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I'm just a dumb housewife. Could you please inform me specifically when and where the shaming and name calling occurred? I missed that lesson about being politically correct. And I was not denigrating anybody.
Those kids I picked up at school when they were throwing up or ill were the children of working friends who knew I would take care of their kid. How is that shaming working women? So were the scout troops and Sunday school.
Your brush is pretty broad, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shiftymh
We don’t. Fat, annoying feminists do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crone
As a kept woman for 61 years, I'll second that.
When the kids were in school I was also a hairy armpit feminist. I was very involved with NOW and Woman's political caucus.
They never said anything negative, but boy did I get looks when they asked what do you do? It was as if my life was defined by my employer.
But, as I told the career women, somebody needed to be around when the kids got home to be the scout leader, Sunday school teacher, foster parent. And to pick up the kids of working moms when they were throwing up at school.
When my kids were older and we needed income for college, I rehabbed houses. That gave me total control of my time and the budget.
Somebody needs to do the daily living stuff that enables the other partner to go work. But 40 years of ironing 100% cotton oxford cloth shirts was a PITA.
"Fat, annoying, hairy armpit....take your pick.
You may well have picked up friend's puking kids, but plenty (most?) moms leave work to care for sick children. No need for the sanctimonious "*SOMEONE* had to..." BS. Many volunteer as much as SAHMs and are the glue that holds their family together just as much as any other mom. I led Brownie troops and was team mom to plenty of sports teams - as was pretty much every mom I knew, whether or not they held jobs outside the home. Someone else's work status did not define my life nor should it have. I would suggest following that.
I made the decision to be a SAHM because my mom and dad got a divorce and I was a latchkey kid. Luckily, my husband was on board with it. I don't care what anyone says. Most of my peers have gone back to work. But my kids are high maintenance so I am lucky I can be here for them.
Because money, position, status is everything now. Competitiveness is seen as strength and success among men and women. Homemaker is not a competitive or financially lucrative role, thus it is not viewed as relevant, nor respected.
A homemaker who marries a wealthy man is most definitely a financially lucrative situation. It will allow the woman to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle while also ensuring resources and financial stability for her offspring.
And what could be more highly respected than raising healthy, intelligent, law-abiding children?
There is nothing more important than that -- working in an office cubicle for some B.S. corporation is not worthy of congratulations from anyone, in fact most people don't really give a flying hoot about a person's work achievements unless they were a scientist who helped cure a deadly disease.
Women who choose to stay single and devote their life to the office cubicle will usually end up alone with 8 or 9 cats and alcoholism. Definitely not a pretty end!
Also, competitiveness is seen as a strength among men, but not really among women. No one watches women's sports for instance. Biologically speaking, women aren't made to compete with each other or with men, except when it comes to competing for the affections of a high quality man to mate with.
I’m not really aware of people shaming home makers in my little piece of the world. In fact one family we know the wife is a doctor and the husband is a stay at home Dad taking care of two kids.
There's definitely some shaming going on here...but not to housewives.
Thanks . computers do data well. Conversation takes more thought.
We need a sarcasm emoji.
It has taken some years to get to where value judgements about women are no longer common.
I thought stating a 61 year marriage was a dead giveaway that I had gone back in time in the post referencing my kids. And hairy armpit feminist was pretty common. too. Do you know any Rush Limbaugh listeners from long ago?
But my wife and I are pretty similar. She would work second shift, I worked a "9-5" and would rarely see each other. House was a mess, both stressed out, eating like crap, etc. She quit and took on a traditional homemaker role and we've been much happier ever since.
However, when people ask what she does and the answer comes up as homemaker, there's often a scoff or snide comment made in response. It was entirely her choice whether to work or not. I've never forced anything. We even had one particularly bad neighbor spreading rumors that I was very controlling/beat her/etc.
In this age of female empowerment, why do so many have a problem with someone actively choosing a traditional role and liking it? Is it just jealousy of not being able to do the same and get by on one income? Especially when there are no kids involved. Or is it more deep rooted that women should not be doing such things anymore, even by choice?
I understand if one (not necessarily the woman) stays home to care for kids. Why would she stay home to literally "take care of the house"? As if there aren't two adults in the relationship who should easily be able to split up the various chores between them. In this day and age, many women have jobs that pay as well as men - why is this post not inclusive of men wanting to stay home when there are no kids?
Seriously, if two working adults eat like crap, it's because they choose to...if the house is a mess, it's because they don't choose to do chores. My guess is that the guy doesn't do ish when he gets off work and the woman ends up working AND taking care of all the chores. If that's the case, why wouldn't she want to quit working? So to me it's about one adult in the relationship being so lazy he won't share the work outside of work.
If a guy wants to pass up my $100k salary because he's too lazy to share in the laundry, cooking, and cleaning - that's just nuts!
Thanks . computers do data well. Conversation takes more thought.
We need a sarcasm emoji.
It has taken some years to get to where value judgements about women are no longer common.
I thought stating a 61 year marriage was a dead giveaway that I had gone back in time in the post referencing my kids. And hairy armpit feminist was pretty common. too. Do you know any Rush Limbaugh listeners from long ago?
There is still a stigma attached to women who don't work. The old stereotype of women sitting around eating bon-bons, watching soaps and gossiping with friends, while the kids are either at school or playing, has not completely gone away. And I'm sure there are some women who do have stay at home cushy lives. Most households need two incomes now since wages have not kept up with the COL, anyhow.
But at least the government recognized this, which is why spouses are entitled to receive an amount which is half of what their working spouse's Social Security payments are, even if they never worked a day. The government recognized that women's work at home was valued even if they are not paying into Social Security weekly. I'm surprised the people with machetes who want to cut SS haven't mentioned it.
There is still a stigma attached to women who don't work. The old stereotype of women sitting around eating bon-bons, watching soaps and gossiping with friends, while the kids are either at school or playing, has not completely gone away. And I'm sure there are some women who do have stay at home cushy lives. Most households need two incomes now since wages have not kept up with the COL, anyhow.
But at least the government recognized this, which is why spouses are entitled to receive an amount which is half of what their working spouse's Social Security payments are, even if they never worked a day. The government recognized that women's work at home was valued even if they are not paying into Social Security weekly. I'm surprised the people with machetes who want to cut SS haven't mentioned it.
But my wife and I are pretty similar. She would work second shift, I worked a "9-5" and would rarely see each other. House was a mess, both stressed out, eating like crap, etc. She quit and took on a traditional homemaker role and we've been much happier ever since.
However, when people ask what she does and the answer comes up as homemaker, there's often a scoff or snide comment made in response. It was entirely her choice whether to work or not. I've never forced anything. We even had one particularly bad neighbor spreading rumors that I was very controlling/beat her/etc.
In this age of female empowerment, why do so many have a problem with someone actively choosing a traditional role and liking it? Is it just jealousy of not being able to do the same and get by on one income? Especially when there are no kids involved. Or is it more deep rooted that women should not be doing such things anymore, even by choice?
My uncle wanted his daughters to both have careers so they wouldn't be dependent on their husbands and could leave them if need be. I think that's not a bad idea...but that's for young women who also happen to be my relatives. With everybody else it's more or less none of my damn business...and if I sneer at a 40 year older stranger for being a homemaker, she has my permission to kick me in the forehead.
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