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Strikes close to home as a sufferer who is currently untreated. Have experienced some of the phenomena described in the article re: therapists often just don't want to deal with BPD and find reasons to stop seeing you or pawn you off on someone else.
One of the best analogies for BPD I’ve ever come across described us as “Emotional burns victims”. We either lost, or never formed the emotional skin that most take for granted. For us, a simple hug can be agony. We wish we could articulate this as the kind gesture it was intended to be, but we just got hugged on our burn scars. An emotional outburst is understandable, if not inevitable. But the scars are not visible. So when we yell, what response can we expect? “Stop being crazy” is the most common, and it’s entirely understandable. All of a sudden, or over time, little starter pistols take the place of normal interactions. A firm handshake becomes bullying, a flirty gaze becomes sexual harassment, a kiss that leads no-where becomes an abuse of sexual power. The everyday world is firing starter pistols left and right, and only we can hear them. Trust me, we all know this makes us crazy. It makes us hard to deal with. Wanna know why? The best treatment we have includes group therapy.
Ah, so you are borderline. Now your misanthropic posts and attitude make more sense.
The best treatment for BPD is not group therapy, it is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. If you are intent on getting better and not being a pain in the ass to the world around you, look into it.
And you are probably better off avoiding posting to forums.
Ah, so you are borderline. Now your misanthropic posts and attitude make more sense.
The best treatment for BPD is not group therapy, it is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. If you are intent on getting better and not being a pain in the ass to the world around you, look into it.
And you are probably better off avoiding posting to forums.
DBT almost always, as a matter of course, teaches skills as part of a group.
BPD is a particular challenge for men because like eating disorders, it's thought of as a woman's issue by the general public and by a surprising number of mental health practitioners. The developer of the theraputic approach based it almost exclusively on her work with women.
It's also due to internal wiring or chemistry issues combined with a history of invalidating environments, and symptoms are often triggered by same.
Ah, so you are borderline. Now your misanthropic posts and attitude make more sense.
The best treatment for BPD is not group therapy, it is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. If you are intent on getting better and not being a pain in the ass to the world around you, look into it.
And you are probably better off avoiding posting to forums.
What a churlish response from you.
I would expect no less.
Clearly you didn't bother to read the article, as it goes on to also say that DBT is the only effective treatment.
DBT almost always, as a matter of course, teaches skills as part of a group.
BPD is a particular challenge for men because like eating disorders, it's thought of as a woman's issue by the general public and by a surprising number of mental health practitioners. The developer of the theraputic approach based it almost exclusively on her work with women.
It's also due to internal wiring or chemistry issues combined with a history of invalidating environments, and symptoms are often triggered by same.
So you've done you good deed for the day.
No kidding, right? Like I said, I would have expected no less from her than an attack, as she dislikes men generally, and loathes me specifically. Certainly in the bitter/needs therapy category herself.
My posts, on this forum or any other, are rooted in observable logic. It's just logic that she doesn't like, therefore she resorts to ad hominem.
No kidding, right? Like I said, I would have expected no less from her than an attack, as she dislikes men generally, and loathes me specifically. Certainly in the bitter/needs therapy category herself.
My posts, on this forum or any other, are rooted in observable logic. It's just logic that she doesn't like, therefore she resorts to ad hominem.
Let that one fly across the bow. I applaud you for coming forward with this. The biggest challenge for borderlines is admitting that they are flawed. We all are, and borderlines for sure, but their biggest blind spot is intense sensitivity coupled with defensiveness. That insult struck me as a mean, so no need to lower yourself.
I am pretty sure my son (10 y.o.) is borderline. He is in special ed, and he has been in deep trouble many times, because he cannot keep himself from overreacting. Yes, borderline is more common among women, but the ratios I see are only about 70/30, so fully a third of borderlines are male. I worry especially about male borderlines, because if they do not get help, the are much more likely to be a real physical threat to their families, or to end up in jail. High strung women are just considered a PIA, not so with guys. Also, there is the suicide risk, and guys are much more likely to be successful at that. As a father, I think this is a very important issue, and again I appreciate you posting this. I am going to read it, then post back. For now, I just wanted to say no need to yell at someone who kicks you when you are down. Their character shows through from their actions clearly enough.
I really liked that article. Very engaging writer, and I think the guy is spot on. Guys are not supposed to be emotionally volatile, that is for women. All those guys who go on shooting sprees, kill themselves (directly or indirectly), beat their spouses and kids, etc.,etc.,etc. are all perfectly rational, or just evil. I suspect more than 25% of the BPD sufferers are males, and I agree that many could benefit from knowing it and getting treatment.
I really liked that article. Very engaging writer, and I think the guy is spot on. Guys are not supposed to be emotionally volatile, that is for women. All those guys who go on shooting sprees, kill themselves (directly or indirectly), beat their spouses and kids, etc.,etc.,etc. are all perfectly rational, or just evil. I suspect more than 25% of the BPD sufferers are males, and I agree that many could benefit from knowing it and getting treatment.
I hope they do that.
If guys were not supposed to be emotional volatile then there would be no emotionally volatile men in the first but they are so obviously this idea of what is supposed to be is crap.
I was in therapy 2 years before I got the right diagnoses of BPD. Men are very under diagnosed with this disorder. As a Man I have been very upfront about how this has negatively affected by life. Men have many of the same problems as women with BPD- but we have more anger issues, substance abuse, and reckless aggressive behavior, that sometimes is diagnosed as ASPD.
I have been in DBT for 5 months now- and after much work feel I am making a recovery- which is totally great.
I was in therapy 2 years before I got the right diagnoses of BPD. Men are very under diagnosed with this disorder. As a Man I have been very upfront about how this has negatively affected by life. Men have many of the same problems as women with BPD- but we have more anger issues, substance abuse, and reckless aggressive behavior, that sometimes is diagnosed as ASPD.
I have been in DBT for 5 months now- and after much work feel I am making a recovery- which is totally great.
This is wonderful news. Keep up the good work! I wanted to post this on the "what the hell is the point of therapy" thread, but I did not feel like explaining. Therapy (of the right sort) is ideal for BPD, at least that is what I read.
My wife and son have yet to be diagnosed, but I am nearly certain this explains a great deal. BPD people do not want to cause carnage, and I think they feel bad about hurting other (perhaps more than non - BPD people, given their sensitivity), but they do have maladaptive responses to stress. I think it is perhaps even more important to catch and treat this in men, because when they go off the rails, they really can cause damage, to themselves and others. You are right about the substance abuse, I suspect many alcoholics have BPD and clinical or nonclinical levels.
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