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Married couple in their 50's. Married over 20 years. Marriage appears to be solid based on mutual love and respect.
Husband tends to be overly affectionate in front of parents and siblings where he will lean over to kiss his wife numerous times during a dinner or leans over and asks his wife to kiss him.
She is at odds by this behavior - is it a control thing? a "see how strong our marriage is" thing?
Yes, since he appears to be putting on a show for others I would say that he has some need to prove how much he loves her, and/or how happy they are. I would imagine this would be irritating to the wife since he doesn't do this all the time and it is a facade of some kind.
That's what it is, playing some role ...it's fake. He ought to be more affectionate at home, in private, not the other way round. I see many couples here at the beach hand in hand, all lovey, dovey..I had a boss whose BF told her I love you 50 times an hour in public but he beat her in private...
Sometimes a man can be overly effectionate to his wife in public (especially with family and relatives) because it's his way of staying in control of his wife..He won't LET anyone else get too close...he wants her all to himself so he can manipulate her and rule her life.....just a thought..
Perceptions mean a lot. A woman likes it when spectators see that the man she loves spontaneously and thoughtfully pays attention to her and shows her affection. It is a nice thing for a man to do, it shows observers that he has affection for her, and also shows her that he knows that she likes to be seen as an object of someone's affection and is willing to comply with a gesture that achieves the objective, to make her feel good about herself.
Of course, it shouldn't be overdone to the point that it is sickening. It needs to appear casual and spontaneous and heartfelt.
Maybe he's always been that way...maybe she loved it way back when....maybe "she is at odds by this behavior" means it's just become irritating to her now.
Married couple in their 50's. Married over 20 years. Marriage appears to be solid based on mutual love and respect.
Husband tends to be overly affectionate in front of parents and siblings where he will lean over to kiss his wife numerous times during a dinner or leans over and asks his wife to kiss him.
She is at odds by this behavior - is it a control thing? a "see how strong our marriage is" thing?
It's also possible that being with family makes him feel more affection towards her. Or maybe she's a little embarrassed by it in front of the family so notices it more. It's also possible that he's trying to show the family that they're happy together.
I remember the only time my ex gave me a big kiss in the last decade we were together. I'd just walked in the door from being out of town on business for a few weeks and thought, "Wow! She missed me!" But when it never happened again I realized she was just putting on a show for our daughter and her fiance, who were there and getting married in a couple days.
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