, or Chen and Quan, come collect her. After the poor sucker just spent 25000 bucks, getting her here. Thats one risk to the game, anyway.
I know a few guys who met women overseas, and married them. Japanese, Filipinos, Chinese, Korean, East European, English, but they didn't meet on a website or because of ads for foriegn women seeking American husbands.
It's the "desperate" guys, that get nailed in the scams. Not vetting the sources, or actually meeting, by flying overseas, and getting sucked in by a hard luck story, and thinking they are riding to the rescue.
With overseas brides it depends. My paternal grandparents met when he was stationed in England during WW2 and married an English war bride, my paternal grandmother. They were close in age and while I wonder about the true relationship (he was exceptionally mean)I don't think it was a desperate situation more than likely, though her house was bombed during the war. Until the day she died she was English through and through and never became a citizen. They were married 55 years.
However I have known (or known of)men desperate to find a woman that they did the overseas mail bride. Most of these guys were often unattractive for one reason or another to American woman (by unattractive I mean they were usually misogynists)so they felt they had no choice. Most of them were older men seeking younger, more submissive women. Yes these men are desperate but much different than going overseas and just happening to meet someone.
...I like how it's specifically A MAN rather than a man or woman.
Why on earth would I write about a woman? I'm not gay. I like men, therefore it'd be divorced men with kids that would be a problem for me. NOT divorced women with kids.
Prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on. The ONLY protection is to not marry.
The problem is that in some states like Colorado, just living with someone can get you dragged into divorce court. This one is a classic Colorado screw job. The article purports to be about how tough it is to be a divorced woman, but when you read the story, you find that the woman lived off of her boyfriend for five years, no children involved so she had no reason not to work, and when he got tired of it, she went to a judge and claimed common law marriage. SHE GOT IT. That's right, her boyfriend has to pay her alimony, even though they were never married:
Here is another good Colorado divorce story. A woman kills her baby, the husband files for divorce. THE HUSBAND HAS TO PAY ALIMONY. I'm not kidding. This guy ended up being ordered to pay his ex-wife who killed their baby alimony while she is in prison!
I know all about the case. I also know 99% of ALL prenups are upheld in court. There are ways to reduce such issues. In California, for a prenup to be valid, one party has to have his attorney, and the other party has to have a total separate attorney. All FOUR persons must sign and agree. Thus very much reducing the chance of a prenup being thrown out.
Not too mention, in that case you are talking millions of dollars. An attorney will take a case like that. For us common folk, no attorney is going to take a prenup case. It doesn't make them any money.
I've been married for 29 yrs to the same woman I took to my junior and senior prom. About 10 yrs ago we both decided to get a post nuptial agreement. I could care less about the house, possessions, or anything like that. I can replace those. My retirement and 401k I cannot.
Yes, alimony is financial vampirism. I got saddled with it, and my ex makes 27 bucks an hour. Plus, she took my family home, and everything in it, got primary custody, and the hild support to go with it. And my son is with me as much as he is her. He hates her boyfriend, ( he is a douchebag, fer sure) so he stays with me a LOT. She is nailing me for 50% of my income, plus she got EVERYTHING we aquired, jointly, save my truck, my dog and my guns. A few of the latter I had to sell to keep from starving and to stay warm.
Yea, I am VERY sick of men getting the shaft. And we do. The laws and courts are lopsided, in favor of women, and we get treated like we are nothing. So what, if we have no life, are sleeping in our car, and eating out of dumpsters. The logic is horrible. How can we support an ex, if we can't support ourselves? How can we work, if we get sick or hurt, and can't afford the medical care? Stupidity, plain and simple.
My current relationship has reaffirmed my faith that all women are not parasitical, vengeful, nasty, creatures. Judges and lawyers, on the other hand.... Without my lil' bitty, beautiful gal, I have now, I would have given up. The laws and the courts need to balance out. As things are, it is destroying men, and causing a LOT of damage and hate. Not every guy gets lucky, like me, and finds someone to give them a reason to live.
Hold it right there. Why didn't you ask for child custody? Did they deny it to you, and if so, why?
Also, what do you feel you should've paid? (Since you're not happy with the way things were divided up, and your share of the child support).
Also, here's what gets to me, but first let me preface it with stuff about me.
1. I plan to have no kids - EVER - and part of the reason is what I have seen fathers do in divorce - nasty, nasty things.
2. I think kids are bad news for women - almost always. Women get saddled with the kids, and all the work they require, when they're married, and women get saddled with the kids, and all the work they require, after they're divorced. They get saddled, period.
Okay, here's what I want to say:
Men are okay with supporting their kids while they're married, but the moment they get divorced, they want the woman to be stuck with the lion's share of the expense for the kids. I can understand this might be due to anger, however, some men can't seem to use math properly, and think the money they are spending on their kids is "too much." They never stop to realize that it's cheaper when people are living together, and costlier when people are living separately, so the money goes more quickly. That's why people room together when they go to college - it's cheaper to live together. Divorce is expensive because the people split up and go from 1 home and 1 unit, to 2.
I worked for an attorney that did family law, and I wish I'd have written a book. While a handful of women clients were difficult to deal with, the ones most difficult to deal with were the clients that were men.
Men think that when women have custody of the kids, the women should be the ones to have to pay the lion's share of expenses. If they're angry or hate their ex, they desperately want the woman to suffer, and will ask their own attorney to do things that are unreasonable or simply can't be done. They are litigious to the nth degree. My atty (a guy) and I spent half the time trying to sedate crazy-ass male clients who wanted blood. Where things could be resolved amicably, many would rather litigate it and end up spending lots of money on the attorney than on the ex and child, in an attempt to cause the ex pain. (I am serious!!!!) I think men go into war mode when they get divorced. That's fine in an actual war, but not in a divorce.
