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Women are only outraged by sexual attention when it's from men they aren't attracted to.
I'm surprised there was no outrage about racism, given the areas she chose for her sample.
That seems to be the case these days though. Feminism is at the top of the SJW hierarchy so you're allowed certain concessions, even with race, as long as it's a woman being (faux) victimized.
I could walk through a dark alley in the Bronx at night, wearing an expensive suit, flashy jewelry and cash falling out of my pockets; get robbed and complain on social media. 9 out of 10 people would laugh and call me an idiot and they'd be correct.
There's an article in our local paper about some guy who exposed himself to 8 different young girls and women recently. He'd ask them to approach his vehicle under the guise of needing directions and then expose his genitals.
Some guy asked, "Why would anyone call the cops about this?"
A woman told him that exposing genitals to people randomly on the street is a crime.
He advised her that the girls and women should, "make the best of the situation. They get to see a penis."
Women are only outraged by sexual attention when it's from men they aren't attracted to.
I'm surprised there was no outrage about racism, given the areas she chose for her sample.
That seems to be the case these days though. Feminism is at the top of the SJW hierarchy so you're allowed certain concessions, even with race, as long as it's a woman being (faux) victimized.
I could walk through a dark alley in the Bronx at night, wearing an expensive suit, flashy jewelry and cash falling out of my pockets; get robbed and complain on social media. 9 out of 10 people would laugh and call me an idiot and they'd be correct.
It's kind of a chicken an egg thing. The minute a man opens up his mouth to be lewd he's no longer attractive-- he's repulsive. So there will never be a man who catcalls who will be attractive to a normal woman by default. And what about underage girls who go through this from adult men? You don't think that's inappropriate? Because that's when it starts.
Okay, I'm going to share a lot because it seems like it might be the only way to make people understand. I share a lot, anyway, just because it's the way I am. Sometimes people say nasty things in response to my sharing, sometimes they don't. I'm used to it now, though, and maybe if it helps someone else, it's worth it. I don't know.
When I was 4, I was sexually abused by the next door neighbor. It went on until I was about 11. I would beg my parents to not send me over to his house, but he'd call and say he needed help with getting mail or dialing the phone... and I was sent over. They'd say, "He's old. He needs help." He'd lock me in his room while I begged to be let out. His wife sat in the living room right outside the door and could hear me asking to be let out. When he'd finally allow me to go home, I'd run to the door and jump on my bike. He'd send his German Shepherd after me as I furiously pedaled home, crying the whole time. He told me that he "just couldn't help it because I was so beautiful and he just HAD to touch me." The shame, guilt, and disgust I felt was very real and very damaging. I can remember every catcalling incident because they ALL brought back those feelings of shame and disgust that were instilled in me at a very young age. I'm at the age now where it doesn't ruin my day if someone says something dumb to me. But I still resent the intrusion because it's taken me a long time to get to where I feel good about myself and life in general. I want to be friendly and like people... and I DO. And sometimes I am not friendly and don't like people... and that is okay, too. Women don't need to be a certain way just because someone tells them to. I don't owe anyone smiles or friendliness just because they demand it of me.
So if you think that 13 year old girl walking down the street, covering her chest in an attempt to not be noticed isn't hurt by some grown man catcalling her, I have news for you. It certainly does hurt. It's BAD behavior. And I have to believe that any woman in this world would want that kid to NOT have to go through that. I realize my situation is rather extreme, but there are a lot of sexual abuse survivors... and I guarantee they feel sick when someone objectifies them. It's not so simple as, "Oh, well, they're just words." You should be able to claim your space in this world... walk down the street, go grocery shopping, whatever... without someone commenting on your physical appearance. It's just that simple. No one HAS to catcall. It's a choice they make... and it's not a choice they make to brighten anyone's day. They feel like they have the upper hand and can say whatever they feel and if a woman complains about it, then she's being "sensitive." They KNOW that people will excuse the behavior... because it's always been like that. Maybe it's time to just start trying for some decency, you know? Instead of telling women to get over it, let's start telling the catcallers to stop being dickheads instead.
