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Would your parents be interested in visiting the Grand Canyon? In visiting the painted desert/petrified forest, and the meteor crater? Montezuma's Castle? Sedona? Flagstaff?
BTW, I would advise people to visit Seattle during the winter months. It seems that some people move here, and find the grey/gloom/rain/drizzle to be disheartening/depressing.
Check out the City Data's Seattle threads. Many of these threads are concerned with moving to Seattle.
Last edited by Tim Randal Walker; 02-16-2016 at 09:03 PM..
Right now, save as much $ as you can. I would love to live in California but it costs $$$$ to live there. I'm a single guy and if I lived there, I would be broke and that would hinder my ability to get a date there. Plus, broke guys don't stand a chance with most women.
Remember, something has to motivate you to get you through with whatever you want to accomplish.
Just curious, but how are things going with your boyfriend? How are things really going in your graduate program? I ask because I can't help wondering if either or both might be coloring your feelings about where you are in life right now and that's translating into "I have to get out of this place!" One thing that suggests this to me is your comments about missing your parents so much; often, people find themselves wanting to go home to a safe place with family to take care of them when other things are unstable in their lives. So, you might give some thought to what is really bothering you. It may not be desert living so much as something else going on in your life that needs attention and fixing.
Best wishes!
Almost from the first, I wondered about the boyfriend, etc. OP, you really don't seem to include him in your current or future plans. Do you live with him ? Was it a mistake to base your move on following him ?
There is so much good advice on this thread and you have been good in responding to what has been written. You said you were mainly venting and I agree. I think you know what you are going to do. You are in a circular argument with yourself right now.....<s>
I have always been blessed with the ability to find something interesting, no matter where I landed. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always perfect and sometimes I couldn't wait to get away and sometimes it was the result of my own poor choices or decisions. But, life went on and it all worked out. At 72, I don't care to look back.
I wish you the best and I hope you can accomplish whatever you decide to do. Make a decision don't you look back. Of course, if you keep muddling along and coming out here to CD to vent, the 2 years will pass pretty fast.....lol.
I love that perspective! If I ever make it to CA, I won't EVER leave again. This is very, very, very wise and so true! Can I ask what you dislike about Seattle? That's one of the "top" places I'd like to move after my masters if California doesn't work out. I've heard GREAT things about the city and that there's a lot to do there... it's also very close to water and it's a very "green city" or so I've heard. I also hear it does RAIN and drizzle a LOT though, which can be unfortunate.
How is cost of living/ job opportunities in Seattle?
Yes, it's very green due to all the rain and drizzle. It is very gray and damp close to 9 months out of the year. As I've aged, that has affected me more and more. I do not like how noisy and crowded it has become. Traffic is so bad that sometimes it takes my husband 1 hour to get home and that's driving 7 miles not on the highway.
Also, I have young kids and I don't like raising them in the city. I can't let them ride their bikes on city streets without me. Our yard is tiny. Everything we sign them up for costs a ton of money.
It has become so very expensive and inconvenient here. My house was under $400K when I bought it 12 years ago. I could sell it now for close to $900K.
I've watched my city change a lot and I'm just not digging it. It's probably great for young person without kids, as long as you never want to buy a house. I'm aging out of this place and looking for a new adventure.
Doing this kind of thing right now. We ended up moving somewhere neither of us wanted to be. At the time our options were limited and we were in a major arm twist to move where we are now. We have been in the process of trying to line up the right things to move somewhere we want to be but it is a long process. In the interim I try to keep myself from losing my mind.
I try to avoid places that I loathe being at and spend more time at the few places that are nice in the city we live in. I order more than half of our purchases online to avoid having to go shopping here. It is something I find miserable. I love going shopping if we are somewhere else that isn't such a nightmare.
I try to keep the house as much of a sanctuary as I can. It is one place I can control and make it a bit more like where I want to be rather than where we are stuck.
