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I find it annoying when people make unsolicited comments about a person's weight.
Do they really think that the person isn't aware that they are "overweight" or "thin"? Making such comments is rude and unnecessary.
Do they really think that by saying "You are overweight and need to lose weight" or "You are too skinny and need to eat more" that they person on the receiving end of their comments will say something like "Wow! Thanks for telling me! I wasn't aware that I was (fat, skinny). I'm going to do something about this starting right now!"
Sometimes you have to assess who is saying it, too. In a lot of Latino cultures, mentioning a weight gain is a fact, not a judgment. My Cuban friend said when she visited her cousins, they were always sure to note out loud if she'd put on weight. Last year at this time I had rapidly put on weight from taking prednisone. A Puerto Rican woman in my office came running over one day with a photo from the previous year's Christmas party, exclaiming within earshot of all,,"Look how much weight you gained since last year!" Yeah I wanted to strangle her, lol, but I knew she wasn't being mean.
I had to explain this to a coworker who came back from maternity leave, too, when another Puerto Rican woman came by and asked about her baby, then said, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight!" then smiled and walked away. The new mother was stunned--I could see it in her face.
Sometimes you have to assess who is saying it, too. In a lot of Latino cultures, mentioning a weight gain is a fact, not a judgment. My Cuban friend said when she visited her cousins, they were always sure to note out loud if she'd put on weight. Last year at this time I had rapidly put on weight from taking prednisone. A Puerto Rican woman in my office came running over one day with a photo from the previous year's Christmas party, exclaiming within earshot of all,,"Look how much weight you gained since last year!" Yeah I wanted to strangle her, lol, but I knew she wasn't being mean.
I had to explain this to a coworker who came back from maternity leave, too, when another Puerto Rican woman came by and asked about her baby, then said, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight!" then smiled and walked away. The new mother was stunned--I could see it in her face.
^Good point! My father is Puerto Rican and routinely does this. The PR relatives don't mind but others find it offensive.
I find it annoying when people make unsolicited comments about a person's weight.
Do they really think that the person isn't aware that they are "overweight" or "thin"? Making such comments is rude and unnecessary.
Do they really think that by saying "You are overweight and need to lose weight" or "You are too skinny and need to eat more" that they person on the receiving end of their comments will say something like "Wow! Thanks for telling me! I wasn't aware that I was (fat, skinny). I'm going to do something about this starting right now!"
Yes, we need to be kinder to one another. I'm not overweight myself, but most people in my family and friends are. They're all beautiful people and have all been self-conscious about their weight and don't need others pointing it out to them. I mean, we all have physical imperfections that we're all painfully aware of. It's absolutely terrible being called out for physical issues that have really little to do with who you are on the inside.
A lot of people like to say most fat people are just lazy and eat too much. That might even be true, but there could be a lot of other deeper issues at play. I'm an emotional eater who battles depression and anxiety, for example.
If you really want to help an overweight person, don't make comments, no matter how innocent or helpful your intention is. Let them come to you and bring up the subject themselves. And then offer to help them by exercising with them, dieting with them, or just being emotionally supportive via listening.
The people aren't being as bad as you are making them out to be. Obesity leads to major health issues and everywhere we look, we are being reminded of that. And, the flip side would be the eating disorders and also that many people today have illnesses that we never heard of years ago. I think more often than not, the person making comments is concerned for the health of the other person and maybe just not good about expressing it.
A couple of years ago my husband's sister posted a picture of herself and a couple of co-workers and she gained at least 75 lbs, maybe more. So, he decided to message her and tell her that she needed to lose some weight. He tells me this. I said, "She's a nurse and I am sure she is aware that she is overweight and of the health problems that could come with that." He said "Well, I wanted her to know that I cared about her well-being."
I think though that the more uncomfortable one is about the extra weight they carry, the more they hear those comments in a negative way. Kind of a reflection of the way they feel themselves, uncomfortable about their weight. And, with thin people, I think they may be worried that the person is ill and would want to offer support.
The people aren't being as bad as you are making them out to be. Obesity leads to major health issues and everywhere we look, we are being reminded of that. And, the flip side would be the eating disorders and also that many people today have illnesses that we never heard of years ago. I think more often than not, the person making comments is concerned for the health of the other person and maybe just not good about expressing it.
A couple of years ago my husband's sister posted a picture of herself and a couple of co-workers and she gained at least 75 lbs, maybe more. So, he decided to message her and tell her that she needed to lose some weight. He tells me this. I said, "She's a nurse and I am sure she is aware that she is overweight and of the health problems that could come with that." He said "Well, I wanted her to know that I cared about her well-being."
I think though that the more uncomfortable one is about the extra weight they carry, the more they hear those comments in a negative way. Kind of a reflection of the way they feel themselves, uncomfortable about their weight. And, with thin people, I think they may be worried that the person is ill and would want to offer support.
I've mentioned before that I'm not much of a people person myself.
I talk to others, but most of the time it's just to feel somewhat normal and to keep them off my back somewhat.
Whatever I do to get the weight down won't be an easy chore.
But I'm quite certain that all these people giving me the so-called advice will be long in the rear-view mirror once I reach my goal.
I'll take advice and use it to my advantage, but I've got this nasty habit of crediting it with being a creation of my own and leave them out of it.
When people comment about others' weight or conditioning, they are revealing that they think constantly about others' appearance. And probably they are comparing themselves favorably or unfavorably to them as well.
One of the worst experiences you can have with a good friend, is hearing right off the bat about your weight gain or loss. You know right then then that they have been judging you all along.
The only good defense I know of is to ignore the comments.
When a friend loses weight, I don't mention it right off the bat, but I do eventually tell her or him that she/he looks great. They get it. But my comment doesn't imply judging, you know?
People whom comment about another's weight or point out the" fat person" are insecure jerks.Just be nice to a fellow human being, it's not up to you to call them out on their unhealthyness.I find many whom do this have major issues themselves.
People whom comment about another's weight or point out the" fat person" are insecure jerks.Just be nice to a fellow human being, it's not up to you to call them out on their unhealthyness.I find many whom do this have major issues themselves.
See, there you go judging! How do you know that someone who is overweight is unhealthy? I mean, you assume that, but unless the person is very obese, how can you assume that he or she is unhealthier than you? You can't know. You just assume, and in assuming, you are being judgmental.
I am not meaning to call you out or shame you; its just that your words really do reflect your inner feelings.
Would you assume that every thin person is anorexic? Or that every gray haired person is old? Or that every old person is foolish and incompetent?
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I said, "She's a nurse and I am sure she is aware that she is overweight and of the health problems that could come with that." He said "Well, I wanted her to know that I cared about her well-being." 
