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How would that law prevent your mother from marrying your father? How would she know if he was a cheater? Things happen unfortunately, most times no one sees it coming. Why would you want two people who simply fell out of love, even if they went to counseling & tried to work it out, to be unable to get divorced? How horrible is that, I would never want to be forced to stay in a marriage that wasn't working out. You can't legislate on love, just like gay marriage. You either allow it for all or for none, how stupid is it to make laws based on someone's emotions?
Its impossible for her to know he was a cheater. But there was more problems in their relationship than just him cheating. He smoke and drank and was a slob, and was very controlling and jealous. In my opinion my mother married him a little too early in their relationship, but she was only 18 at the time and she was a little naive. I don't think the law would have prevented her from marrying him in this case. But any law that makes it more difficult to get divorced means people might think a little longer before they get married in the first place. And if they had never gotten married, then they would have never had kids, which means there wouldn't have been three kids that spent much of their lives without a father.
Honestly I could care less if people got married or not. Love has nothing to do with marriage, no one is restricting anyones right to love. I just feel like if you get married that it should be forever. And only something severe like abuse or infidelity should bring you apart. If you have doubts before you get married, don't get married. Take birth control until you know for sure that he is going to want to stay with you for at least 18 years. Be responsible. Be an adult.
Last edited by Redshadowz; 01-05-2010 at 09:55 PM..
I just feel like if you get married that it should be forever. And only something severe like abuse or infidelity should bring you apart. If you have doubts before you get married, don't get married. Take birth control until you know for sure that he is going to want to stay with you for at least 18 years. Be an adult.
You can't count on anything or anyone being FOREVER. It's awesome when it works out though. There is no such thing as "knowing for sure". Most people don't have doubts when they marry and there is nothing in the world you can to to guarentee someone will stay with you. The ONLY thing you can know for sure is that everything and everyone changes. Getting married doesn't give you the ability to see the future. It's just "best guess" stuff.
You can't count on anything or anyone being FOREVER. It's awesome when it works out though. There is no such thing as "knowing for sure". Most people don't have doubts when they marry and there is nothing in the world you can to to guarentee someone will stay with you. The ONLY thing you can know for sure is that everything and everyone changes. Getting married doesn't give you the ability to see the future. It's just "best guess" stuff.
But there are MANY people that get married that have huge doubts and worries, they are really just "hoping" for the best. Plenty more people get married just because the girl gets pregnant and "its the right thing to do". The problem with society today is that, with all the social safety nets in place, no one really has to be responsible. But the people that are responsible have to "pay" for the people who aren't.
And while I think welfare and other programs aim to do good, in many ways they have done nothing but destroy the basic family structures. Once upon a time the number of single-parent families was neglible, usually caused by one parent dying. Now almost 1/3rd of all families are single-parent and that number continues to rise.
1. If children are involved there needs to be a better reason than incompatibility which could simply mean someone has a new boyfriend/girlfriend and wants to split from the old one.
2. 10 years or longer can involve permanent alimony. While I would prefer to see that done away with, barring divorce for frivolous reasons is a good first step. There is too much financial incentive with 10+ year marriages for someone to be allowed to file on vague grounds. With shorter marriages alimony is temporary and hence not much financial incentive for divorce, waiting until 10 years can ensure a permanent payment. There needs to be a good reason at that point.
3. Well divorce is messy and the other side not wanting something is going to happen, no reason to ban divorce because the other party doesn't want it.
If OK fathers are not allowed to divorce in OK then some will simply leave their family behind, leave OK and abandon their wife and kids; the mothers most likely will go on state assistance, i.e., OK taxpayers pay the bill. Some men may even murder their wives to end a marriage, another unintended consequence of stupid law-making.
True, some men may abuse the intent of the system.
Some women have been abusing the generous no fault divorce system that still heavily favors them with alimony and custody. Gold diggers and the like.
No matter what system you have, there will be people that abuse it.
I could care less if this law pass or didn't pass in Oklahoma , because it's not enforcable by the state of Oklahoma anyways. Just take a moment and think what's going to stop a couple from Oklahoma from going to Neveda and getting a quickie Divorce (nothing) is stopping them from doing it.
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