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How unbelievably arrogant and irresponsible of you.
I too have had people come to me for advice. We have talked through ALL the options available to them, as well as the real impact each will have on their lives. One thing I would never do is coerce someone to do anything based on my opinions, it is ultimately their decision to make.
Er... they went to her for advice and she gave her advice. How is this irresponsible or arrogant at all? It sounds like they were quite happy with the results of their choice; they are glad they didn't have an abortion. Can't we be happy that they are satisfied with the choice they made especially if they were?
The point of this thread was to say that abortion hurts more than just the baby, it hurts the mother too. I have seen it happen and would go as far as to say that the mother is probably not going to talk about that part in a casual conversation and maybe never.
You have made something legal that will hurt young girls and I wonder if they are informed of the heartache associated with "getting rid" (to put it mildly) of a part of themselves. A part that will bring them the greatest JOY of their lives. Once he/she has been conceived they are a part of you.
I think the word "fetus" should be replaced with "a part of you" and see how many will think more carefully about their "choice".
The point of this thread was to say that abortion hurts more than just the baby, it hurts the mother too. I have seen it happen and would go as far as to say that the mother is probably not going to talk about that part in a casual conversation and maybe never.
You have made something legal that will hurt young girls and I wonder if they are informed of the heartache associated with "getting rid" (to put it mildly) of a part of themselves. A part that will bring them the greatest JOY of their lives. Once he/she has been conceived they are a part of you.
I think the word "fetus" should be replaced with "a part of you" and see how many will think more carefully about their "choice".
Your adoration of motherhood is one of the reasons young girls get pregnant....it's not holy...and NOT the end all and be all of being a woman.
For one thing the issue will never go away and yes, we know that it is LEGAL. It is very offensive to many but really nothing we can do about it.
A part of the sadness is for the mother as well as the baby. Have you ever tried to tell your teenager something and years later they say "Mom, now I understand"? Or have you as an adult ever thought back and said "Now I understand that my Mother really did know what she was talking about"? Why didn't I listen to her?
I just want to say that from a grandmothers point of view, when you are old and gray with aches and pains, your greatest joy will be your children and your grandchildren. I think it will be very sad to know that one of yours is not there and it was all because of you. There will always be that empty place to remind you. I think you will not care that it was legal but only care that you did it.
In our family we have 2 children that were adopted and we love them with all of our hearts. The Mother of one has just spent a week with her child and yes, she cried when she had to go home but she knows that he knows what she did for him and he LOVES her for it. She loves that he is alive and so much like her. She was only 16 at the time and she listened to her great grandmother who also came to visit.
I have talked many out of having an abortion and they have ALL come back to thank me over and over again. I have tried to talk some out of having one and they have come to regret what they did.
I get very angry when I hear the smug pro choice reasoning because they never mention the damage to the mothers heart that comes from her choice. She will feel it eventually and so will her mother and grandmother.
Much better to use birth control than to put yourself into that situation because it is not without heartache and you will never erase the memory of what you did or the empty place because of it.
That's just how I feel about this and nobody can ever change my mind or stop me from warning people because if I stop, I will feel I have let looked the other way and I can't do that.
Abortion will ALWAYS be an issue, you can't erase it from the mothers heart, even if they don't understand yet.
As a woman who aborted her second pregnancy, I don't need you to feel sad for me. I'm very aware of the grief, but you shouldn't assume regret for every woman who aborts a pregnancy. Even twelve years later, I can still summon the tears, but I don't regret my decision at all. It was made in consultation with my husband, my doctors, and several members of my extended family. It was the right thing to do. Your opinion is irrelevant and insultingly patronizing. And, as a mother of two wonderful kids, I remain a staunch and unapologetic advocate for choice.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 04-08-2010 at 09:45 AM..
As a woman who aborted her second pregnancy, I don't need you to feel sad for me. I'm very aware of the grief, but you shouldn't assume regret for every woman who aborts a pregnancy. Even twelve years later, I can still summon the tears, but I don't regret my decision at all. It was made in consultation with my husband, my doctors, and several members of my extended family. It was the right thing to do. Your opinion is irrelevant and insultingly patronizing. And, as a mother of two wonderful kids, I remain a staunch and unapologetic advocate for choice.
So tell your kids they were the lucky ones you didn't choose to abort, and that their very existence is a "choice" that belongs to you, and you alone.
So tell your kids they were the lucky ones you didn't choose to abort, and that their very existence is a "choice" that belongs to you, and you alone.
They were indeed lucky, because they weren't anencephalic. Furthermore, their existence is a "choice" that belongs to me, and me alone. I was the person who chose to participate in the act that conceived them.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 04-08-2010 at 10:02 AM..
I don't feel bad for you, I feel bad for the young girls that will be crying 12 years later and thought it would be over when they left the abortion clinic.
You should tell them about THAT part if you feel like being honest.
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