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I mean I have tried dozens of medication and been through years of therapy. None of it helped in the slightest. Is this the best western medicine has to offer?? Am I hopeless?? Am I destined to be a forever alone man child living in my parents' basement because of my debilitating anxiety?? I just want to be a functioning human. Why god why? BTW I'm not going to kill myself. I'm too much of a coward for that. When ever I search for help for my anxiety I get 3 responses:
1.therapy
2.medication
3. Man Up
Is that really all there is available?? It makes me soo sad. I could've been a god, but instead,I am just a lowly peasant defeated by a little kid problem: social anxiety.
I remember you from your first post. Looks like every post since then has included some form of over-the-top self-degradation. I'm going to proceed as if you're real.
I'm not saying "man up", but ultimately, you do have to take control of your own happiness. No magic pill or therapy is going to give that to you. Society is not going to give that to you. You need to decide that you want it so you can start doing something about it.
In my response to your first post, I think I recommended taking some small steps to improve your life, that you can build on and that will grow your self esteem. It looks like you got a job at a drugstore, so there you go - that's a HUGE step. That's really great, man.
From here, you can make the choice of giving it your best, or not. You know social skills aren't your strong point, but you can make up for this by being the guy who's always there a little early, who works hard, who doesn't give the boss an attitude, who's willing to step in and help out wherever needed. Who's willing to pick up shifts when co-workers call out. Social skills aren't my strong point either, and I'm not always the top performer in a job, but I've always managed to endear myself to bosses and co-workers by consistently being dependable, helpful, and pleasant. In some situations where I have little in common with the people around me, I've skated by socially merely by laughing heartily at other people's jokes - it strokes their ego and they come to like having you around, even if they initially thought you had "no personality". You can manage to make up for your social inexperience, too, in your own ways. But you have to decide you want to.
Picture where you want to be in 5 years. Living on your own? Having a friend or two? Earning a paycheck? Not putting yourself down in the most piteous ways imaginable? Whatever it is, picture it. And decide if you want this and are going to try for it. Look, you'll probably always have some social anxiety. But lots of people do - and they cope with it. They work around it. They find ways that they can excel in other areas, and thus make it in ways other than being social. Ultimately, as you get older, you can even learn to like yourself.
It's not "man up", but you need to come to the realization that there ARE things you can do on your own to change the situation for yourself.
Okay, so I also notice that you've been giving some helpful (at least helpful-minded) advice to guys your age. That's a start, too. Congrats, low-self-esteem guy, you're not an a-hole on the internet! You have the desire to help people. Find things about yourself to be proud of, like this. And then just get to rebuilding your life. You're very young - a lot of things are possible for you.
I remember you from your first post. Looks like every post since then has included some form of over-the-top self-degradation. I'm going to proceed as if you're real.
I'm not saying "man up", but ultimately, you do have to take control of your own happiness. No magic pill or therapy is going to give that to you. Society is not going to give that to you. You need to decide that you want it so you can start doing something about it.
In my response to your first post, I think I recommended taking some small steps to improve your life, that you can build on and that will grow your self esteem. It looks like you got a job at a drugstore, so there you go - that's a HUGE step. That's really great, man.
From here, you can make the choice of giving it your best, or not. You know social skills aren't your strong point, but you can make up for this by being the guy who's always there a little early, who works hard, who doesn't give the boss an attitude, who's willing to step in and help out wherever needed. Who's willing to pick up shifts when co-workers call out. Social skills aren't my strong point either, and I'm not always the top performer in a job, but I've always managed to endear myself to bosses and co-workers by consistently being dependable, helpful, and pleasant. In some situations where I have little in common with the people around me, I've skated by socially merely by laughing heartily at other people's jokes - it strokes their ego and they come to like having you around, even if they initially thought you had "no personality". You can manage to make up for your social inexperience, too, in your own ways. But you have to decide you want to.
Picture where you want to be in 5 years. Living on your own? Having a friend or two? Earning a paycheck? Not putting yourself down in the most piteous ways imaginable? Whatever it is, picture it. And decide if you want this and are going to try for it. Look, you'll probably always have some social anxiety. But lots of people do - and they cope with it. They work around it. They find ways that they can excel in other areas, and thus make it in ways other than being social. Ultimately, as you get older, you can even learn to like yourself.
It's not "man up", but you need to come to the realization that there ARE things you can do on your own to change the situation for yourself.
What have your therapists had you do to address your difficulties? How did that go?
The standard CBT. Positive self talk and exposure in small steps. Can't say it's possible for me to have positive self talk and exposure is incredibly hard.
I would say the first step is to stop visiting therapists and psychologists...they are overwhelmingly a huge waste of both time and money, and are unable to solve anything that doesnt involve the use of their textbook methodologies to attempt a temporary fix, and while likely serving you the old stock "Im not here to solve your problems, Im only here to help you solve your own issues...or Im here to show you how to cope with your own issues and help you see them from a different perspective etc" or some variant of hogwash thereof..so steer clear of them entirely and firstly. They dont and wont have answers.
Next, i would thrust yourself around small groups of people...even if you have to start with a small support group...it will, at minimum give you a different perspective on your own issues, while not expecting some unrealistic 180 in how you feel. It will also give you something to look forward to, and somewhere to be every week, so that you wont just be trapped in your own thoughts...and then, within that group, youll likely find that each person has small tidbits of wisdom that you can apply to your own situation in context. You'll also probably meet people who want to exchange contact information with you, so that you can talk with them at any time youre troubled....and from there, I would also say to stay physically active...its hard to have time for fretting if youre always moving or tired. I think youll probably have to come to the conclusion that you will have to accept managing your condition, until it gets better on its own...this may mean long term management, but from the sound of it, it almost certainly wont mean an immediate fix for your dilemma. Good luck, bud.
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The standard CBT. Positive self talk and exposure in small steps. Can't say it's possible for me to have positive self talk and exposure is incredibly hard.
So you did or didn't make any of the changes necessary?
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