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Yet again. The restaurant was defective. Simple as that. Failed to make the place as safe as it could reasonably be. Created a hazard to human life that caused a death.
That parents of a child hurt or killed wish they had been more vigilant is always true. But one cannot foresee all possibilities. A kid in sight of parents and playing in an empty booth is not a child risking death. And it may well have not even been impolite at that place at that hour.
It isn't perfectionist, it's reality. I have worked in food service and can tell you that there are many ways for a child to be hurt if wandering in a restaurant. As a parent, my children were not allowed to go exploring in any restaurant unless it was something like Chuck E Cheese. It isn't unrealistic to expect parents to supervise their children, and teach them to behave appropriately in public places.
I'm sorry but I think it is absolutely RIDICULOUS to not allow a child to get up and go to the bathroom on his own or play a vending machine, look at an aquarium, etc.
How do you teach them to behave appropriately if you NEVER give them the chance to do something alone?
Because if an innocent act like walking around leading to death is the parents' fault than so is allowing a child to go on a bike ride. Why? Because the bike rider has a MUCH greater chance of dying than a kid walking around in a restaurant.
We shouldn't leave our kids as a turtle would, but this hyper parenting BS needs to stop. And yes, it is a uniquely American viewpoint.
It's uniquely ridiculous and your bike analogy is a good one.
Even if the biker does everything right, wears a helmet, obeys traffic laws - still some idiot can swerve into him and he can die.
Allowing a child to ride a bike is a judgment call. Can they ride well enough to avoid danger? Is the area they are riding safe? Do they have the cognitive ability to make safe decisions?
It is one thing to allow a 15 y/o to ride his bike to school. Quite another to turn a 5 y/o lose. If a 15 y/o gets hit while riding in a bike lane with his helmet on, you can make a case for the parents having done everything they could to ensure the situation was as safe as possible. If the 5 y/o heads out into traffic and gets hit, it would be hard to make the case that the parents' were providing appropriate supervision.
In this case, the parents made a judgement call to allow their 5 y/o to climb around the restaurant booths. As events proved, it was a poor decision.
Believe what you will, but if the parents had been providing appropriate supervision for a 5 y/o in a public place, they would have him in their arms tonight.
BTW, I've eaten in restaurants in Europe, Canada, and Mexico. Parents do not allow their children to roam these restaurants. In countries such as Germany and France, it more common to see dogs under the tables than kids.
Allowing a child to go check something out in a restaurant is a judgment call too. Or letting them go to the bathroom alone or play a vending machine.
I started allowing my sons to ride their bikes alone when they were 10 years old. I felt, as their parent and from life experience, that was plenty old enough to be without mom for an hour. I know they could get hit by a car. So god forbid if one of them did, am I being negligent by allowing them out of my sight not knowing their exact location for every second of that hour?
If you want to go by "events proved" then why don't you count the millions of times every day that kids do stuff like this kid did and didn't get hurt or killed? Why glom on to the ONE freak accident which lead to this poor child's death?
I have friends that live in Switzerland, Italy, Greece and Ireland. I can tell you they absolutely do not hover over their children like we are "supposed" to do here in America. Kids are out at 10, 11 o'clock at night in restaurants with their parents and if you think the kids act oh so holy and perfect you're wrong. Parents in those countries - and others - give their kids MUCH longer leashes and expect MUCH more independence at younger ages than we do here. And you know what? They are right in doing so.
Magritte25 So, I shouldn't let my kids get up to use the bathroom? Or go look at an aquarium (a local restaurant has this)? Or look out of a window?
if your kid gets up to go to the bathroom, or look at the aquarium, a responsible parent would hold their hand and accompany them. Period.
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I'm sorry but I couldn't disagree more. Americans are notorious the world over for keeping their children in an infantile state, not allowing them out of their sight. Then we wonder why our kids grow up not knowing how to deal with life.
A five year old needs to have his parent with him at all times when out in public....and older kid, not so much, but toddlers, run, they love the open space, and when a wait person comes out with a tray of hot food, that spells disaster and burns....common sense.
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And before any smart ass says, "Oh looking out a window helps them deal with life?" NO. But its all of it put together that some of you posters constantly jump on - going to the playground alone, taking a bus downtown alone, hanging out at football games alone, walking to school alone, being home alone, cooking for themselves, etc and so on and so forth
the kid we're discussing was a 5 year old????? So, you'd allow a five year old to take a bus downtown? hang out at a foot ball game....walk to school alone?
it really angers me, when I go to a grocery store, or a mall and some parent is allowing their kid to run free....without supervision. Anyone can come along and pick them up to sell them into slave or sex labor.
