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Of course, it's not over when you leave the clinic or hospital, and I'm more than willing to be honest about that. But, having a baby doesn't necessarily spare you grief either.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 04-08-2010 at 10:03 AM..
Of course, it's not over when you leave the clinic or hospital, and I'm more than willing to be honest about that. But, having a baby doesn't necessarily spare you grief either.
Thank you for saying that.
I just wish they knew the WHOLE story and maybe they could do something so they will not be put in the position of having to make that choice.
As far as being spared the grief, I will honestly say that for me?
The joy has far outweighed the grief and as I hobble across the floor and know I won't be around that much longer, I see their faces and it gives me my greatest joy.
The point of this thread was to say that abortion hurts more than just the baby, it hurts the mother too. I have seen it happen and would go as far as to say that the mother is probably not going to talk about that part in a casual conversation and maybe never.
You have made something legal that will hurt young girls and I wonder if they are informed of the heartache associated with "getting rid" (to put it mildly) of a part of themselves. A part that will bring them the greatest JOY of their lives. Once he/she has been conceived they are a part of you.
I think the word "fetus" should be replaced with "a part of you" and see how many will think more carefully about their "choice".
Greatest joy in their lives?? Like I mentioned earlier, I know a woman who WISHES she had aborted her daughter because her life has been a living hell since she was born. I know quite a few mothers, actually, who wished they never had children...it's just not something that is 'okay' to talk about. Not every thinks children are a bundle of joy, nor do they think having children is the end all be all of their life.
I'm happy that you hold childbearing in such high esteem, that's great.... but not one of the women I personally know (5 women in total) regrets their abortions. Not one. Not even the prolife protester who stands outside the planned parenthood in my city and protests the very thing she had done a few years earlier. And no, she was not pro choice before her abortion...she protested before AND after.
Thank you for saying that.
I just wish they knew the WHOLE story and maybe they could do something so they will not be put in the position of having to make that choice.
As far as being spared the grief, I will honestly say that for me?
The joy has far outweighed the grief and as I hobble across the floor and know I won't be around that much longer, I see their faces and it gives me my greatest joy.
There is no knowing the whole story. I couldn't have known the ups-and-downs of parenthood before having my own children. I love being a mother and knowing what it means now has only strengthened my belief in choice. Every child deserves to grow up healthy, safe, and loved. Forcing a woman to have an unwanted child makes it less likely for that child to be healthy, safe, and loved.
As a nation, we can't even ensure that existing people have access to adequate health care, and WIC and other entitlement programs for families are under constant assault. Just look at the turmoil that health care reform has caused in America. As such, you're going to have a hard time convincing me to vote for the overthrow of Roe v. Wade. It's wonderful that you believe in the transformative power of motherhood, but my experience shows me that life and people are cruel, and children suffer the brunt of it when brought into a society that is unprepared and unwilling to care for them when the parents fail to do so.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 04-08-2010 at 10:36 AM..
I don't feel bad for you, I feel bad for the young girls that will be crying 12 years later and thought it would be over when they left the abortion clinic.
You should tell them about THAT part if you feel like being honest.
not all women feel bad about having an abortion. you are projecting how you think you would feel on to them. many many people do not feel regret at all. just because you think motherhood is a joy does not mean it is for all women. why should any woman live their life according to how you feel?
I don't feel bad for you, I feel bad for the young girls that will be crying 12 years later and thought it would be over when they left the abortion clinic.
You should tell them about THAT part if you feel like being honest.
mag32gie - It's beyond many females comprehension that the sure-fire way of NOT getting pregnant so to NOT having the potential to abort is to keep their legs closed.
They want their cake and eat it too.
Not that I subscribe to this: But this is how the disposable society has worked for some time now and it's even more "accepted" nowadays.
But then again it's their choice in which they will regret it (even if they don't tell anyone or truthfully admit it) sooner or later AND when they meet their creator if they believe there's one.
Yes, for me to go any further would get into another subject but I just wish that when the "choice" is laid onto the table, it would be laid out with a grandmother on one side of that table.
I wish they could know things that we know before they put themselves into the situation to begin with.
Thank you to all who replied.
I agree with you that abstaining from sexual activity is the only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy; however, it isn't realistic. Furthermore, I have a hard time with a man who uses the phrase "wanting their cake and eat it too" regarding intercourse. It's generally pretty easy for a guy to walk when unprotected sex leads to conception. Not so much for the woman. Add to that a society that seems to go out of its way to penalize mothers, and I cannot in good conscience support legislation that would place limits on early and safe abortion. (I remain opposed to third-trimester abortion unless the mother's life is legitimately in peril.)
Last edited by formercalifornian; 04-08-2010 at 11:25 AM..
I agree with you that abstaining from sexual activity is the only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy; however, it isn't realistic. Furthermore, I have a hard time with a man who uses the phrase "wanting their cake and eat it too" regarding intercourse. It's generally pretty easy for a guy to walk when unprotected sex leads to conception. Not so much for the woman. Add to that a society that seems to go out of its way to penalize mothers, and I cannot in good conscience support legislation that would place limits on early and safe abortion. (I remain opposed to third-trimester abortion unless the mother's life is legitimately in peril.)
Why isn't it realistic?
This society is too "sexed" up IMO is all I will say and BTW I'm a straight Man just FYI just in case anyone thought differently.
Thanks for all who responded to my posts as this is my last here as I don't want to go towards another avenue which would be in other subjects.
Do you have a mothers heart?
If you don't, you will never understand it.
Actually, I agree with what that poster said (about motherhood not necessarily being the be-all and end-all or being a "holy" thing), and I do have a mother's heart. I love my children more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I have three sons.
BUT to say having given birth to them was some sort of magical thing that automatically brought me the most joy I could ever possibly have would be seriously narrowsighted of me. How do I know that? There are people who are childfree by choice whose greatest joys have absolutely nothing to do with procreating.
There are also people who have an abortion earlier in life, then much later, after they have their stuff together and have the mentality, the maturity, the finances and the firm relationship to give a good life to children, do have them; who, if they'd had that earlier child, would NEVER have given that child a good life. And we're not just talking financially. For those situations, having children at a positive time did turn out to be a great joy; in the reverse, for many who would have been great parents later, having a child way too early often results in no joy at all, or very little of it--for either the parent or the child. So to say it's unilaterally any woman's greatest joy is extremely inaccurate.
Also, note that while parenthood CAN bring huge, huge, huge joy (and often does--at least for me!), it also brings huge, huge, huge stresses, so it's sort of like a roller coaster. If the huge joys overwhelm the huge devastations ("I hate you!" from the mouth of a teenager, to make one example, and it's nowhere near the "worst" that can happen), then yes, you can and should be a parent. But they won't for everybody because we are all different, and it doesn't make a person wrong or bad to know she doesn't have it in her--right then, or maybe ever--to go the distance.
I love my children to pieces. They are amazing. But every living thing on earth, barring medical/biological issues or lack of opportunity, can procreate. It is not some holy grail to have a child. It's beautiful--for SOME people, and when they really, really want the child. For others, it's definitely no greatest joy. One only has to look around the real world to know that.
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- It's beyond many females comprehension that the sure-fire way of NOT getting pregnant so to NOT having the potential to abort is to keep their legs closed.
