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Old 01-30-2017, 04:41 AM
 
51,653 posts, read 25,819,464 times
Reputation: 37889

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Quote:
Originally Posted by thriftylefty View Post
Obama called Trump after the brouhaha over their inauguration photos were compared, he told him size dosen't matter.
Good one.

 
Old 01-30-2017, 04:53 AM
 
Location: JobHuntingHacker.com
928 posts, read 1,101,576 times
Reputation: 1825
Have you seen the new TV show on every news channel "Orange is the new black"?

Why was Trump so happy during his inauguration? Because he got to do his favorite thing: kick a black family out of their home.
 
Old 01-30-2017, 05:05 AM
 
Location: The 719
18,022 posts, read 27,463,514 times
Reputation: 17342
Trump (from the White House): Knock knock.
Hillary: Who's there?

Trump: Not you.
 
Old 02-16-2017, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,613,839 times
Reputation: 5446
President Trump gets a visit from the Pope.
While out on a boat, the seas get rough, the winds pick up, and the Pontiff's hat flys off his head and lands in the water 10 yards from the boat.
Secret Service men all scramble and are in an uproar, and President Trump tells them, "Don't worry men, I got this..."
President Trump steps out of the boat and walks on the water to pick up the Pontiff's hat.
He walks back to the boat, crawls in, and hands The Pope his hat.
Everyone on board are completely amazed.
The next day, the papers and press were all over this story from beginning to end.
The headlines read, "Trump Can't Swim".

Last edited by TUMF; 02-16-2017 at 01:46 PM..
 
Old 02-16-2017, 01:45 PM
 
Location: One of the 13 original colonies.
10,190 posts, read 7,954,135 times
Reputation: 8114
Did you hear the one about Trump beating Hillary in the election and becoming president? Funny isn't it?
 
Old 02-16-2017, 02:00 PM
 
8,384 posts, read 4,367,951 times
Reputation: 11890
What does Melania see in Donald Trump? "Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"

What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes? Answer: The back of his head.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan? If Trump gets Alzheimer's his IQ will go up.

What does Donald Trump and a porn-star have in common? They are both experts at switching positions in front of a camera

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb Trump's ego and jump down to his I.Q.
 
Old 02-16-2017, 03:11 PM
 
20,724 posts, read 19,363,240 times
Reputation: 8288
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEmissary View Post
Now that we have a joke for a leader, it's time for some actual Trump jokes. I'll start us off!

Did you hear about Trump's fabulous hotel for fat women?

It's called Mar-A-Lardo


Have you heard the President's Secret Service Code Name?

Catnip

Your Turn!

OK

How many liberals does it take to hold a candle to Trump?

All of them try because they cannot screw in a light bulb.
 
Old 02-16-2017, 03:13 PM
 
20,724 posts, read 19,363,240 times
Reputation: 8288
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotty011 View Post
Did you hear the one about Trump beating Hillary in the election and becoming president? Funny isn't it?

Hillary is still a winner. She beats Bill every day.
 
Old 02-17-2017, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Huntsville, AL
2,852 posts, read 1,613,839 times
Reputation: 5446
I find it hard to imagine that there aren't more jokes in here...
 
Old 02-17-2017, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Central Mexico and Central Florida
7,150 posts, read 4,904,543 times
Reputation: 10444
Q: What do a thong and Donald Trump’s hair have in common?

A: They both barely cover an a$$hole.
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