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On this forum, small talk is greatly disliked by some. If we wish to know why this is so, we can not learn the why until we have learned the what. so the question is...
What is your own definition of small talk?
Share with us your examples or stories of small talk.
Small talk is generally surfaced chit-chat; i.e. subjects that are not controversial or taboo. When I don't know someone well (like at work), I keep the topic safe and not too personal.
It is foreplay leading to a bigger, better more in depth conversation *hopefully*
Small talk can be anything from how is the weather in your area to love those shoes do you remember where you bought them.
What if someone is fascinated by weather and studies it and records it for a hobby? would talking about the weather be considered small talk now?
What if someone is a shoe maker or designer? is it small talk for them to talk about something that is petty for others but very interesting for themselves?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maus
Small talk is generally surfaced chit-chat; i.e. subjects that are not controversial or taboo. When I don't know someone well (like at work), I keep the topic safe and not too personal.
Ah, but this is what i am talking about. what is not controversial or taboo to ourselves may be so for another.
This is why i think small talk is different for each person and why i seek some more personal examples of it pretty please.
It's people trying to make conversation just to be nice, coming off as 2-faced. They don't genuinely care to talk to you, nor are the genuinely interested or have anything of note to talk about, but to be polite-pr showing pity, say they did, etc, they come over and "chit-chat" Usually for me, it's the "What have you been up to" / "What's been going on" things in that ball park. And the people asking don't give a damn I am sure.
Like when I hadn't been to church in a while. 1 lady there, who's known me since I was 9-10. She says she missed me, and wonders where I have been, and what I have been up to. She didn't care. We hardly speak to one another. She was just being nice, or trying to put me on the spot because I hadn't come in a month.
When I was out shopping, I run into an old school mate, who smiles says high and asks what I am up to. Again, we were not friends, or even acquaintances. So again, she didn't care.
So, I hate that, because since we're not close, they have no reason to care what's going on with me, or my life. Now if they like a hairstyle or outfit and wanna ask questions, then I wouldn't call that small talk. it's something of genuine interest.
I hate small talk, and I think I invite it because I am quiet. So people see me keeping to myself and feel sorry for me, or think I am a loser desperate for someone to talk to me. So they wanna come over and chat randomly, or they think I am weird and wanna chat to see how weird or stupid I am for themselves.
I can put my ear-pieces in, and listen to my music and get lost in my own thoughts. But then there's the small talk of "Hey, what are you listening to?" when I am at family functions
"Does it matter, and do you really care" is what I am tempted to say, of course I just fake smile and tell them. lol
Ok, how about this: Small talk is any non value added chit chat about those topics that everyone mentions but no one really cares about the answer to. How do you like the weather? It's ok, how about you? Fine. Did you hear about Emma's husband's second wife's sister's brother and the first grade teacher? .....
For me, it is conversation about relatively mundane issues, which is engaged in almost exclusively for the purpose of social interaction with another human being.
It's idle chit-chat meant to fill the air and pass the time. It's also sometimes meant to be an icebreaker (e.g. before a business meeting) to help people feel more at ease. Small talk is often superficial...it isn't meant to have much depth or be taken too seriously. Lots of people just like to socialize just for the sake and/or fun of it. They just DO it with little or no expectations and then move on to whatever's next. Most "small talk" conversations are unmemorable and will be largely forgotten a short time later.
Small talk is a good thing, and in some situations it is important (along with other soft skills). However, don't over-analyze small talk and try not to make a big deal out of it.
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