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my younger brother only feels comfortable when he is arguing and fighting. kindness and peace make him feel uncomfortable.
He lives with my ex best friend who is now his best friend. this guy is very passive and my brother is very aggressive and this guy likes to be ordered around. this guy pays for my brothers rent, bills, groceries, cell phone bill and has for the past two years.
Also my brother has a large group of social contacts because he plays in a band and my ex best friend was into music and my brother got him into his band with him.
because my brother gets pot for him because of his connections and lets him play in his band this guy basically dumped me and started hanging out with my younger brother. they now live together where this guy pays for all my brother s bills.
also, whatever my brother says this guy agrees with, even if it's something that in the past he disagreed with. He even walks BEHIND my brother wherever he goes like a servant or a submissive.
my brother comes over to my apartment and my parents out to 'visit' and every time he starts a fight or an argument, usually about politics or history. my brother mocks you, demeans you and threatens you. he even once got my very PASSIVE dad who NEVER gets angry, so angry that he physically threw him out of the house.
My brother has cast me in the role of 'the man'. he is anti everything.. anti american culture, anti government, anti corporation and he hasn't worked in FIVE years because my ex BF pays for all of his bills.
my brother has cast me in a role to all of the people he knows as though i'm some jock corporate guy.
I'm a quiet, passive gay guy into philosophy and i don't like sports or fashion.
when these people meet me they assume I am the way my brothers portraying me and then they treat me like i'm some kind of outsider.
I'm at a loss.. i feel my brother is mentally ill and an extreme emotional bully. my ex BF i could care less about because if he's willing to treat me like this i don't think he was ever a real 'friend' to begin with.
This really isn't a tough decision, someone treats you crappy, you move on.
I completely agree. If he's badmouthing you to people he knows (and they believe it): (A) Don't hang out with those people, and (B) They're probably pretty dumb anyways. Otherwise, just deal with him when you visit your parents and leave it at that.
How would you deal with ANY bully? You'd avoid him, right? So...avoid him. You can pick your friends. You can't pick your relatives, but you can choose not to associate with him. When you have to see him at your parents' house, simply don't engage in a conversation with him. If he gets out of hand, say, "Mom & Dad, I love you...but I'm gonna go now." You can't change your brother and clearly your ex-BF has found someone whose attention he prefers over yours. Find new friends.
Same way you would get rid of any other bully. Five knuckles to the mouth. Four knuckles actually, the thumb shouldn't be there.
Actually it should just be two (index and middle). Your ring and pinkie knuckles break way too easily to want to hit someone with any amount of force with them.
Have a set of stock responses if you are in a situation where you aren't ready to leave but he's acting like his typical @ss self
"really? that's interesting" ::walk away::
"well, if that's your opinion" ::walk away::
"yeah, I've heard some people think that way" ::walk away::
::long, silent stare:: "uh huh" ::walk away::
Don't let him provoke you or make you fearful and tongue tied. The guy gets a rush from the feeling that he is overpowering someone. Shut him down by not engaging.
Have a set of stock responses if you are in a situation where you aren't ready to leave but he's acting like his typical @ss self
"really? that's interesting" ::walk away::
"well, if that's your opinion" ::walk away::
"yeah, I've heard some people think that way" ::walk away::
::long, silent stare:: "uh huh" ::walk away::
Don't let him provoke you or make you fearful and tongue tied. The guy gets a rush from the feeling that he is overpowering someone. Shut him down by not engaging.
Absolutely correct. Your brother gets a rush out of bullying others so don't have any conversation with him.
If you live at home with your parents and he comes over, go to your room. If you have to be in the same room with him, learn NOT to engage in any conversation with him.
Don't let him make you a victim because you're not. Stand up to him by ignoring him.
Don't worry about your ex friend. Get new friends that are more like you.
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