You do not appear to have a firm grasp of the situation.
The family was seated at the window. The mundane adventure of looking out the window would be easy enough to do from his chair, no need to go off wandering.
This is the first I've read of the parents being occupied with paying the check. But makes little difference. Children require supervision even when parents are paying the check.
Tragic things do indeed happen all the time.
Some tragedies could be prevented.
This was one of them.
Of course this could have been prevented. Most accidents could be prevented in hindsight. What's fascinating in this case is the eagerness you and many others have in jumping to wild scenarios based on such fragmented information. Crazy stuff like children running wild into restaurant kitchens, disrupting other patrons, knocking servers down. Sure, the boy could have remain seated, as people claim is the rule they apply. imo, there's not a single one of you who at some point didn't intentionally or negligently have a child 'wander' in circumstances that were more potentially dangerous, theoretically, than this restaurant.
The accident could have been prevented with foresight and common sense. Kids have no business running around restaurants. Period.
Doesn't make any difference if you believe it is perfectly normal for preschoolers to wander around, chat with other patrons, look at photos on the wall, climb under booths, etc., or that in Europe they let their kids climb around at restaurants (no they don't), it is not safe and it annoys the staff and other patrons.
There isn't a parent alive who hasn't made parenting decisions that they later regretted.
You do the best you can and that's all you can do.
"Parenthood doesn't require "perfection," but it requires diligence and common sense. It is easy and critically important to keep a child *seated* in a restaurant. My heart breaks for these parents."
I don't see anything wrong with a child getting up and looking out a window while mom and dad are paying the bill. Seems like painfully mundane thing to do, especially when the view is so interesting. Tragic things happen all the time. I don't see blame for anyone in this situation.
Sorry, that was me. I intended to include my name. And I say again, parenthood doesn't require perfection, which is what you accused us of thinking about our own parenting. But I'm quite sure you don't actually believe any of us considers ourselves to be perfect parents. That's just silly and deflecting from the actual topic.
You've brought up so many irrelevant issues, like kids riding bikes and helicopter parents. Can we simply focus on THIS situation, which is that a FIVE-year old wandered from the table? Do you truly believe that there is no problem whatsoever with a 5-year old wandering around a restaurant?
How many posters here with restaurant experience have talked about how dangerous that is? Fatal pinch point aside, they've pointed out the NUMEROUS problems children wandering in a restaurant can cause. But you still believe it is perfectly fine?
And to reiterate from an earlier post of mine,I do believe the restaurant contributed to this fatality, due to the poor design. But the first line of defense should always be the parent, enforcing reasonable safety precautions for the situation. In this case, that lack of enforcement cost this little boy his life.
Magritte25 I'm sorry but I think it is absolutely RIDICULOUS to not allow a child to get up and go to the bathroom on his own or play a vending machine, look at an aquarium, etc.
My grand daughter is 13 years old and a beautiful girl...and there is no way I'd let her go to the bathroom by herself in a public place.....no way. I walk in with her, wait, and walk out with her.
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How do you teach them to behave appropriately if you NEVER give them the chance to do something alone?
well, I guess that 5 year old boy learned a good lesson didn't he?
to allow a kid to wonder all over by themselves at such a young age, is very poor parenting....
I feel badly for the parents, I've been in that restaurant, and it isn't a place where you leave a child roam by themselves....it is constantly rotating....
plus it certainly doesn't qualify as a diner establishment....people don't go there to hear or see kids running around all over the place.
you can defend your position until the cows come home, but it doesn't excuse this kind of behavior. Kids should never run all over the place out in public, do what you want in your own home,but for the safety of the child and others, you keep the child close to you under supervision where you can see that child at all times.
Helicopter versus Free Range parentings pops up on the parenting forum from time to time.
Free Range parents are outraged when the social services gets involved with young children "exploring the world on their own." They insist that allowing children to roam free, letting the chips to fall where they may is the best way to raise an independent, self-sufficient child.
Helicopter parents say they are tired of being vilified for being responsible parents and tired of looking out for the free range children.
Seems to me there's a time and place for both.
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