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If a man came to you and he said, “Listen, I think marriage is great. There’s no downside to it.” What would you say to him? Not telling him not to do it, but maybe saying, “Have you thought about the other side of this?” What are some of the negatives for men in marriage that are making men less likely to marry?
Well, the first negatives are the legal ones. If man does get divorced, he’s much more likely to pay alimony. For example, about 97 percent of alimony is paid by men, only about 3 percent by women. Men tend to lose with their children more often. Only about 10 percent of men get custody of their children if there’s a divorce. In marriage, …if a man finds out a couple of years down the line that the child isn’t his, the state, in certain states — not most states — a man can be forced to pay for that child even though that child is not his. At the same time, if he wants a vasectomy — now this one is hard because it’s actually not on the books — but if a married man goes to a doctor and wants a vasectomy, most doctors in this country will not perform a vasectomy unless that man gets his wife to sign off.
…If he wants to leave the marriage, a woman can just point her finger and tell her lawyer that a man committed child abuse, domestic abuse — and a lot of times it’s just taken as a given. If a woman wants a restraining order against a man in a marriage, men most often are taken to jail when, you know, the woman calls the police. However, studies actually show that violence in domestic relations is almost 50% from men and 50% from women. If a woman gets angry for any reason, she can simply accuse a man and men are just assumed guilty in our society.
Why is it that the argument against marriage is always "when you get divorced". Last time I checked, being married is a different entity than being divorced. Why not actually discuss the downfalls of marriage?
If you go into marriage thinking it will end in divorce, it most certainly is not for you.
Divorce, Especially with children involved is a huge blow to everyone involved. The kids get separated from the parents, Parents have to start over and it's costly for both. Then there are the respective partners that come afterward that may create drama and confusion for the children if they are young especially. With the divorce rate high in the U.S. and this potential some do not want to venture this road.
As far as alimony, I have known many divorced men and none have paid alimony. I am in New York. Not sure how that all works though here or in other regions.
Marriage is not a decision to make on its own. It makes no sense to even think of it out of the context of being with the person that you really don't want to live without.
Is it women’s preferences (the demand for husbands) or men’s preferences (the supply of husbands) that are driving the trend toward less marriage? It’s hard to tell, but some gender asymmetries are apparent. For instance, a recent poll of unmarried blacks of prime marrying age found that only 25 percent of women were seeking a long-term relationship compared with 43 percent of men.
It was reported yesterday and someone posted a link in another topic to a story that stated 80% of men wanted a family. So this topic is false.
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