Hold it right there. Why didn't you ask for child custody? Did they deny it to you, and if so, why?
Also, what do you feel you should've paid? (Since you're not happy with the way things were divided up, and your share of the child support).
Also, here's what gets to me, but first let me preface it with stuff about me.
1. I plan to have no kids - EVER - and part of the reason is what I have seen fathers do in divorce - nasty, nasty things.
2. I think kids are bad news for women - almost always. Women get saddled with the kids, and all the work they require, when they're married, and women get saddled with the kids, and all the work they require, after they're divorced. They get saddled, period.
Okay, here's what I want to say:
Men are okay with supporting their kids while they're married, but the moment they get divorced, they want the woman to be stuck with the lion's share of the expense for the kids. I can understand this might be due to anger, however, some men can't seem to use math properly, and think the money they are spending on their kids is "too much." They never stop to realize that it's cheaper when people are living together, and costlier when people are living separately, so the money goes more quickly. That's why people room together when they go to college - it's cheaper to live together. Divorce is expensive because the people split up and go from 1 home and 1 unit, to 2.
I worked for an attorney that did family law, and I wish I'd have written a book. While a handful of women clients were difficult to deal with, the ones most difficult to deal with were the clients that were men.
Men think that when women have custody of the kids, the women should be the ones to have to pay the lion's share of expenses. If they're angry or hate their ex, they desperately want the woman to suffer, and will ask their own attorney to do things that are unreasonable or simply can't be done. They are litigious to the nth degree. My atty (a guy) and I spent half the time trying to sedate crazy-ass male clients who wanted blood. Where things could be resolved amicably, many would rather litigate it and end up spending lots of money on the attorney than on the ex and child, in an attempt to cause the ex pain. (I am serious!!!!) I think men go into war mode when they get divorced. That's fine in an actual war, but not in a divorce.
(sigh) Firstly, there is a rather accusatory tone to your post, that, initially set my teeth to grinding. But I'm over it. Secondly, the circumstances behind the divorce were extremely bad. How things ended up was mainly due to my mental state. I was a basket case. No semblance of ME was apparent at all. Vengeance and hurting her was the furthest thing from my mind. She hired a lawyer, I didn't. She demanded everything she had always threatened to take from me, I told her to do her worst. She did, and I didn't fight. My thinking was, I was NOT going to put my son through a nasty court battle. I didn't. Oh, I could have, but nothing but sparing him mattered. Things were bad enough already. Yea, she got it all. House, custody, half my income, furniture, and my best freind. And I didn't want revenge. Never. Thats all the detail I am willing to go into.
If I was guilty of anything, it was apathy. I LET her bleed me dry. At the point I was at, I just didn't care. I was played out. I couldn't stay in the marriage, and leaving cost me everything. But, I had already lost things, far mor important than STUFF. And my son was not going to abandon me, or turn against me, though she did try to make that happen.
Why not? She got my closest friend, closer to a brother, to turn against me. I didn't even know he had, for a couple years. Hope they enjoyed each other. Hope she was worth destroying 25 years of friendship, much of it forged in violent encounters where we had each others backs.
What I was "denied" , I denied myself. I have an outstanding relatioship with my son. Regardless of her having custody. I am not ignorant to the financial strain of a teenager. I did not begrudge child support. The alimony, well, like I said, I didn't put up a fight. Over the last year and a half, I have given her $32000. I ended up getting a review, and the alimony ceases at the end of this month. I did ha e one considerable, piece of leverage, which I held in reserve, and applied peacefully, with no further bloodshed.
I wanted to, and did, avoid a bloodbath in court. It hurt, bad, for a spell, doing things the way I did. But, in tbe end, it worked. I lost most of my material possesions, my family home, and a close friend. The money, didn't matter much, but it's tough not to harbor some resentment, in hindsight.
So, does that put some giddyyap back in your Whoa there? There's a lot more as well, but, as I said, Im not willing to go there. Still hurts sometimes.
But, it's working out. I have my lady, I have my son, anything else is gravy. I ha e real love in my life, and trust too. I have control of my life now, and I am not afraid anymore. I took the worst she could dish out, and. I'm still standing. Standing tall now. Answer your questions? Am I the monster, that aroused your suspicions? Lol,...yea, thats me. Mr. Bloodbath.
"One of the most enduring myths of Social Security is that a worker has a legal right to his Social Security benefits. Many workers assume that, if they pay Social Security taxes into the system, they have some sort of legal guarantee to the system's benefits. The truth is exactly the opposite. It has long been law that there is no legal right to Social Security. In two important cases, Helvering v. Davis and Flemming v. Nestor,the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Social Security taxes are simply taxes and convey no property or contractual rights to Social Security benefits."
What does a SSN have to do with alimony? In any case, you need a SSN to obtain a license and lawyers are licensed like many other professions. Call it a catch 22 if you will.
A. Non-custodial child support is authorized by the Social Security Act of 1935.
B. NO law compels participation.
C. NO law punishes nonparticipants.
"The Social Security Act does not require an individual to have a Social Security Number (SSN) to live and work within the United States, nor does it require an SSN simply for the purpose of having one..."
- - - The Social Security Administration
1. What law compels all Americans in the USA to enroll and participate in FICA?
2. What law punishes any American in the USA who does not participate in FICA?
3. What law punishes any American business that hires unnumbered Americans?
4. What is the official procedure to volunteer out of FICA?
5. What privilege am I exercising when I do not participate in FICA that would incur an income tax on my wages?
The only hope in these situations for the man is to be able to keep his health long enough to cycle out all of his liabilities then write off his entire dead beat family, disappear, rebuild his money and live what ever years he has left reasonably well. Maybe he will out live his exwife and can laugh at her funeral and **** on her grave.
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