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Women I know have been quite open. They call the men creeps and perverts but it doesn't seem to affect their lives other than to make sure it doesn't happen again. They don't define themselves as victims because that would give the predator power over them forever.
It also depends on the type and extent of the abuse. A stranger pinching a butt as he passes, or a man groping you when you are on a date isn't the same as being raped, which is a crime.
How can a woman make sure it doesn't happen again?
This isn't about culture at all, and I'm certainly not trying to dictate what culture people become. This is about common sense and moral decency.
If we are talking about culture, then yes, there are cultural differences around the world when it comes to 'norms' regarding physical contact. However, I'm talking about norms in the U.S, Australia, England, etc.
as am I.
Quote:
And regardless of how you think reality appears to work, it does not make it right.
Just because men do make unwanted sexual contact with women, it doesn't make it ok just because that's reality. There is very, very rarely an excuse for it.
What do you mean by okay? I don't recall ever encouraging it, merely stating that there will inevitably be some unfortunate misunderstandings, and to call those unfortunate misunderstandigns sexual assault is abhorrent.
You typed that there were no excuses. There are, obviously, excuses.
How can a woman make sure it doesn't happen again?
DO tell.
I'm interested to hear the response as well. After all, being sexually assaulted/raped is partly the woman's fault, right?
I'm not sure what has disturbed me more about this thread- the number of women that have been victims (which honestly doesn't surprise me), or the number of posters who are somehow trying to defend the perpetrators, place blame on the victim or otherwise trying to downplay the severity of the issue?
I'm interested to hear the response as well. After all, being sexually assaulted/raped is partly the woman's fault, right?
I'm not sure what has disturbed me more about this thread- the number of women that have been victims (which honestly doesn't surprise me), or the number of posters who are somehow trying to defend the perpetrators, place blame on the victim or otherwise trying to downplay the severity of the issue?
Agreed. The thread started out about women who have experienced sexual assault, and devolved into the plight of poor socially awkward men trying to get a date with hypocritical women who secretly like being sexually assaulted by alpha males.
This situation pretty much sums up the problem right there.
Of course there are excuses. Just because you want to rewrite reality doesn't mean you have the ability to do so. Actually, I was thinking of a few extremely good-looking male track runners I used to know rather than socially awkward people, and a few fraternity members. They'd frequently hit on girls who were part of their group, and part of that involved touching, but the girls kept staying around them so they must have enjoyed more than they disliked. .
In my opinion, One of the biggest mistake people make is assuming that it’s ahole behavior that makes bad boys appealing.
It is not like women don't like "nice" guys, The problem for so many nice guys (and Nice Guys, for that matter) is that they are afraid of rejection. They refuse to make an approach unless they are 110% sure that they’ll succeed.
The bad boys in my life happen to be super nice guys. lol They are very attractive, driven, passionate, caring, etc. They just like to take more risks. I don't recall they use "touching" to attract women, they don't have to. Just like a woman does not have to sleep around in order to prove her attractiveness. Sex appeal is something natural, either you got it, or you don't.
Daredevils who actually play sports, not just watch it; superheroes who stand up for people who cannot defend themselves; confident not arrogant..
Let's not perpetuate the myth that beneath every tough exterior is a tender heart.
I would describe the guy you are talking about as athletic and courageous, not bad. When I say bad, I mean bad: abusive, bullying, lying, cheating...
As for me, eye candy is nice, but I would pick an agile mind over an agile body. I like guys who are quick-witted, with a sly, even slightly subversive, sense of humor. Agree with you 100% about confident, even borderline cocky (think of Harrison Ford in the Star Wars movies - yum!)
I'm interested to hear the response as well. After all, being sexually assaulted/raped is partly the woman's fault, right?
I'm not sure what has disturbed me more about this thread- the number of women that have been victims (which honestly doesn't surprise me), or the number of posters who are somehow trying to defend the perpetrators, place blame on the victim or otherwise trying to downplay the severity of the issue?
Given how you portray "blaming the victim" or "downplaying the severity of the issue?" Sure, fine, I'm probably "blaming the victim" and "downplaying the severity of the issue."
Let's not perpetuate the myth that beneath every tough exterior is a tender heart.
I would describe the guy you are talking about as athletic and courageous, not bad. When I say bad, I mean bad: abusive, bullying, lying, cheating...
As for me, eye candy is nice, but I would pick an agile mind over an agile body. I like guys who are quick-witted, with a sly, even slightly subversive, sense of humor. Agree with you 100% about confident, even borderline cocky (think of Harrison Ford in the Star Wars movies - yum!)
I don't think any women are attracted to the bold. yikes They stay with the bold because they don't believe they can get anything better. So they settle for being needed.
In my opinion, One of the biggest mistake people make is assuming that it’s ahole behavior that makes bad boys appealing.
It is not like women don't like "nice" guys, The problem for so many nice guys (and Nice Guys, for that matter) is that they are afraid of rejection. They refuse to make an approach unless they are 110% sure that they’ll succeed.
The bad boys I happen to be with are also nice guys. lol They are very attractive, driven, passionate, caring, etc. They just like to take more risks. I don't recall they use "touching" to attract women, they don't have to. Just like a woman does not have to sleep around in order to prove her attractiveness. Sex appeal is something natural, either you got it, or you don't.
One of the problems with Nice Guys is that they sometimes try to guilt a woman into dating them: "How can she turn me down, I'm so Nice?" You know the kind - the guys who act like they are such good friends, when what they really want is to get in your pants. That's not truly nice, it's just manipulative, and women can spot it a mile away.
One of the problems with Nice Guys is that they sometimes try to guilt a woman into dating them: "How can she turn me down, I'm so Nice?" You know the kind - the guys who act like they are such good friends, when what they really want is to get in your pants. That's not truly nice, it's just manipulative, and women can spot it a mile away.
agree with you 1000000000%
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