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As someone who's longing to get to a place like Phoenix, I envy the position you're at.
It's still not terribly long from CA beaches, there are mountains within bicycling range, and of course it has all the urban amenities I grew accustomed to while living out in the CA desert.
So yeah, I'm an "Actual Desert Rat". I say that because of the numerous, nearly violent confrontations I get into with people in eastern NM/west TX that consider this plain a desert.
Nearly four years out here in this weird place and I still feel like an outsider.
That said, all the suggestions mentioned above would work quite well.
Despite being fired from a job I was intending to transfer out of here with, I've been keeping various routes of escape in mind;
A)Continue looking for other, local trucking gigs in the Phoenix area and snatch it up, and move as soon as I'm qualified.
B)Attempt to hold out here a little longer with my current job, or bounce to another one while finishing up the nursing program or something at the local community college. Then move and get into another field altogether.
or C) Just cobble my resources together to get me by for a few months in someplace like Phoenix while searching for work after I get there.
When I got out here from Victorville CA a little over three years ago, I knew there would be some continual doubts about living out here.
But I rolled with the punches and tried to make it work.
It ultimately became a bit of a 50/50 scenario where I gained work experience, and to a lesser extent, some nice toys from the venture.
However, a new-found and long-standing grudge with the supervisor from my old job, lack of any real relationships(friend or romantic, not a whole lot of people I see eye-to-eye with) to be had, and of course a 10-15 hour drive from anything I'd like to do has really killed the vibe with this area for me.
I say keep the goals out in front of you and continue doing things like going to school, or working out/yoga/fight classes,. etc, or taking as many non-work related road trips as possible to keep yourself from going mad.
What do you like about the desert?
I am definitely planning on joining a yoga class/ club soon. I think it would be easier if 2 years just didn't seem like so long. Maybe it's because I'm young and two years to me, is half of college and I've already been here a year. It just seems to be an awful long-time to be wasting in a place I don't like, but then again, I KNOW finishing what I started would help me in the future.
I think it's awesome how much you love your parents. I hope my kids think something similar some day. (Although I'm betting they're younger than you're thinking.)
If you're committed to staying where you are, some suggestions (and I don't like my new state either: I miss VA):
Look into Meet Up groups. I've been completely surprised at the nice people I've met.
If you're an animal lover -- only if -- adopt a small dog or cat (keeping in mind that it's a 12 to 18 year commitment. Visit dog parks to hang out with others.
Find a few parts of your new town that really do make you happy like a great hair stylist, a great dentist etc. Sounds dorky but focus on these great people to some degree.
Even if it's rough financially, try to get an inexpensive pedicure or something like it once a week.
Get out w/ your laptop to Panera and drink coffee and work (sometimes just being out helps).
Find a senior home that is positive and kept up and visit once or twice a month. Bring flowers and chat w/ the residences. I did this recently and it was fun.
Find something like a yoga class that has a good teacher.
These little things seem goofy, but do two a week and you might start feeling better.
I would call my parents daily to chat -- they'd love it. And why not? People in other cultures do this sort of thing without thinking twice about it.
Take care -- I know it's hard,
Alley
Thanks so much! a lot of what you mentioned has really been my savior. I found a nice little farm and I go there pretty often with my laptop. I did adopt a kitten and my boyfriend adopted another, they're both great and really help me. I know cats are a lot easier to manage than dogs.
I haven't tried Meet-Up yet. Is it awkward to go alone? I really want to try it one of these weekends. I signed up, but it seems like a lot of people who attend seem to be a bit older than my age-group.
I just keep going back and fourth so much. part of me just says F-this... I need to go back to California, I'll figure it out I can't keep being this miserable. Then I just start feeling rational and think that if I can put through these next two years, my life will be a lot easier. If I can have this job as a reference with my masters degree and great internships, I will have a lot better shot at supporting myself in an expensive state like California. It's just the two years ticking SO slowly that has been driving my crazy lately. I just hate being in a place that I dislike so much. I hate being so far from my family...
I look at pretty pictures of different places on the internet where I'd like to live. Then I read comments about them. Then I look at the cost of living there. Then I figure I can't go anywhere right now, but enjoy thinking about it, and make the best of my circumstances, going to places I like and restaurants I enjoy.
