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I had this vision of working in this big corporate building after graduating, moving to a big city and getting an invigorating position.
But I stayed at home, got a pretty decent job at a pretty cool company. Left for more money and got fired before a year was up. That move has since screwed me over, I work for a very small company in an old dusty office now.
I have no idea why but I place all my self worth in my job title/position. Lately this seems to be biting me in the ass because I grew up to be nothing amazing at all. I am just a person, working a job.
There is no glory and nothing amazing about it. I do not have a new group of friends or a girl friend which is something else I thought I would develop through my "career".
I have tried interviewing at a few larger places for various job titles, although two of the places wouldn't tell me what the positions were until after I interviewed, I found out they required 5 years of experience and I only had maybe 1. I just hope to god I can interview again at these same companies because maybe I would be a good fit for a different position??
I tried interviewing for a few positions out of state, but talking to hiring managers over the phone yields no results.
What really gets at me is that I left my first job at a great company for this... Yes I make a lot more money but what the f*** am I doing with my life??? There is no passion here, it is mind numbing.
Having been fired once for no particular reason at all I have that burn on my record.
did someone early in your life give you the idea that work gives you your self worth? and also if you are a man, this is a traditional belief. its what men did a few generations ago. so its really an old fashioned work ethic, which is totally great.
nowadays a lot of work rules have changed, and people have to change what they do about work. used to be - go to college, graduate, get a career a couple months later, buy a home, have 2.5 kids and live. but economics nowadays - it doesn't work like that.
you still have to do what you enjoy, if not, then you still have to pay your bills. there are a lot of college graduates working at grocery stores, restaurants, (non college jobs) because this is all they can get.
I myself am working at a job which is not glamourous, but its great in many other ways. i get bored many times, but the benefits of working outweigh not working.
so maybe you have to do like I do - find excitement outside the job and have a meaningful personal life. Work to pay the bills, i mean find a job that you like well enough, and find excitement outside the job. you can say the job gives you enough money to do the things outside the job that excite you.
I have always worked to move forward with my life, not my job. I worked for the same company for 30 years, starting on an assembly line and then working my way up to management. I never went to the boss and asked for a promotion, they would come to me and say "you are getting a promotion".
My goal was to have more money saved every year so that I could retire early. I retired at age 47 just to get away from my job. My personal life has always been more important then my professional life.
When I started out I was thinking that my profession would bring far more fulfillment than it actually does. I do have a good job, at a large co, make good money, etc. In the end it's just a job and I work for the weekends. My kid, OTOH, blows me away. She gives my life meaning. It's all about family now.
Anyhow, just relax. Do well where you are. Try to develop your skills. This little co must have something to offer in the way of resources. Even if it's just learning from others. Carve out your position and then move on when you get experience under your belt.
Some people have jobs that more or less define them. For example, if you are a member of The Rolling Stones, that's probably how people see you. On the other hand, many people have perfectly ordinary jobs.
Still, their lives can have great meaning, too. I guess I wouldn't worry about it too much one way or the other.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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There are many more important reasons to measure one's self worth, such as having raised successful, decent children, watching them raise grandchildren, having true friends that care about you, and of course a life partner that has stuck with you through thick and thin. Having a great job is icing on the cake. Having all of those things is ideal, and a good goal to aspire to, but not always achievable for many reasons. Sometimes one or more will make up for the lack of some others, but it's normal for there to be some lack of self-esteem if they are all or mostly lacking.
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