Sorry, I know what you mean. Uncle and stepfather @ 10
Some will never get it until it happens to them. Or their wife or daughter, who probably think it because of something they did wrong.
Sorry, I know what you mean. Uncle and stepfather @ 10
Some will never get it until it happens to them. Or their wife or daughter, who probably think it because of something they did wrong.
I hate sharing all that info. It actually makes my guts hurt. But not because I'm ashamed of what happened to me. It's just a visceral response because it should never be something a kid has to experience. I'm sorry you also know about this.
Of course words can cross boundaries. Do you really think words can't?
Sure, I am just asking questions to get a viewpoint that I can not judge from.
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And as for remarks on personal appearance, strangers should not remark upon the appearance of people they do not know. It is a fundamental rudeness.
I disagree here. I have told women I do not know that I find something about them attractive, interesting or something of that sort.
I don't understand what seems like a dislike of a honest complement. I can understand a dislike of "You have a great arse". But, "Excuse me, no disrespect intended and I'm not hitting on you but you have amazing eyes".
All eyes are not alike. I have said this before. I gathered no animosity when I said it. I'm sure women can get a feeling about how something is said also.
This is why I am asking.
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As for catcalling and reducing people to less than human, men catcall for sexual reasons, not to try to get to know you. If your only interest in someone is about sex, than you are inherently reducing them to less than a whole human. Now this is not limited to men, women who visit strip shows often do the same thing to the dancers. While that is not nice either, it is some what more acceptable since presumably the stripper is an adult who agreed to that treatment,
Sure, I am just asking questions to get a viewpoint that I can not judge from.
I disagree here. I have told women I do not know that I find something about them attractive, interesting or something of that sort.
Social norms are not really about personal opinion. The notion of not commenting on a strangers appearance is basic manners. Google it if you don't believe me. But you are not obligated to follow politeness norms, but you don't get to arbitrarily decide that those mores don't exist.
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I don't understand what seems like a dislike of a honest complement. I can understand a dislike of "You have a great arse". But, "Excuse me, no disrespect intended and I'm not hitting on you but you have amazing eyes".
From a stranger its creepy. Would you say that to another man?
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All eyes are not alike. I have said this before. I gathered no animosity when I said it. I'm sure women can get a feeling about how something is said also.
I have had that said to me as well. I respond with politeness because it is a social expectation but it does not remotely mean I do not find it absolutely creepy. Now, a guy friend recently told me the same thing. It was not received that way as I have known this man for 10+ years and it was relevant to the conversation. But honestly, I don't care what a perfect stranger thinks of my eyes, and the fact that they feel it is appropriate to say that to me, a stranger, and doesn't care about whether or not they appear rude just shows how creepy they are. now even if your intentions are not creepy, even if you said it to guy standing next to me too, because it is rude to comment on a strangers personal appearance, you at best seem like a rude person with good intentions.
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This is why I am asking.
Sure.
Ok, well I am telling you this here on an anonymous forum, because I cannot tell you or the other people IRL who have said the same or similar that it is still unwanted. Look, if it is really about what you want and how you feel, feel free to continue to make unsolicited comments about strangers appearances. There is a subset of people who won't care, and most people who do care, like me, won't compound the politeness issue by being rude in return. So I suppose we are all good.
It's not about being perfect. Heck treat women like whole humans rather than a piece of tail is a good rule of thumb.
Sorry I don't like any strangers touching me in any way other than maybe a handshake. So I would tell your co workers to keep their hands to themselves if it were me, but I also don't just walk up and touch random people in any way without their ok.
I agree with the second part...I personally would prefer that they not just randomly walk up to me throughout the the day doing this...I know I don't do it to other people...especially not at work. But one of the chicks who rubs on me, said she also grabs other women when she sees one she likes (yes, she says she likes women too)...so I think this is just how she is, no matter if it is a man or a woman. So it sounds like you should also be barking to other women to treat all people like they are whole humans instead of a piece of tail; because in my experience they're as guilty of it as anybody .
Last edited by soletaire; 02-22-2017 at 06:43 PM..
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