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But B.O. drinks Bud Light. Maybe that's why he's President light.
Seriously I think Pelosi runs $hit in Washington. Do you know how Italian women are? My mama would $itch slap Obama if he got out of line and I guarantee Pelosi has.
Oh crap I stepped on my own rule. MY THREAD I'M IMMUNE HA!
Holy cr@p. It's not like my drink has an umbrella on top or that I'm mixing fruit juice with my cocktail. It's smirnoff with a twist of pear, 'cause plain smirnoff straight up sucks the big one.
Back in 1995 I was stationed on board the USS LaSalle AGF-3, homeported in Gaeta, Italy. One night in Gaeta I dared an Irish bartender to make every drink he knew how to make. Yes, I was already lit when I asked him this. Don't know how I got back to the ship, don't know how I managed to walk across the quarterdeck and back to my rack, and I don't know what happened to my left shoe. But for two hours the next morning I was hugging a toilet that over a hundred men had already used. I gave up drinking that morning.
If you really want to get wasted, travel to eastern Europe for some homemade vodka. We had some in Odessa, Ukraine. So strong that one of our guys woke up married. He left the wedding band on the night stand and ran back to the ship. One guy woke the next morning in his own rack but wearing women's Mickey Mouse panties (our ship had women). The rest of his clothes were in the women's berthing compartment. We asked him if he got lucky and he said he didn't remember.
I especially felt the desire when I was in school.
Such a waste of time and energy....and I went to a 'good' school, too.
The military was the same way (to me at least)...a whole bunch of nonsense and a whole bunch of losers that couldn't find their way on their own and were looking for The Military to straighten them out. Sad. But that was a long time ago...
Anyways, here's a joke to lighten the mood:
Quote:
A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old timer, why the long face?"
The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me McGregor the dockbuilder? No, no."
The old man continued, "And see that ship out there? I've been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me McGregor the fisherman? No, no."
The old man continued, "And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me McGregor the farmer? No, no."
The old man starts to cry again, "But you screw one goat..."
Here's a kid friendly joke. "How much do pirate earrings cost?
A buckaneer!
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