Oh, and by the way, I HATE where we're living at right now, but don't have much choice about it. So I think about what I'd like to do in the future, and investigate it if possible. In your case, you can think about where you'd like to go, look at employment prospects there. Everyone has different tastes. I remember visiting Arizona, taking a buggy trip in the desert, and hearing residents there tell me how much they LOVED the desert. (Not me.) So if you can "visit" some places on the internet, you might keep yourself busy in the meantime. Take care. (P.S. - I always loved water -- even just looking at it. There is little water where we're at. Ugh. BUT -- I keep dreaming of the future, that keeps me in a better frame of mind, too.) I visited S.F. years ago, I liked the weather a lot. Many people do. Two years may seem like a long time, but it goes by quickly. You'll get there. But otoh, if you can't make it where you're at, don't let it get you down, don't let it depress you. I hope this makes sense.
It definitely does! and this thread has helped me so much. I feel like such a baby saying that I "hate" where I live, but I really strongly dislike it. I miss being near the water so much, it does really affect my mood. I miss being near green, I miss the water, I miss my family... I just feel depressed here, but I know running away, isn't the smart thing to do. I am very tempted though... i've honestly thought about calling my parents, moving back, and just figuring it out from there. The thing is, it's a huge risk. It could turn out really well, or it could be the worst decision of my life. I could be unemployed and living with my parents and that's NOT what I want. I don't want to burden them, as much as I miss them. I know what I have here is good, i just really dislike the place... I am so homesick
I agree, two years DOES and CAN fly-by quickly... It just is going by so slowly, now that I feel down
Three years huh? Would that be law school? Hit the books and finish, then move back to California. Heck, three years is a season in law school.
Nope... :P not law school.... Hint... I am projected to make much less money than a lawyer, but there is more work in my field (it's less over-saturated).
I am definitely planning on joining a yoga class/ club soon. I think it would be easier if 2 years just didn't seem like so long. Maybe it's because I'm young and two years to me, is half of college and I've already been here a year. It just seems to be an awful long-time to be wasting in a place I don't like, but then again, I KNOW finishing what I started would help me in the future.
I would advise forget the yoga and crack the books! Books, books, books!
I guess my dilemma is... should I finish my degree, not quit my job and suck it up, finish what I started, being miserable for two years? or take a big risk and move back to California with no current job prospects, but knowing that is where I want to be?
I know that I am on a good career path, especially for someone my age and if I were to finish these two years I would have a much better shot at a good job in California. BUT two years seems to be so long...
Just curious, but how are things going with your boyfriend? How are things really going in your graduate program? I ask because I can't help wondering if either or both might be coloring your feelings about where you are in life right now and that's translating into "I have to get out of this place!" One thing that suggests this to me is your comments about missing your parents so much; often, people find themselves wanting to go home to a safe place with family to take care of them when other things are unstable in their lives. So, you might give some thought to what is really bothering you. It may not be desert living so much as something else going on in your life that needs attention and fixing.
When I was your age, I would have cut and run. But, from my older and somewhat wiser place now, I know how quickly two years goes.
In two years, you will be able to move back to California with a graduate degree and a great job reference where you worked for over 2 years (3?). You'll be in a great position to find a good job.
So, if you can wrap your brain around a 2 year plan and keep visualizing yourself finishing your degree and making sure you have a great job reference, and taking that back to California, it will probably make your time go easier in your desert town.
So, in your free time, check out the jobs in California that you would be qualified for in 2 years. Keep your end goal in mind.
I say this because you don't hate everything about where you are. If you hated the job and the graduate program, it would be a no-brainer. But, you don't hate everything. So, try to focus on the positive, see if you can find something else to do that you enjoy, and keep your end goal in mind.
I know that's easier said than done, but I think you'll be really proud of yourself if you accomplish it and you'll be able to interview for your new job after graduation with lots of enthusiasm and confidence.
This is a great post. If I were the OP I would not want to live somewhere I hate either, but when making major life choices we must consider things other than what we want. The OP will have a much better chance of getting a good job and securing a decent life in California if she follows this posters advice. San Francisco is an outrageously expensive place, a good job is a must to live there.
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Hint... I am projected to make much less money than a lawyer, but there is more work in my field (it's less over-saturated).