Try to enjoy things here and now where you are at. Don't get stuck in the mentality of I will do things when I move.
When I get truly fed up I look at houses and try to plan bits of what we need for when we can finally move. We also try to take short vacations about twice a year if we can to get out of here and back to civilization where there are things to do.
A student, and working? I've done that, and it is exhausting. If one can work it into the schedule, find some time to veg out. A novel can transport you mentally to another place. Watch movies. Find television programs you enjoy. Or whatever comes to mind.
I am definitely planning on joining a yoga class/ club soon. I think it would be easier if 2 years just didn't seem like so long. Maybe it's because I'm young and two years to me, is half of college and I've already been here a year. It just seems to be an awful long-time to be wasting in a place I don't like, but then again, I KNOW finishing what I started would help me in the future.
I like the dry, 100 degree heat and the tan/brown geography of the surrounding mountains and rock formations.
Growing up in Victorville pretty much got me used to that and the amenities of a big city like Phoenix just makes it all the more a welcoming place to me.
If anything, dealing with a place that experiences winters for the past, going on four years has made me long for getting back to an actual desert even more.
Figure if I'm going to have to deal with my current line of work for a longer time-frame, I'd rather do it some place where the icy roads don't have me driving a semi at 10-20 mph for 10-11 hours at a time.
I'd make the most of it, finish your program, and get out. The parent thing is tough. I too feel an obligation that a lot of people don't get. Hopefully they are around awhile for you to enjoy.
You have a time limit on how long you have to be there, you are making decent money, you have a boyfriend, you have a job and grad school to keep you busy. I understand your frustration, but I'm gonna say you just should suck it up for now and make a choice to be happy where you are. You are paying your dues so that in a few years you will be able to further build the life you want. And let's face it, even though Arizona is (imo) just a very weird state, it's really not a hell on earth and your situation is pretty darn good.
If you really find yourself with time to be miserable, it's time to do what others have suggested and join some meetup groups, volunteer, catch up on your reading, get a pet, window shop, expand your cooking repertoire, go to the gym, write (if not stories, then letters/emails to your parents), keep in touch with old friends online and through cards/letters, explore weird little spots, etc.
I spent a lot of time working on my happiness when I was younger. When I'm stressed or down, I kind of do what I call a "gratitude" check. At a minimum, I know that I am loved, I have the means to make a decent living, I have good people in my life, I have decent health (mental and physical), I know who I am - these are all important things that I am thankful for. I can weather anything else with the knowledge that the situation will improve eventually.
People like us are very privileged when you think about it - we are educated and living in the US. The world is really our oyster. That doesn't mean we never have a down day, but it does mean we are free of many of the struggles that afflict a significant amount of the world's population. I am not minimizing your misery - merely suggesting you look at it in the context of a much bigger picture.
I did this. I too am from California. As a young adult, I also moved to a desert town I hated (still within CA, however) to be closer to my mom (she moved there for cheap housing).
I didn't miss where I was from in CA, however, I just didn't want to live in that desert town my whole life. I knew there was more to the country than that, and didn't want to live the rest of my life *knowing* there was more out there. I busted my butt to save money to get out of there. And just when I had enough money to leave....
I met my wife. She was a native of said desert town. I stayed another two years. Told her I'm out, or we both are. I told her I couldn't live there my whole life, though she would have been content with doing so at the time.
She relented, and now we reside on the Great Plains within sight of the Rocky Mountains, and we've been here nine years.
It's mostly better. I'm not quite rotting away. We've both found careers, money, home ownership, kids, a few friends (but not a terrible amount of them). Some of the wife's family has moved here too.
You just have to accept and know that you won't be there forever. Have one foot out the door, if only in your mind. Your heart is telling you the truth, whether you accept it or not.
Phenomenal post. Thank you for this. "Have one foot out the door, if only in your mind."
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Escapism :)
A novel can transport you mentally to another place. Watch movies. Find television programs you enjoy. Or whatever comes to mind.
