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It's too late when men are made to go to sexual harassment seminars at work. Their behavior is already set. It needs to be taught at home and at school like it is for girls. My teen magazines were filled with all of the anti-rape advice. Magazines for boys do not have similar instructions on how to avoid crossing lines. They teach how to cross lines. How to get her into bed.
You just don't get it and feminist never will. Males are forced to spend most all their energy and resources to be selected. We can't waste our limited resources on how to make things even more perfect for feminist.
We get it. You feel you cannot do anything that could reduce the odds you might be sexually assaulted. That's your choice. That doesn't mean such measures don't exist - it simply means you don't take them seriously. Again, that's your choice and nobody here cares what you do.
You're completely powerless, the opposite of what I consider a strong, fierce woman. So you'd be a perfect target for a predator, given the people they go after.
Good luck with that.
That is insane. I follow all of our stupid rules. I learned them from the best source, my Dad. He had me near Taliban style. You know nothing about me. And then the girls I chose to hang with in college were the type that followed all these rules. I wouldn't make female friends that didn't, they were dangerous to me.
There was -0- chance that a rapey guy was getting ahold of US. We went out in packs. And the rule was, how we got there is how we go home, period.
If one got drunk enough to say she wanted to go home with whoever or have him drive her we were like nope, give him your number, you're coming with us.
No guy could drug one of us and get anywhere that way. She'd appear messed up or out of it and we'd have carted her away ourselves.
We THOUGHT we were safe. These rules gave us the illusion of safety.
That is all you have with these rules, an illusion, and as has been mentioned, all of the lucky ones can then look down on others and say gosh, if only they had followed the rules.
You just don't get it and feminist never will. Males are forced to spend most all their energy and resources to be selected. We can't waste our limited resources on how to make things even more perfect for feminist.
All we are asking is not to be harassed, stalked, assaulted, or raped. I am sorry that feels too difficult.
There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
I'm late to this thread. To answer your original post, no woman has a "duty" to protect herself. It's just common sense to do so. But also, if she doesn't, the perpetrator is never less at fault if an assault happens.
There seems to be a lot of controversy around this issue. Although there is little debate that women are not responsible for sexual assaults, do they have a duty to protect themselves? If so, how? Avoiding being alone? Not drinking to excess, avoiding skimpy clothing, what? Many individuals of both genders have expressed this opinion. And if she doesn't protect herself in whatever way is deemed necessary or fitting, is the perpetrator less at fault if an assault happens?
A woman has a duty to report what happened to the authorities. To not do so puts lots of other women at risk. That is unacceptable.
As noted, the perpetrator is always at fault. However, the argument I have seen that it is wrong and/or misogynistic to even suggest that women should use caution or take steps to protect themselves or avoid danger (because they "shouldn't" have to) is ludicrous and irresponsible. There are plenty of things I shouldn't have to worry about, but I still take reasonable precautions to prevent bad things from happening or to ameliorate their effects.
The issue I have is that rape is always considered a "woman's issue." Most of the time we only hear about what women should do to prevent rape, don't drink, don't wear skimpy clothing, etc. The clothing one is flat out wrong anyway. Those who rape look for weak vicims, those who appear to be low in self confidence. The girl in the corner wearing a turtlneck and hiding her chest is a much better choice of vicitim than a half dressed woman who is more likely to be confident and get a lot of attention. Most people don't know this because they focus on rape as something women need to learn to avoid.
We need to be studying men who rape and changing some of the behavior that can lead to acting on the impulse. Researchers have found men in fraternities tend to have many of the views and ideas about women that rapists have. Of course, this doesn't mean all men in frats rape, there are just things we need to look at if we truly want to prevent sexual assault, aside from tell women what not to do because that's of very limited effectiveness.
Another thing researchers found while studying college rapists is there were no issues of consent grey areas. They were careful to describe the exact acts, they didn't say rape or sexual assault. They describe penetration knowingly against a woman's will. The admitted rapists had no questions about consent. They knew she did not want it, they just didn't care or liked it that way. Many seem to imply that rape, especially among young college age women is simply a misunderstanding about consent, not an intentional violation of a woman against her will.
1.
a moral or legal obligation; a responsibility.
"it's my duty to uphold the law"
synonyms: responsibility, obligation, commitment; More
2.
a task or action that someone is required to perform.
"the queen's official duties"
synonyms: job, task, assignment, mission, function, charge, place, role, responsibility, obligation; datedoffice
"it was his duty to attend the king"
The DUTY, the legal and moral obligation is on all males and females not to offend against others.
A woman has a duty to report what happened to the authorities. To not do so puts lots of other women at risk. That is unacceptable.
That's reality and it won't change given the current attitude toward women who come forward. Despite the endless whining this past week, women are generally not automatically believed and sexual assault is not like other crimes. This is a copy of another post. It keeps coming up. It's easy to self righteously say they should report immediately but we can't reasonably expect that when they know they are likely to be treated poorly and at least partially blamed for being victimized. Many victims say they police victimized them all over again.
This is a commentary by a prosecutor who initially had trouble understanding why sexual asaault victims would wait to report. After spending time face to face with victims he began to understand. Sexual assault is not like other crimes, there are so many myths and cultural assumptions around sex and rape that make it more difficult to report.
It's a commentary, not proof of anything but it might give some a little insight if they are actually open to any. Like it or not, anything involving sex is complicated dramatically. Everyone is individual in their comfort level. It can depend on culture, religion, and various other aspects of a person. Some women may have no trouble saying penis or vagina, other women would rather die than say those words out loud, and, in fact may never have said them before.
While the questions are fair, it is not honest to apply the same demands of logic to a sexual assault victim that we do to victims of robbery or credit card fraud. It isn’t that logic fails to apply, it’s that other factors change the equation and so the answer is different.
Victims of other crimes do not have to use the words penis, vagina and intercourse to describe what happened to them. And, if you were uncomfortable reading those words in the privacy of your home, imagine the anguish of using the same words to describe your rape to a stranger.
.
They also don't have to get naked in front of strangers, be photographed head to toe, have an invasive exam, have their pubic hair combed and all the other parts of a rape kit. All that after being assaulted. For most women after an assault there is a desperate need to take a shower and wash the perpetrator away. It requires an amazing degree self control to fight this need and walk around with the assailant's fluids still on you, answer endless questions from someone you know is questioning and probably judging you, and wait for an rape kit to be performed.
If men were complaining about being sexually or otherwise assaulted the advice would be similar to lower the risk.
Frankly, I don't know why men should be any more concerned about feminist complaints about sexual assault than the zero concern feminist have for men's concerns.
If men were complaining about being sexually or otherwise assaulted the advice would be similar to lower the risk.
Frankly, I don't know why men should be any more concerned about feminist complaints about sexual assault than the zero concern feminist have for men's concerns.
It's pretty amazing how open you are even under a screen name. And the idea that only feminists care about sexual assault? What is wrong with you? Are you getting professional help?
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