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If you are a scapegoat, chances you loathe your parents and maybe are estranged from them. Now, how do you feel about the golden child? Do you resent them? Do you even talk to them? Would you go to the funeral of parents or the golden child?
Last edited by angrymillionaire; 09-04-2013 at 04:56 PM..
My brother was the golden child, I was the scapegoat. I phrase it that way, as now, since no one else speaks to our mother, he is really getting dumped on. He is finally understanding what has been going on all these years, and he is not liking the position he is now in.
Since my mother is a narcissistic drunk, she has done everything in her power to filter everything through her and never wanted my brother and I to have any type of meaningful relationship. However, we prevailed and are very close, I do not resent him, never have, I knew it was all her.
My brother was the golden child, I was the scapegoat. I phrase it that way, as now, since no one else speaks to our mother, he is really getting dumped on. He is finally understanding what has been going on all these years, and he is not liking the position he is now in.
Since my mother is a narcissistic drunk, she has done everything in her power to filter everything through her and never wanted my brother and I to have any type of meaningful relationship. However, we prevailed and are very close, I do not resent him, never have, I knew it was all her.
I think this is a ""nice"" unique position where golden child goes from golden to realising that gold plate on their forehead is a form of abuse & they want to let go of all strings attached. My situation is that golden child is still priviledged and will forever be & as a result never realize that golden horse they are sitting on is actually a mule. Untill then, everybody else is supposed to witness my mother fake medical bills just so we give to her & she gives to golden child! It gets exhausting!
I think this is a ""nice"" unique position where golden child goes from golden to realising that gold plate on their forehead is a form of abuse & they want to let go of all strings attached. My situation is that golden child is still priviledged and will forever be & as a result never realize that golden horse they are sitting on is actually a mule. Untill then, everybody else is supposed to witness my mother fake medical bills just so we give to her & she gives to golden child! It gets exhausting!
I now call my brother the Goldgoat... My mother was always trying to wrangle money out of me...never him...I must admit, that did burn my azz. I finally wised up, the money train derailed.
Yes, it does get exhausting, but it will never change, all you can do is stay no contact and move forward with your life, leave em in your dust.
I seldom speak to my family. I don't hold a grudge anymore for the favoritism, but it has simply left me feeling empty towards all of them. I have little or nothing in common anyway. I try to feel something for them, but I can't.
I seldom speak to my family. I don't hold a grudge anymore for the favoritism, but it has simply left me feeling empty towards all of them. I have little or nothing in common anyway. I try to feel something for them, but I can't.
I seldom speak to my family. I don't hold a grudge anymore for the favoritism, but it has simply left me feeling empty towards all of them. I have little or nothing in common anyway. I try to feel something for them, but I can't.
You should not have to. The emptiness is there because that is the reality, creating feeling is something that can't be forced. The parents who create those roles chose that route and to sacrifice the non-golden so what else is there for the scapegoat, but to let go and move on.
You should not have to. The emptiness is there because that is the reality, creating feeling is something that can't be forced. The parents who create those roles chose that route and to sacrifice the non-golden so what else is there for the scapegoat, but to let go and move on.
I figured the emptiness is better than being bitter and hurt. I used to be, very jealous of my younger brother. In the end, I moved far away from my family and let go of all that hatred that was festering inside. It's just that in the process, I lost any love I had for those people and any hope that it will get better. I still speak to them now and then, but they are strangers. For this and for other reasons, I would not mourn them.
I tend to avoid even discussing these issues as it tends to open up old wounds, but I thought I'd add my 0.02 worth as it's an issue that has affected me greatly and well into adulthood.
I was the youngest and smallest in an angry family - you know the stuff rolls down hill. In my early twenties, I decided I could no longer afford to be the family punching bag and moved to the other coast. It is tough to be a motherless/fatherless child but that is the only way I could even start to heal.
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. Untill then, everybody else is supposed to witness my mother fake medical bills just so we give to her & she gives to golden child! It gets exhausting! 
My mother was always trying to wrangle money out of me...never him...I must admit, that did burn my azz. I finally wised up, the money train derailed.
